Check out my latest update in video format regarding my recent weight loss, getting fit and healthy status updates. I am proud to say I am down 14lbs and fit into a pair of Low Rise Boot Cut jeans I was unable to fit into for a long time now. Previously unable to even pull them over my thigh area … so I did a little dance around the kitchen all happy to be getting fit and losing weight!
There are many people who put out there that they are a single mom and it works for them. The thing with stating outright to the whole wide world that you are a single mom is that it can backfire. There are certainly some pros and cons to using the “single mom” status and I am laying them out for you:
Some people look down upon the single mom status, citing you are a welfare person just because you are a single parent.
Some people think that you may be a scatter brain, too busy to take on work for their firm because after all you don’t have a partner to pick up the parenting slack if you took on more working hours.
The whole wide world now knows that you are single, opening the doors up to random people hitting on you; because after all you are single so surely you want or need to find a partner.
The whole wide world now knows there is a big possibility that you also live alone with kids; do I even need to mention the not so good outcomes from that scenario?
Some people will admire you for your strength and courage to raise your child or children alone.
Those who are single parents will be compassionate with you and understand just how strong a single parent can be when forced to raise the child(ren) alone.
Some firms know the power of a Mom and want to have a single mom on their team for they bring dedication, motivation and strength like no other; after all it’s one parent who has to financially support the kids.
It opens the doors to interact with other single parents online that you may not normally run into had you not shared the fact that you are a single Mom.
What are some pros and cons you can think of to sharing your single Mom status to the world?
I tend to drive people crazy with my fly by the moment sort of personality, but honestly that is what works for me. You see, I have always had anxiety, some years are better than others while other years are worse, it all depends upon what’s going on in my life. It seems when I am under a high amount of pressure my anxiety kicks in quickly making it semi-difficult to deal with life without that tension taking over from my anxiety disorder.
I do not take medicine for my anxiety, I used to, but haven’t in many years. I tend to find resetting my mind to focus on the moment rather than the future makes it easier and allows my anxiety to stay low key. When I get asked to go to various events it’s extremely difficult for me to plan that far ahead. In the moment I am all about it, sounds great, but then as I start to think about what will be going on in a couple of months I worry if I will be able to keep the commitment and my mind just goes into the “what if” mode making it difficult to live my day to day life.
This is why I am more of a fly by the moment kind of person, planning requires me thinking too far ahead and if there’s one thing I have found out living this life I lead, it’s that nothing is forever and you have to live in the now. Planning too far out in advance means I have to know what’s going on with the kids, myself and others in life which honestly, is never consistent enough to plan around. I feel more stable flying by the moment, I like surprises and I like just hopping in the car taking a long drive to wherever we end up rather than having to have a destination.
My destination in life is to simply be happy, love life and cherish each moment I have with my family. Why start planning now and get all worked up over the things that don’t matter? I say live life whatever way makes you happiest, because when you are the happiest, everyone around you can feel that happy energy & in turn they become happier, including your children.
As a parent I know that it’s extremely important to be that safe haven for your child, there are a lot of dangers in the world, there are a lot stressful situations that will come up in life and it’s the parents job to be that child’s person of trust to come to when times are difficult.
What happens when a child comes to a parent with a tough situation yet is faced with the reality that there is little the parent can do to fix the situation? I like to think with every situation there is a solution, however, the solution isn’t always immediate when it needs to be immediate.
It’s so heartbreaking to know that you, as the parent, are not able to just swoop in and fix the issues that need to be fixed, why? Well because there is a process and sometimes that process makes your child feel as if they are not worthy, that what they have confided in you and other trusted adults wasn’t worth a thing. It’s hard to be in a situation like this but one things for sure, if you are that parent, the trusted source your child turns to when times get rough, remember to stay strong, pray and have faith that in good time things will get better.
You see I don’t keep up to date on this blog as often as I should, not sure why. Maybe it’s because I usually only write on this blog when I have something to say and am passionate about the topic, there are a few things that have been on my mind:
If you do not live in my home, live with my children and see first hand what we do to work with them, then don’t judge. I won’t judge you do not judge me or act as if YOU KNOW all the answers, because that is just plain WRONG to do.
Give advice only. Advice on all of life situations, including parenting is warmly welcomed. I enjoy another parents opinion and yes even from parents who parent in a way I never would, just do not PUSH IT ON ME as if you know all. What works for one parent & child may not work for another parent & child .. period.
My son has surgery on Thursday so I am a little nervous about that.
I am annoyed with many people, moody and emotionally. Hopefully this just means my period is coming. Hot and cold flashes and moody behavior is driving me batty and I am sure it’s driving those close to me batty too.
My two year old is lucky he is so darn cute, he is a pain in the butt some days but he has quickly learned to stay in a time out and now we just have an occasional bedtime issue with him.
I am not a firm mean Mama, it is not in my nature. Patience and compassion has worked for me and my children. For some reason this week I just want to bite off the heads of anyone who tries to tell me what to do and that they know best. Seriously …. come to my house for a FULL MONTH, attend counseling and watch in a day of my life … then at that point MAYBE just MAYBE I will take your advice as set in stone.
ON a positive note – I have enjoyed hearing how other parents deal with children, because I do enjoy finding out what other parents do that works for them because after all, parenting is a learning experience & if we all share wisdom with each then maybe combining a little of this person’s technique with the other persons technique will equal a positive reaction in the household.
Have a terrific Tuesday … I am off to hide in a closet until this moodiness disappears!
Okay all you single Moms or once upon a time single Moms I think you know what I am talking about … a single minded attitude in my own words is …
One who has raised their child for a period of time, alone, whether other parent is involved or not & has had the luxury of doing whatever they want, whenever they want when the child is away with the co-parent. One who has set their own house rules and set forth their own personal values they wish to teach their child without another person having any say under your roof.
I have this bad attitude, it’s not bad in the way one would think the term bad attitude to mean but having a single minded attitude when in a relationship could cause some clashes of heads, otherwise known as head butting. Not the head butting my sons do to me on a daily basis, that hurts but is mean to be their funny way of bonding with mom, the head butting that can cause anger, hurt feelings and a feeling of lack of appreciation. I can not help the single minded attitude that comes into play once in a while, for I often feel like a single mom and let me tell you what I have always been happier as a single parent. It’s like I thrive to have that control and that freedom, but I don’t believe the single minded attitude I have is all about control & freedom, it is more so about the fact that I already feel single most days so why not be single.
Don’t get me wrong I am not saying because I have this attitude it would make it okay to walk out on my family in any way, I am simply opening up a discussion about this single minded attitude and getting a little bit more about me out there. I feel there are a lot of parents who struggle with this attitude who now find themselves in a relationship, but there are many who have lost that attitude along the path we call life. I wish I had lost that attitude but I do not feel 100% satisified, something is missing in my current lifestyle that makes me scream to be a single mom. I fear I am a person who needs constant focus, determination and with relationship issues that are not going to be fixed, I find myself saying screw it and wanting to just do what I need to do to be happy. I know that when I am happy my children are happy, it is so true that saying “Happy parents make Happy Children” I have seen it 1st hand many times.
Having a single minded attitude can certainly get you into heated conversations with your loved ones, whether it be a partner, spouse or family member. I know first hand this attitude may make you feel wonderful but can make others feel horrible or cringe.
So do you have that single minded attitude and how did you get rid of it? OR do you still have it and struggle on how to make that attitude work in a relationship?