Every Winter I Gain 20lbs – Refusing to Let That Happen #weightloss #getfit #workout

It occurred to me that last Winter was very difficult for me; my moods were unstable due to having less sunlight. As I get older, I notice my body and mind doesn’t handle things quite as strongly as it used to and that is why today, December 10, 2013 I decided to make a plan and must stick with it. I lack follow through when it comes to sticking with a workout. My last results to a steady workout, happened quite a few years ago. I kept up with my Wii EA Sports Active 30 Day Challenge and lost a great amount of inches and weight. I went from 220 to 180 lbs. I could eat whatever I wanted, but I’m not a huge junk food fan anyways, as long as I did my workout five days with two rest days somewhere between that seven day term. I was so pleased with my body, but still wanted to tone up. Somewhere life happened and I stopped that whole routine; a move, a break up and what not – made me stop working out.

Weight Loss Dec 10 2013 Day 1 Workout Starts Front View

I went down to 206lbs some how in a month but now I am back up to 223.2lbs and wearing size 16 pants. This is my starting point … excited to see where I am at each week and results for end of month. I would like to see me lose 2lbs per week minimum, which places my goal weight for end of 30 days at about 214.5lbs.

Weight Loss Dec 10 2013 Day 1 Workout Starts Side View

Let’s see …. I must also measure inches, but for now I cannot find my tape measure that I use for inches measured. Today I leave you with the following stats and must report in every 7 days with you all. I am going to set an alarm on my clanedar so that I know which day to report here with new pictures and stats. For now, this is the workout I am using for the next 30 days via YouTube on my PS3. Excited to see how it works for 30 days.

Stats for today:

Weight - 223.2
Height - 5’6″

Pants Size – 15/16

All workout posts will be Pinned to Pinterest too, alongside anyone else doing workout updates. So please Follow my Board on Pinterest. My Weight Loss Journey Board is a group board so feel free to request to join the board, I will add anyone to keep us all motivated!

Raising a Child with a Mood Disorder #bipolar

I believe raising a child with any diagnosed ‘disability’ is difficult. I personally am only able to write about my experiences with having a child who has a mood disorder, they question bipolar for sure but due to his young age that ‘label’ hasn’t been ‘officially’ placed as far as I can recall from his records on file at his psychiatrists office. Raising a child with a mood disorder is not always fun and games, you have to deal with this child differently than any other.

One of my biggest obstacles raising a child with a mood disorder is trying to ensure that my five year old son doesn’t take after his seven year old brother’s mood swings simply by the ‘monkey see, monkey do’ mentality. My youngest is a healthy boy without any major medical issues, he doesn’t have any diagnosis for any mental health or other disability diagnosis. I honestly believe my youngest is full blown ADHD at times, but he is just a normal young boy with a lot of energy as well as curiosity about his world, however, he is also a young boy who looks up to his big brother who happens to have many medical issues and a diagnosis of a mood disorder. Telling a five year old that his brother has a mood disorder and his actions are due to that but are still unacceptable is not going to sink in. That fact alone makes parenting difficult with three children and one being diagnosed with a mood disorder.

My son with the mood disorder was an angry baby, sure he had his happy moments that were clearly documented on my YouTube channel back around age 2 you can see my son’s playing together and being super cute. It wasn’t always the case in our household though and it’s heart breakig to watch, even now, as your child struggles with mood fluctuations. As a growing boy his medication needs to be changed often, for once he had a medication that really worked but when it was time for a medication dose increase, that wasn’t an option. The prior medication my son was on had made him gain near 70lbs due to the side effect of increased appetite. The dose needed to be changed but instead we changed medications altogether to ensure that he was on a medication without the appetite increase side effect.

My son’s weight went down. He is slowly losing inches and getting taller, with this new medication he is no longer having huge bursts of appetite desires. I am thankful for that part of the scenario.

One of my other challenges as a parent raising a child with a mood disorder is that unless other people in society have lived with, dealt with or have a family member diagnosed with a mood disorder, they all think it’s just in our heads. That my son is normal, he doesn’t have any issues and all is fine. With that being said, sure if someone who has never seen him off of medication entirely sees my sons, he appears completely normal. The other side of my son is that he seems to have slight anxiety that also runs in the family, this anxiety inhibits his mood fluctuations while in school or other social settings for the fear keeps his mood swings at bay.  Many of the school officials seem to have zero clue this year as to my sons diagnosis, something that must be addressed in our first parent/teacher conference and those who worked with my son the prior two years were amazing, compassionate and understood.

I find that I have great success raising my son when I am supported by people, both friends and professionals, who treat my sons mood disorder as a serious mental health disease. It’s a chemical imbalance but due to his brain still growing we hope we outgrows this and doesn’t end up having to be on medication for all of his life like his Auntie.

Each day is a new challenge, every few months it seems my son grows enough or builds up a tolerance to, the current dose of his medication and must have it adjusted. We have to take time to ensure that the mood swings are from his mood disorder and not any variable changes in his world too. It’s not just a matter of saying “oh he’s acting up with mood swings again, let’s get his meds increased”, as parents his Dad and I really have to take time to ensure that our son isn’t just “off” that week or day. It’s not an easy thing to do when this child can often have changes in school we are not aware of due to his teachers and the other school officials not really keeping an eye on him this year to notify us of any changes.

When my son is having one of his spells either due to a medication being too low or variables in his world he can’t it handle like people without a mood disorder, it drains me. I have to physically restrain my son in a basket hold in order to get him to take a time out, more often than not the normal ‘one minute per age’ doesn’t work right away with this boy as he takes a long while to chill his mood swing before he is seated in this basket hold without a fight. It takes all of my energy both physically and mentally most days to raise this child, and when this son is taking up that much of my energy, the other two kids are missing out.

I constantly battle with emotions and questions if this is creating issues with the relationships I have with my other two children but then I realize, no it isn’t. The children all go to sleep at some point and I am very aware of my other two children’s reactions to their brothers outbursts and mood swings. I keep a close eye on everyone to ensure that life stays happy for us all, but some days, just some times, I wish that my son never had this mood disorder. I wonder what his life would have been like up to this point without the mood disorder.

I then realize life’s too short to wonder what if and why, I simply do my best to not rip someone’s head off when they give me a look as if my son is just an ill behaved child; I usually let them know right away that he has a mood disorder so before you judge why don’t you think! Every parent and child struggles with their own issues, when you are a parent raising a child with a mood disorder your heart breaks because you are not only in a constant battle to hold your family together but in a constant battle with society to get them to wake up and acknowledge bipolar is real and it isn’t fun for anyone, especially the person diagnosed with it.

So next time you see a child or a parent at their wits end, near tears and having a difficult time – try to lend a compassionate look, hug or hand rather than a dirty look and pass judgement. We all are walking our own path, don’t judge what you don’t know or understand.

A Little Thursday Morning Fun Video

Since owning an iPhone one app I have been playing with is Vine. I don’t know how all of those on there edit videos to be totally #vinecool but this is my attempt to make a funny about working from home …. I uploaded it to YouTube as well as Vine, this is the YouTube version ..

Have a wonderful day everyone!

Memories Forgotten … Then Remembered

For so many years I held this anger inside of me and had turned to drinking as an outlet to deal with the pain and unloved feeling I had as a teen. Even into my adult years I still held this anger and grudge for things that can not be undone, not only did I feel anger towards others, I felt it towards myself. Now that I have become who I am today, I still struggle with lost memories as well as this guarded feeling at times.

Sure I can remember a lot of pain I have gone through but I try to hold close the happy times and memories that I can bring to the forefront of my mind. It’s just difficult for me to remember what I had for dinner yesterday let alone what happened many years ago, but then I had a wonderful experience.

I was able to have some of my old home videos transferred over to DVD by YesVideo and the memories flooded. One Christmas with two daughters, a mother and a father. The father was recording a mom with her two daughters playing Connect Four. Do you know I never remembered playing board games with my mom, ever, and the funny thing is when I told her about this DVD she didn’t remember either. Maybe I should show her, thought about uploading it somewhere and sharing but not sure my pajama mom enjoys being on YouTube as much as I do!

So, remember, no matter what bad times you have been through and no matter what people have put you through or you have put them through, always remember you made mistakes too and once you become happy within your own self, you will be able to rebuild those relationships and make them blossom beyond control! I am thankful for memories forgotten but then remembered!

What are you thankful for?

Jeff Dunham and Walter Crack Me Up

I recently started to watch Jeff Dunham, you see I happened upon him on tv while channel surfing completely by accident and now? I really want to see him live. The act between Jeff and Walter crack me up so much.

I guess it’s because Walter is always calling Jeff a dumbass that sticks in my head but it’s also because Walter says things that we just do not say, like not acceptable to society but totally hilarious! I would love to meet Jeff Dunham and Walter some day!