I am Nervous for My Children

As I watch over the world today, sitting here watching the Today show hearing about a man who complained in a tweet and almost got kicked off a Southwest Flight for complaining in a tweet. Then there are other news stories where someone tweeting or posted on FB something that “made someone uncomfortable” and had backlash for it or were disciplined in some way. What is our world coming to? We can no longer speak our complaints publicly aloud for all to read or hear? Why is it that so many want to make sure that everyone is comfortable?

Let’s face it people, we are not meant to feel comfortable with all situations and all scenarios. People are not always going to think you are nice. People are not always going to like you. While this may upset you or make you feel uncomfortable, who cares. I face these feelings on a regular, while I usually attract really sweet people, there are occasions where I am confronted with negative, mean people and that’s okay. I don’t whine and cry or tell on them because I am uncomfortable, if I am uncomfortable I need to get over it.

There is a fine line between a scary situation where you feel threatened for a valid reason and you feel uncomfortable but need to simply get over it. I do not feel that we should be taught to shut up and not speak our feelings and opinions. We are allowed to have those feelings and opinions, we own them. Get over it!

Why am I nervous for my children?

I am raising my children in a semi old fashion way as far as thinking patterns go and speaking up for their own selves. I have and still am raising my children to think for their own self. I want my children to develop their own opinions and feelings based on who they are as individuals. Sure, they are children, but you know what?! They are also human beings that need to learn how to be well rounded, respectful, healthy opinionated adults while under my supervision so as to allow me to lead them properly.

I teach my children to speak up for how they feel, I also teach them that while they may feel one way about something that not everything they dislike is going to change. Allowing my children to have a voice, teaching them to speak up and feel for their own self really creates this self confident, independent personality that I feel is important to have in society as an adult. I watch so many adults struggle with these type of things; self confidence, independent thinking and the ability to speak up for their own self. I do not wish to raise children that lack those skills and in all honesty, I have three well spoken children who can eventually tell me what is on their mind.

Sure, sometimes they don’t speak it properly, I am famous for telling them to “please watch your tone and body language”, because that is all part of me teaching them how to express themselves properly. Many read body language before they hear what you are saying, so I am working on the whole package to ensure my children will be adults who speak up and do not ever allow themselves to be treated poorly. Ever.

The Future Looks Scary

I normally don’t catch the news, it’s odd that I happened to be able to watch it today, but every chance I do have to watch the news, I just get sad. I get upset. I get frustrated. We are not living in the same society I grew up in, and it’s not a better society than I grew up in either. I watch adults turn into sheep, we tend to complain and whine but don’t have the actions behind our complaints to make change. I watch as our society starts to turn into this socialist community almost; where our rights are being slowly stripped away and our ability to speak our opinions aloud are being washed away.

I wonder how my children will be viewed when they become adults. Will my children keep these skills I taught them for so many years? Will my children be suppressed to not be these independent, self confident people when they become adults? I sure as heck hope not. I can only hope that we see a positive direction soon, because I cannot handle watching rights being stripped away day after day while we, the current adults in society, allow that to happen.

We the people need to continue to raise our children to be independent thinkers, self confident people and we the people can only do that through being the proper parental example. Fight back. Speak up. Feel something and let that feeling guide you into making change happen!

 

Be Sure not to Confuse “This Doesn’t Work” with “Difficult” #dating #blendedfamily

So you met the person of your dreams. You spend a year or maybe less sulking up the love, affection and happiness that comes with most new relationships. Then it happens. Your kids and their kids have to meet at some point, they all get along great. The kids adore each other. The two adults adore each other. Parenting techniques were discussed beforehand and things were seeming to blend together well.

Then it happens.

Things don’t seem so easy anymore. The situation appears to be something that you didn’t realize it was.

Blended families are difficult. You are essentially combining two different families together under one roof. Two parents, who probably don’t parent the same exact way, and two sets of children who were parented differently. Something has to give and communication has to become stronger than ever before.

The key to any relationship, especially a blended family one, is communication as well as respect, trust and honesty.

I think when times get tough, people just walk away. Since so many talk about marriages failing because people give up too soon, often times couples will beat their relationship to death and in turn dislike each other for it. When a relationship hits difficult times you need to take into consideration a lot of variables; specifically what your long term goals are as a couple and individual.

I can’t stress enough the importance of knowing what your own personal goals are as a parent and human being. This will play a key role in whether or not the relationship troubles are simply difficult times or most certainly, without a doubt something that isn’t going to work in the long haul.

Stay true to yourself. Do not allow any relationship to make you lose who you are. There is always room for negotiation on some subjects and scenarios, but never should you have to negotiate to a point of being broken.

Be aware of the other person’s responses to parenthood trials and tribulations, as well as your own. Do they match up? Are you on a simlar page or are you two so far apart that a light has shined down saying “this isn’t going to work?”.

No one else can tell you what is right for you and your relationship, you are the only person living in those walls with this other adult and their child(ren). The decision comes down to you knowing yourself inside and out.

If you have weighed all variables and found they are not playing a factor in this feeling of difficult times and really truly feel that this person’s parenting style or lack there of are not a good fit for both you and your children’s future, then you need to leave.

Relationships are difficult, but not all relationships we get into were meant to be. Take each failed relationship as a new learning curve in life. Learn from the experiences and never be afraid to be a single parent for as long as it takes to be the parent your children need. Your kids well being is dependent upon your well being both emotionally and physically.

If you don’t take care of yourself and make big boy or big girl decisions that matter, then how will ever expect your children to lead a fully happy life both as children and adults? You are the example to those little ones and they can pick up when things are not working out for their parent.

As a recap – Difficult means communication and realistic negotiations can mend the situation for the long haul in love and life. This doesn’t work means no amount of communication and realistic negotiations can work to rectify things.

Listen. Speak. Discuss.

Make a decision.

Move on.

Learn from the experience.

The Time I had The Most Blog Traffic

Since blogging is what I do for a living, there are times I revisit my traffic analytics. I like to see when I had the most traffic on my blogs, for what reason and make business decisions on what topics I may address based on the data I collect. With that being said, the one time in all my five years of blogging, that I had the most insane traffic was … during my divorce.

Seriously.

It’s no surprise to me that with today’s hit television series being that of reality based life, with a tad bit of insane drama added in to make the plot a bit more entertaining, that my divorce scenario fed so many interested souls. The funny thing is? My divorce wasn’t really dramatic, my feelings and rationalization of whether it was the best decision or not was a bit to read and follow along with. I can say it wasn’t an easy decision by any means.

But my divorce had no drama.

So what in the world compels people to read about other people’s sorrows? I can get insane traffic during a so-to-speak hardship time in my life but when I am sharing utter happiness and spreading joy, it’s as if I can hear crickets on my blogs. Don’t get me wrong, I still have good traffic stats, I enjoy the readers who stop by to comment or click an ad here and there. I love seeing those in my analytic stats, but I am left wondering …

What Makes People Read Blogs

What is it that people thrive to read on blogs?

I read blogs. What compels me to continue to read on a site or an article I clicked over to? Is it drama? No, not really. Is it personal stories? Yes, usually. Is it giveaways? Well, duh, I like to win.

What keeps me reading a blog?

The passion behind the words. You know and I know when someone is writing fluff just to get a rise out of someone and gain some traffic to their site to earn some ad revenue and negative exposure to “keep em talking” and in turn, keep that blog running financially. You know and I know when someone is writing from the heart. Words that speak to you. When you read their blog posts, you can just feel their passion in the words and the rhythm that they publish their posts.

Passion is what sells people. I am convinced. It’s not drama, not negative scenarios; it’s plain and simple – passionate bloggers who write during their most emotional time of a situation are what bring readers in.

We are humans, we enjoy feeling something when interacting with others – that goes for reading blogs, talking in person or over the phone.

So there you have it, I am convinced readers keep coming to blogs because they can feel something when reading that person’s blog post, whether good or bad is irrelevant, we simply like to feel that passion & emotion behind the written words.

Twitter, Facebook and Gmail Passwords are at Risk

Apparently there was this big hack and many passwords for Gmail, Twitter and Facebook have been leaked. This means on my fine Friday evening, I am not sitting here getting my reviews for Happily Blended written up, no I am sitting here telling you all so that you can change your passwords!

I don’t care if you have no “sign” of someone else knowing your login credentials but read this post and tell me you don’t feel as if changing passwords is worth it?

I just did it and you can too. It was a pain in the arse too, changing online then on my iPhone because you know, they can’t make this easy in our technologically driven world. It’s no more to just do something on the web over the laptop but you also have to ensure all of your other devices have been updated to new login credentials.

So get on it .. go make sure that your Facebook, Gmail and Twitter accounts are protected and safe! Change your passwords.

Oh .. and afterwards – go enjoy your weekend.

A Little Thursday Morning Fun Video

Since owning an iPhone one app I have been playing with is Vine. I don’t know how all of those on there edit videos to be totally #vinecool but this is my attempt to make a funny about working from home …. I uploaded it to YouTube as well as Vine, this is the YouTube version ..

Have a wonderful day everyone!