Actions Speak Louder Than Words

It is very true that actions can speak way louder than words. For instance, you can tell your kids you are appreciative of things they have accomplished but it means way more to them to get a big gigantic hug or have you do something special as a way to say congrats. Relationships with men or woman are no different, for me, I would much rather a person show me he loves me, cares for me, likes me than say it 100 times. Maybe it’s because I have heard how people “feel” far longer than I have seen it shown to me.

The issue with realizing that actions do speak volumes compared to three little words is that I am a person who has been told more than shown. So for example, if someone were to me show me that they care deeply for me, that I am truly important to them – it would make me feel great. And after all that is something I noted missing many years ago, but since I am a person who has been told how people feel without actions backing that up for so long, ever since I started dated as a teen, it would be a hard adjustment period for me I do believe.

The constant reminder to self would be needed that the actions of that person mean more than their words. That the fact that they take time to show me how they care means so much more. Love, life and relationships are such a hard part of this world and maybe that is why I spend most of my days making sure I don’t fall head over heels into some odd living situation again or some relationship just to be in one. I want real deal, the real feelings, a person who will do anything for me and I for them, because that is what being with someone is all about.

I want to know that he feels the same as I do, constantly waiting to hear from me, hoping their day is going well. I need someone who has their own life and ability to bring something more to my life; such as their own hobbies, parenting style or what not. It’s great when you meet that person for you, the one who can show you and tell you how they feel. That person who meshes well with all you have on your plate in life. That my friends, is what the dating world is all about. Do not settle. I settled before, and I refuse to ever, ever do that again.

Everyone in the dating world needs to realize that it’s best to be alone than to settle for someone who isn’t the right fit for you and/or your family unit.

To Those Who Have Judged Based on The Past

Dear those who have judged based on past mistakes,

I understand now why you have always judged for mistakes people have made in the past, for you have your own demons and mistakes that have not been faced.  I forgive you for not allowing me the chance to show you who I am today, the adult and mother of three. I forgive you and I understand, but that does not mean I will take time out of my day to spend with you.

I need to focus on what makes me happy within and helping those who can help themselves. You see, no one but you can fix those issues you hold so closely to your heart. No one but you can make the choice to love yourself and everyone around you. I wish I could make all of those demons and negative thoughts disappear from your mind and soul but alas that is not my job nor could I ever fix another person, so please do not expect others to fix those issues you hold close. You are strong and no matter how much you feel the judgement that is placed is worthy, I know it’s not worthy for I have seen the power of an individual who wants to change.

I have seen a person who has made the most awful mistakes you could even imagine but they chose to accept them as learning curves, and to realize they don’t wish to make those mistakes again. So those who still wish to judge another person based on their past or what others rumor to be true about them, why not take a moment and look in the mirror for I highly doubt you will truly see a perfect human being in that mirror and hopefully you will come to realize that everyone deserves a chance to live without judgement.

Much love,

A person who faces demons/mistakes head on

P.S. For those who allow judgement to rule their life, please remember that you are worthy of loving who you are .. no matter what paths you have been down in life. Chin up, back straight and walk with confidence for you are trying to be a better person and that is all we can do … is try!

One Fictional Mans Demise … The Power of an Evil Woman

This one woman has the super power human strength of ruining someone’s whole dating life forever. Yes indeed it is true. Apparently this woman is such an evil woman that many, many  years ago she ruined some poor souls life in such a way that this person will never be able to date again. I know this is hard to gulp down, because after all how can one woman do such harm to a man who spends his days sleeping around and smoothing over every female he speaks to?

I really do hope this woman realizes the super human strength she holds in her hands and heart to be able to destroy a person and make them evil for life. You see, if this woman did indeed “ruin” this man well then maybe, just maybe he should have or should now seek counseling services to get his brain and heart straight? That’s just my two cents.

I get that a man and a woman may fall head over heels in love so hard that when the poor couple ends up breaking up that the heart can feel lost for a long time and that indeed this man may feel like this woman ripped his heart out of his chest but at some point one would think both would move on, either with our without professional help.

I am a firm believer that no one person can completely destroy another person in such a devastating way that many years down the road he is still blaming this woman for his demise in relationships. The only way one can make another person feel or be ‘destroyed’ is if they allow that person to make them feel that way or they are due full of ego to realize they have issues that need addressing.

Now I am not sure if we can call this man’s attitude towards a woman a result of pride, as from what I can tell it seems to be he has extremely deep issues and must find the nearest route to a counselor or pyschiatrist and fast. Curious how many of his ‘beaus’ fall for this excuse, I personally would eitehr 1) laugh in this mans face or 2) tell him to go seek professional help so he can move on to lead a successful, happier life.

yes this is a sarcastic fictional article derived from my brain … enjoy!

Being Poor Isn’t Always Visible

Have you ever been so broke that you couldn’t pay for propane to heat the hot water or to use your stove? Have you ever been so out of cash that you had to live on kerosene being placed into your oil tank by the five gallon tanks you use for gas in your car or lawn mower? Have you ever lived on macaroni and cheese or worse yet Ramon noodles?

I have.

But no one knew.

I think the only person who has known the exact depths of my struggles I have faced since I first became a mother in 2002 is my father but beside him it’s really only me, because I don’t share this information with others. When I am facing a financial hurdle in my own life I rarely blog about it, talk about it or spread the news. Why? Because it’s far too personal and opens a door for pity.

I wouldn’t ever wish pity upon me, because I don’t even have any idea how to feel pity for myself or others. It’s not that I am not compassionate, I am an extremely compassionate person, it’s that I truly believe with a change in attitude directed such as the “I CAN DO THIS” attitude really helps make a change more so than dwelling in self pity or feeling pity towards another person.

With being poor, it’s not always visible and one can be poor one month and then bounce right back on track the next month while others may stay poor for an extremely long period of time. When a person is out of luck financially they don’t need your pity, they don’t need handouts because if they went from being completely self sufficient to needing help – handouts can usually make them feel worse.

What a person needs who is hard on their luck is some human compassion, prayers if that be your way of helping and some positive thinking. Maybe you know someone who has a business or a skill and they are having financial issues, one way to help this person would be to spread the word about their skill and help them gain clients to increase their income.

There are ways to help those down on their financial luck without giving handouts or feeling pity. Let’s try to help another person this year, let’s not pity them, let’s not make them feel any worse, let’s work together as a community to help lift them up beyond this temporary state of financial hadrship!

Warning Signs of Abusive Relationship

I know all the red signals of a person who may be emotionally or psychically abusive. I can’t say I have been in many physically abusive relationships but I have had the pleasure of being emotionally abused as well as being the person who emotionally abused someone. You see back in the way past of my life I was a mean, evil person and that evil personality has stuck deep inside of me and only comes out to play if someone does me wrong in an abusive way or puts me down as a mother.

You see, I know all the signs because I used to be that person and I have known and still know many who are abusive in various forms. The red signals to me are not limited to the following:

  • A need to know what you are doing, where you are located at all times.
  • Snooping into your online accounts.
  • Accusing you of wrong doing over and over again without valid reasoning {this wouldn’t hold true as an example if you had done something for that person to not trust you 100%}
  • Constant degrading of your appearance, intelligence and similar.
  • Apologizes profusely for their actions yet the actions continue on later.

There are many ways to spot an abusive person, but I usually use the excuse of insecurity for a person who is abusive in some form. A man or woman who is constantly acting like they are better than you or constantly in fear of you leaving may mean they have some deep underlying psychological issues which will require some professional assistance.

Like I said, I used to be that insecure mean, evil girl. I started having sex at a young age and I grew beyond my years even before high school graduation. I have lived a rebellious, evil life in some ways while in other ways I have grown as a person due to those rebellious evil days. I have attended counseling in the past more than once, I have been on various anxiety/anti-depression medications in the past but what finally worked for me to realize I deserve better and so do other people is the day I started training my brain to think positive thoughts. Law of Attraction is something I just started learning about in the past year but for the past three to four years I had already been practicing Law of Attraction without realizing what it was.

No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship, please do not make excuses for someone who is this way! Do not minimize their behavior, hold them accountable and be certain not to ever think you are stuck and can not get out as there is so much help out there. I have personal first hand experience through my life as a child to know that everyone can get away from abuse and live a normal, happy life.

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No Sugar Coating & No Excuses

OMG if I have to hear one more person sugar coating something just to make someone feel better or making an excuse so that the person can feel better about a situation I am going to barf, yes BARF.

I think life is as simple as focusing on the good things, or focusing on a solution to a problem versus sitting & sulking or making excuses or telling someone something in a sweet way even though it isn’t the whole truth just to appease them. I mean seriously, when are some people going to say enough is enough and hold others as well as themselves accountable for their life, their actions and such?

I know … who I am to tell others how to live their life, I am not trying to be some person who tells others how to live and how to feel, we are all individuals and we all handle life in our own ways. The problem I see, and again, this is simply my blunt opinion, is that most people do not actually deal with a situation; they try to cover up the situation with pity, excuses and making light of the problem.

I spend time every day keeping my mind focused on feeling 100% certain of all decisions made, I debate back and forth, I question myself, I wonder about the future and the current situation, I think about the past situations, etc all to ensure that when my day is over that I know in my heart I have lived my life to the best possible way and made the best possible solutions to every problem without question.

I can tell you that I am not perfect, I have caught myself coming up with excuses before, having a moment of sadness nearing depression over situations. Life is beyond easy, but it is all about sucking it up and dealing with life. Deal with it &  move forward! The only way to make your life successful is to stop with excuses and stop trying to please other people. Life is way to short … live it to the fullest in your own amazing way!

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