Random Happiness Thoughts and Pictures #familylife

I talk a lot about what brings me complete joy and anyone who is near me can feel the happiness radiate off of me when I am around all three of my children. I just adore my children, but not in the way that I am closed minded to their imperfections. We all have imperfections, we all have to work on our inner self each day. I feel that growing as a person, never stops.

With that being said, welcome to a glimpse into my true inner happiness….

photo 4 Random Happiness Thoughts and Pictures #familylife

The sun shined down and I was able to dress down a bit. Shown above is my first of three tattoos I have. This one is my first favorite because it’s a shamrock on my lower right ankle that is meant to be a tat for my first born. Some day, when money allows, I will add my daughter’s name to this tattoo. My daughter has requested that she be there when I have that done. Warm weather and the ability to show my tattoo side makes me happy.

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No one could have ever explained to me the feeling you get when you hold your first born niece. I fell in love with this little bitty girl 15 months ago and she continues to amaze me. This is Livy, my niece, who is shown above grabbing my hair {gently} and turning to say MINE. I swear she was having hair envy in that moment. Spending time with my sister and her baby girl bring me happiness.

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Watching my middle child, who rarely enjoys the great outdoors, play at the local playground while waiting for his sister the other day was such fun. I enjoy seeing this child happy because out of all three of my children, he is the one who doesn’t waste emotions. This son of mine is happy if he’s happy and sad if he’s sad, mad if he’s mad. Period. That’s it. There is always a pretty reasonable reason for his feelings too. Very simple and I love him for it. Spending time outside with my children, just being a kid with them brings me happiness.

photo 11 Random Happiness Thoughts and Pictures #familylife

Last but not least, spending quality time with my children is important and nothing makes me happier than when my children jump up to sit on this counter top while I am doing dishes or dinner and chatting it up with me. The simple fact that I am still important to them, even my oldest, makes me smile from inside out. Spending time listening to my children speak about what is going on in their world, brings me happiness.

I suppose, you can gather from this post that most of what brings me happiness is a side of me with a main course in parenthood. I hope you find happiness in your world every day!

 

 Random Happiness Thoughts and Pictures #familylife

Are Some People Simply Meant to be Alone?

This is a question I have pondered for quite a many years. Why? Well because no matter how many times I end up in a long term committed relationship, within a year something is always missing for me. I start to feel weighted, I start feeling alone. I look at my life and see that I am doing as much as I would be doing if I were living alone, but now I have to deal with another adult being in the house. That presence of another person just drives me bonkers – this goes for room mates, visitors and a partner. I just don’t like being around the same adult every single day. I enjoy having my space, my freedom to just sit in my house without anyone being around.

ID 100235570 Are Some People Simply Meant to be Alone?Take my kid free weekends. If I have been with someone for about a year, I start to wish they had somewhere else to be. I want them out of the home so that I can spend two solid days in complete utter silence. No other person’s energy, words or presence to agitate me. I enjoy my alone time, but see I enjoy my alone time much deeper than just needing more time to me. Get a hobby, some will say. Get out of the house, go have fun. You deserve me time, some will say. I do that. It doesn’t help anything. I slowly start to feel suffocated by the existence of another adult in my world.

The funny thing is? I never feel that way about my children. Although I do know I need that break I get every other weekend from my handful son’s, I never feel suffocated or as if they are too much to have around all of the time. I also feel that same way with my oldest, and only daughter, she is a joy to be around all of the time and even on her rough days, I don’t wish she wasn’t around. The presence of my children simply calms me, soothes me, makes me feel happy. There has yet to be another adult in this world that I can handle sharing my life with beyond one year. That’s just a fact.

Going into relationships or even upon meeting someone at first; I am honest in that I say I am a free spirit, I like change. I am that type of person who usually has a different new-to-me vehicle every year if possible. I also have moved a lot since losing my first home, prior to that home ownership, I moved at least once a year for various reasons. I remember when I signed the papers to my home and moved in, I started to question why did I even buy a home? I was a single Mom of one back then and knew I didn’t do well with being in the same place for too long. It’s just who I am and maybe has to to do with me needing more alone time to learn why I am that way. I enjoy analyzing myself and learning why I do the things I do. I then work on making it better, but I can’t make it better when I am feeling constantly drained of all happy energy.

I think the ultimate point I am trying to make here is that sometimes, some people are simply meant to be alone. I don’t mean forever. I am sure that each of us may have a special person out there, but I honestly enjoy being alone. I don’t mind it one bit. It gets lonely, sure. But what I am realizing, as I gain more female friendships, is that being alone isn’t all that rough. I would rather live alone than live with someone. I just don’t like sharing my world for long term.

Being in the same house with another adult is just too much for me. It brings on this feeling as if I am having the life choked out of me. The other odd fact I have found is that when I am a single Mom, living alone with three kids, I am better with finances than when I reside with another adult who has another income coming into the home. Go figure that one out? I haven’t figured it out.

I think time is necessary for me to truly come to a determination of what’s going on. I have spoken to a counselor and well he is pretty much in agreeance that due to me having a special needs child, it is going to be vitally important I have a partner {if I have one} that can fit into that. My middle child is going to require a lot of my attention and energy for the rest of my life. I need to be fully aware that I HAVE TO BE AT THE BEST OF ME in order to raise all three children, but specifically my special needs child. That is okay with me. I love my three children to the center of the Earth and back, I will always be their rock and love them unconditionally. Sadly, I just can’t ever feel that way for long term about another adult. I love people and I care for them but I am simply better off doing things alone. The rhythm gets messed up with another adult in the house, it really does and then I get off balanced which them makes the kids act amuck and then my life just spirals downward.

I refuse to do this. I need to rise above. I need to stop worrying about others and realize what is ultimately best for ME. For what is best for ME will be best for my KIDS and while change is always difficult, if it’s a positive change and I remind myself I JUST DO BETTER LIVING ALONE, then things will look up eventually. I don’t feel like I am broken, but maybe I do still have some things to work on with myself, and need time alone, living alone to work through them. I am okay with that, every day is about building on yourself …. and I can’t let my fear of hurting someone’s feelings keep me from being the best I can be and doing what I need to do to keep the best of me.

Many won’t understand, honestly most never do. But I believe that’s because most people I know don’t live life to ensure they are meeting their deepest inner happiness OR they were blessed to have met their perfect soul mate and couldn’t imagine life without them. I haven’t been there yet. I thought it was so, but again, after a year, it never sticks. And that says I need to work on me again, but first I need to place myself in a positive parenting position to ensure all of my hard work as a parent is going to continue to pay off. I have to be honest though, this time around, I am witnessing that a comfort zone has been approached and so I am seeing the person I am with in a whole new light, while I’ve tried to explain it to him, he doesn’t fully see where I am coming from. I do feel it’s not a 100% my issue, I think that I am me from day one and sometimes the people I meet end up being a far off version of who they portrayed themselves to be and since we moved in together at about six months of dating, this happened quicker than later.

I think most people need to follow that two year rule, 1 year to get to know each other and a 2nd year to figure out if that real version of the person works for your world. I don’t ever take enough time to remember that rule …. but I can’t live in sadness, anger and fear because I don’t want to hurt anyone, don’t want to be judged. I don’t mean judged by outsiders, either, I mean by family members. I have yet to live an adult life they seem to support EVER, except for a couple super close family members. I have to let go that I am not the person they want me to be and if they truly love me then being here, supporting me and my kids would be in the best interest of things. I can’t change others and others can’t change me – let’s learn to love and accept people for their honesty and commitment to being 100% whole inside and happy, whether you “approve” or not.

 

“Image courtesy of moggara12 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

 Are Some People Simply Meant to be Alone?

Has Spring Actually Sprung?

My backyard is starting to have some brown grass show through the snow that was dumped upon us over this long Winter season. Slowly but surely I am realizing that maybe, just maybe we do have a backyard. I am really loving the warmer days, mind you today has a bit of a chill undertone to it, but I will take it. It’s still the 40′s which is way better than the many days of below zero we had to endure this past Winter in New Hampshire.

With Spring time here, or coming slowly anyways, many are getting that itch to start cleaning and to find some household item deals. Maybe you are on the look out for some fun things to do outside after Winter had you all cooped up. If you subscribe to Living Social by clicking the link below, you will get email alerts with deals and specials for your Spring and Summer season. I recently saw a fabulous hotel deal for Maine, but couldn’t take advantage of it just yet. I have to wait til we get a little bit closer to June.  So click on over to Living Social and sign up to get email alerts for fabulous deals, great way to boost the spirits as the weather climbs to meet our warm weather temperature preference.

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As a first time home buyer, my fiance is thinking about ways to save on electricity. This is why I feel like sharing the following information with you all, because I firmly believe saving on our electric bill can be a somewhat easy task to complete. Save up to 70% in some cases with solar power, simply click the banner below to visit HomeSolar 101 and see how solar power may be able to save you some cash.

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Saving money and getting deals for the Spring season are so vitally important. I know I have a huge pile of yard sale items that is awaiting for our snow to melt and a nice warm weekend to unveil for our locals to stop by and name their price. I cannot believe how quickly children outgrow toys, clothing and accessories. Surely a yard sale will give us some extra money too, which is always fun to have on hand!

What are some things you start doing once Spring has Sprung?

 Has Spring Actually Sprung?

The Woes of Home-buying

This is it! You found the home of your dreams, you have already been pre-approved for a line of credit and this home fits right into that budget you were allotted for a home. The excitement starts and you are ready to start your new adventure in this new home.

Then it hits you. All of the paperwork. The endless questions about where your money is going here and there. The endless questions of what money is coming into your accounts. The lender is watching your accounts like a hawk, because after all, they used to give loans to any Tom, Dick or Harry that walked in so now it’s this strict process to get a home, unless you have amazing credit. For those who have decent credit but are looking to buy a home for the first time, be forewarned that you will wish to give up on the process part way through it.

Once the home has been chosen. A price has been agreed upon. The lender is all set up and ready. You will attend a closing. At the closing you will sign your life away, so-to-speak, and walk away owning your home! An asset, something that you can do anything you want with, so as long as the town regulations allow you to do so. A place to call home without fear of being evicted because the landlord is no longer renting their property or wishes to sell the place to a new landlord person who then wishes to clean out the property to make room for upgrades or such. This is your home. All YOURS.

What people may not tell you, that I am going to tell you – the woes of home-buying:

  • You are now the maintenance guy, it’s up to you to pay for or handle all issues that arise in the new home.
  • You are now the man in charge, it’s up to you to ensure you are paying the mortgage, property taxes, water bill if applicable, town sewer bill if applicable, home owners insurance and other portions of your financial commitment.
  • You will have a couple of years trying to determine the budget for your new home; cost of heating, cost of water, cost of sewage, cost of anything else that is now your responsibility that wasn’t yours when you rented.
  • It has been said to take a good year or two to come up swinging after a home purchase, but after that first couple of years, you will be proud that you made it!

So while home-buying does have a lot of new responsibilities and issues that can arise as you work to figure out the new budget plan for a owned home versus a rental property, the end result is that as long as you work hard and stay focused, this will be a place where memories are made forever.

 The Woes of Home buying

I Think Kids Are Suffering from Cabin Fever

We have been hit and hit and hit again by snow storm after snow storm. This Winter has made up for our past couple not-so-snowy winter seasons here in New Hampshire. I knew it was coming. Everyone knew it was coming. That doesn’t mean we like it any more than we would if we weren’t expecting to be hit hard by snow.

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The yard, at one point, must have had about five feet tall snow in it. The kids did enjoy a few outings in the snow on warmer days but for the most part, we are all sick of the snow. It seems we now have an abundant amount of energy stored up from winter strangling us a bit longer and that, with kids, needs to be released in some form.

My kids have decided to release their cabin fever energy with tag. Inside. The house.

Our middle bedroom in the home has two doors, so the kids essentially run around and around and around. They laugh, they play, they tag each other and occasionally they let us adults play along too. While this version of indoor tag is mildly amusing and makes me smile seeing the kids getting along and laughing, it is also making me realize just how much my kids are suffering from cabin fever.

I know. I know. Many of you will say get outside, but it’s turned back to being cold and on the days it’s warm, it’s too wet outside. It’s as if even our recent warmer days are not sufficient to melt the snow away, leaving us with rain soaked clothing, feet and heads. Not fun. Kids hate that. Adults hate that.

So I beg of you Mother Nature, please release us from this winter snow that has us couped up for far too long … we all need to get outside and get some exercise. It’s a little much to play tag inside with three kids when you have a pretty small home.

 I Think Kids Are Suffering from Cabin Fever

Mama I was Soooo Embarrassed

This whole thing with my middle child not being on medication is a fun ride, seriously. I am enjoying getting to know my son all over again and the person he has become at age 7 is not the one I remember at age 4, but that’s to be expected with any child. I love that I am able to work from home and be that person who picks my kids up from school, because it allows my children to vent directly to me upon release from school while their emotions about their day are still fresh in their mind.

Lately, my son Aj has been coming home with various emotional concerns. Sometimes he is super happy because they did something totally awesome or he accomplished something he hadn’t accomplished before and he is  beaming with pride. Aj knows and loves that I respond with a proud tone when he has accomplished something that makes him proud. Aj thrives on tones and emotional responses from people; be that positive or negative.  One day a child in music class hit Aj, I had a 7 year old’s version of the story so I had to make a couple phone calls to figure out what had happened. Within just a few short moments I had determined what occurred and the next day Aj met with the guidance counselor and the other child who made peace with each other. It was a misunderstanding or accidental scenario that Aj was just sharing with me as he was sad in the moment but he recouped quickly.

I didn’t feel Aj was being bullied. I felt that something happened but had to get to the bottom through speaking with the adults involved and it came to be that the other child was simply being a bit exaggerated in their movements during music class which in turn accidentally collided with Aj. No purposeful harm was done. Case closed.

Moving on, another time Aj stated that he was soooo embarrassed because he was grouped with all girls in music class. To a young boy, being grouped with girls is a nightmare. I guess. I had to refrain from giggling because honestly the way Aj explained it was hilarious to me and also hearing Aj say he was embarrassed was new to me. This is a child who in the past has never become embarrassed.

Then we have had the scenario where Aj wanted a specific reading partner, he had asked a few people and those few people said no. Aj is not accommodating to change in most instances, so if he had his heart set on a specific person to be his partner I know him well enough to know that if that didn’t happen, he would be sad or frustrated and refuse to work. This happened recently. Aj had asked a few friends if they would be his reading partner and all had said no. There were other people left who didn’t have a partner but Aj didn’t want to be their partner. So Aj spent the remainder of that reading partner time sulking. This is something new. This is also a life lesson that Aj needs to comprehend, not every child will want to be your partner. Not every friend will want to do something with you. That’s okay.

I am having a difficult time teaching my son life lessons because of his different view of life and the world around him. Aj sees black and white; and he isn’t very flexible with changes. This means if Aj has his heart set on something being one way and that one way is impossible to have happen that he can break down in sadness or frustration. We are working on ways to handle Aj, for now I am doing the best I can to explain life to him in a way that maybe he can understand.

This  post is brought you by me because I read a post called Is it Bullying that reminded me about these little stories that have happened recently for my son. I think far too may parents want to jump on the anti-bullying train, when in reality some scenarios really are life lessons that kids need to learn. As adults we know not everyone is going to like us, but it’s not okay for another adult to harass us or call us names; that is the same simple concept we need to teach our children.

 Mama I was Soooo Embarrassed