My Previous Attempts at Dating

having a Period SucksI have dated before, they lasted about three months. I met this one guy and he was super cool, we had a grand time hanging out and it was fun while it lasted. The guy wanted to move in way too fast for me, he wasn’t a father of his own children and well he also drank a lot. When I am around alcohol too often I will drink too often, it’s simply something I am aware of about myself ever since I got my DWI when I was 18 years old. Drinking is fun, I love to drink, however, there is a time and place for it. I have zero interest in drinking all night long to wake up and attempt to work while also taking care of my children; it’s just not a good scenario and reminds me of the book “Best Kept Secret” where the Mom had a drinking problem but she drank all of the time.  Another issue with this dating experience was that he had no children of his own; I do not care who you are but if you have never had your own children then you sometimes fail in the parental advice category. It seems, from my experience, that if you have never had your own child that you are full of all the “what I would do” scenarios and answers but honestly, again from experience, your mind is totally different after you have given birth or are raising your own children. That dating experience was a fail but we are still somewhat friends, rather acquaintances.

Then there were other people who I had met and it went no where. It seems men are either too far away and over look certain things that they really had on their list of “no nos” just for me which means it never works out or men just disappear.. I also disappear too. I think back to one dating experience and this guy and I never really talked about anything really important. I didn’t know a whole lot about him yet I adored him. I didn’t know exactly how long he had been single, hell I didn’t even know many if any of his hobbies, things that maybe made him “tick”. Yet with other men I have known within just hours of  a conversation every single detail about them.

After a few failed attempts at dating that idea went out the window and eventually wasn’t even a though in my mind. Sure I got lonely and I longed to have a conversation with someone other than my children but dating just seemed like it would take too much effort. So from meeting men who are jealous and possessive as well as looney in wanting to move in too quickly to meeting those who latch onto me with false hopes of something being more; I have met them all and now am just ready for that special someone to fall into my world and make it complete some day….

 

Plenty of Fish vs Match.com In my Experience

When I first decided that I would put myself out there on a dating site, I went with the free one, PlentyofFish.com. I have used this website in past years without much success, but figure maybe I will give it a shot this time. One thing I have learned from my long-term single friends was that you should not waste your time engaging in a conversation with someone who isn’t even the right fit for you. Basically, why spend time getting to know someone, for example, that wants to have children some day if you do not want to ever have children {or more children}. That is a waste of their time and yours.

Since PlentyofFish.com is free, I figured what the heck. Let’s give this a try and see what I see. So far I have only seen a bunch of people who 1) don’t match what I would even think about settling down with 2) are locals who I’ve known a long time & enjoy just friendship with them & 3) POF seems to attract people who are simply looking for a piece of ass.  My replies to this are; I do not need the internet dating site POF to find sex, I can find that if I really wanted it randomly anywhere outside my home.  Random conversations that seemed somewhat interesting on POF turned into dead air when we ran out of interesting topics. Then other conversations ended before they even began because they were completely inappropriate for me.

Match.com was my other choice for a dating site, I have heard great things about this site and I would only assume since you have to actually pay to do much more than wink at the person on the site, maybe – just maybe – there is someone out there seeking a more serious “get to know each other” situation. I decided to pay for a one month time period only on Match.com.  This is about $30, more money than I should spend, but hey I rarely spend money on myself and figured I deserved to give myself one month of seriously seeking new people.

Since Match.com is a paid site it seems I am watching as more suitable people contact me, do not get me wrong there are still those dead air conversations, those people simply seeking a piece of ass, but more importantly there are more of those who are seeking a real long term commitment to the right person. That is the key phrase “right person”, Match.com seems to have a wide range of people who are seriously wanting that “perfect for them partner in life” and that my friends is what I would ultimately enjoy having.  Match.com may not have a huge range of men that I drool over or are highly interested in, but they do have a couple that seemed interesting.

Basically in a nutshell, if someone were to ask me if I recommend a free dating site over a paid dating site; I would honestly have to tell them to try to invest time and at least one month payment into the paid dating site. I would also recommend simply setting up a free profile first on the paid dating site, that way they can surf and look around without having wasted money if no one on that site seems interesting at all.

**the dating experiences on the websites noted are based on my own experiences, obviously not everyone will have the same experiences I am having or have had.

I Decided to Put up Dating Profile

I honesty was not going to put up any dating profiles for many reasons; I am extremely busy, I have tried the dating scene with a total fail and well I am just not 100% sure how to date in the real world. I have always fallen hard and fast for one person, never been good at dating people, getting to know them, basically what I think of as courting. I do not want to latch on to one person just yet, I love the idea of having someone to go out to dinner, movies, events on the weekends my kids are gone but the idea of latching on to a full time commitment, well honestly, I am not so sure I want that.

I obviously have not found the right for me person and I am finally at a point in my life where I am perfectly okay with being home alone. Sleeping in a silent house with no kids and no other adult around works just fine for me. I do not feel that need of having to have someone around, do you know that in my years of having had a boyfriend, I have never felt that okay with living without a partner? I am going to enjoy this feeling and take full advantage of it, but since I do not get out of the house very often, I decided the best way to try to meet new people would be to put up a dating profile.

I started with Plenty of Fish and OH MY GOSH, you can not pay me enough to deal with most of the men on that site. The typical “where are you from” question gets quickly answered with “ummm did you even read my profile”. I have a height limit of being taller than me, and it’s usually a 5’9″ or 5’10″  height limit at minimum for a man I wish to get to know. I get men who are below that height still contacting me, I am just like really? I do not even reply to these messed up messages because I do not have the time for idiots. No offense men, but some of you really need to read because asking such silly questions or contacting a woman who is clearly not interested in some of what you have on your profile makes you look like 1) you are not taking dating seriously and just want to get laid or 2) you are just dumb.

I now know what my best friend in Texas went through when being on dating sites. This is nuts. So I have my profile out there on a couple of dating sites, just to see what I see or who sees me, maybe I will make some new great friends. I am not actively looking for a full time partner, I am simply randomly looking and seeking friendship. If that right person came along obviously I would want them to scoop me right up but for now, I am really, really enjoying being alone. Even if I have lonely moments, this is a great new feeling and I refuse to give up on my new found independent nature for just anyone.

More dating site stories to come … seriously …. you can not pay me enough to deal with some of these messages. Hopefully you find humor in them and enjoy traveling along as I share some of my online dating experiences. One rule I have is not to blog about relationships, so I may not divulge into that part if I were to find someone, but I will have fun venting about these dating site messages I get for now.

Funny Rotten eCards for Single People #dating

A twist on why buy the cow if you can have the milk for free …

So men playing you? Be sure to remind them that you are the coach …

Sometimes that night in shining armor is not really what he seems …

Now remember men and woman, dating is not all it’s cracked up to be. Nothing gets me more than trying to get to know the real person when the internet makes it possible for them to be whoever they wish to be!

Good luck for those out there dating, hopefully you had a little laugh today with these ecards.