Why Do Humans, Specifically Women, Over Analyze

It is always fascinating to me how we, humans, over analyze things. Men tend to not have this trait as often as females do; it seems men live pretty simply. Men know this is how it is and they go with it, again, not all men but a predominant amount of them seem to live life this way. Why is it then, that most females tend to second guess their own self? Why do we make an educated, heartfelt decision and then beat it to death with our over analyzing gene?

There is one theory that states woman have a better connection between thinking and speaking; this means most of us woman speak during our thought process. Women take the time to discuss their thoughts, where they are coming from and verbalize it. Men tend to think harder, ponder and then speak when ready. I am not sure if I feel either way is right or wrong, but I do think the fact that most women speak while going through the thought process can lead to over analyzing. Essentially men do the same thing, but no one is aware because they are not as vocal about it.

As it pertains to relationships, many women will analyze a man and the relationship because she has gone through experiences that led her to a path where certain things are unacceptable. Most women, at a certain age or stage in their life, realize what type of man will last long term with her. If that man exhibits a wide range of traits she sees as red flags, she will move on. NO questions asked, because her future  matters to her. That’s not to say men don’t do the same thing, women tend to think further ahead I feel than men who live in today.

I have held many conversations with men who admit that they haven’t really ever thought about tomorrow, they live in today and go day by day. As a parent, I have become a more proactive person; I live for today but I think about tomorrow in a productive, positive way. As a women and mother of three, I have certain needs that must be met as a mother as well as a women. Due to the fact that my middle child has special needs, I tend to analyze a lot of areas in my life. I need to ensure I am living for full happiness, as a whole, to ensure my children are progressing and thriving for their happiness as a whole.

Analyzing things helps me, as a woman and mother, to determine if my feelings are derived from hormones, stress or realistic expectations. Sadly, I can analyze something to death when I don’t like the outcome of my initial report, so to speak. I wonder why that is, why we question our thorough analysis of a situation? Can’t we have faith and confidence in our final decisions and reports?

I think experience and self worth plays a huge roll in how much we analyze something. I also think our gender plays a role. What I can say is this; I wish I would stop letting what other people feel get in the way with what I feel confident about for my future. I need to stand firm with all that is important to me, whether others agree, disagree or understand, at the end of the day all that matters is that I feel confident in my decisions. I am the one who has to live with my decisions, as well as my children, but my children usually can see me happier as I don’t make decisions lightly. When my children see me happier, they are happier. Period. Point Blank. That’s it.

I suppose my final analysis (being a woman and all) is that I believe women analyze things to death as a means to second guess ourselves based on experiences, the crowd we surround ourselves with and the simple fact that we get more flack than the men do when they  make decisions.

 

 

 

This Sums up What I have Said to my Fiance For Awhile now

I always tell my fiance that I don’t wish for him to change, I absolutely love him for who he is. I just see things within him, things he is capable of that clearly have not been seen by him as of yet. In the past year I have watched my fiance change in such a great way. He is more confident, he doesn’t stand for bull crap anymore and he is much happier than he was the first day I met him.

photo 2(1)

 

The Beauty of a Good Mother/Daughter Relationship

I don’t have to even explain how close my daughter and I are. My daughter is 11 and was born 10 days before I turned 21 years old. I knew from day one the type of relationship I wanted to have with my daughter …

Beauty of a mother and daughter relationship

I could go on and on about our relationship and closeness but it really comes down to the fact that I AM A PARENT. My daughter can look to me as a true guidance in life, I am the shoulder to lean on, the ear to listen and the hug to fall into when having a bad day. I am the one who holds her accountable and teaches her to learn from mistakes.

MOther daughter necklaces

You could almost simply say; I am her guiding light in this challenging world she is growing up in. In all reality, I don’t have to explain because the image above is the gift my daughter gave me this Christmas … I think that speaks volumes for our closeness.

Why Did I turn on the News?

Oh my gawd, it’s been a very long time since I have turned the news on and now I know why. While I enjoyed catching up on some local news that I had no clue about as well as seeing what the weather shall be ahead of time, there was nothing but sad, bad and negative coverage. What has our world come to?

We don’t want to test our own missiles because we don’t want to intimidate Korea? We don’t want to flex our muscles anymore, so basically the United States has sadly become a joke. While I am blessed and thankful to live in the “land of the free”, I cannot sit and watch the news because it seems we have lost our willpower to be that super power country. We the people need to stand up and demand that we become that once strongly united country. We can do this.

I fear the world my children will live in as adults is going to be that of a socialist country. One in that the government controls if you can sneeze and takes so much of my kids hard earned income that they barely can survive. We do not need to be dependent upon the government for common sense things. There are many ways to resolve problems in this world.

Here is what I think; I think that we the people need to come together, help each other. It takes a community to raise a child. What happened to neighbors having barbeque’s together, friendly laughter with kids running around outside? We have become lazy, electronically dependent and sadly some children don’t even know what it’s like to go outside and use their imagination to play outside.

The news made me very sad and all wound up at the same time. I realized I was getting all wound up about our country that I had to shut off the news. I couldn’t sit there and listen any longer. I want us to be that country of the people, the strong, the proud but it takes “we the people” to get it that way. I think that regardless of our political views and stance that we can all come together as a nation, a community of humans who care about the future generations to try to resolve issues, help each other and clean out the government in a way that makes them answer to us. After all, the government is suppose to answer to us, so let’s come together and stand strong.

It’s not about what you believe to be right versus wrong. It’s not about your personal views on the various political issues; it’s simply about a wonderful, free nation of people coming together to ensure that each of our views are heard and debated the way they should be in government. Not just favored by who has the most money invested.

I know we can do this, just nervous that it may take a civil war type situation to get things resolved. I don’t want war on our soil. I don’t want war to resolve things. We the People are better than that….use efficient communication alongside standing firm on what we feel is the right government. I don’t feel like we live in the world our fore fathers fought for, it’s sliding slowly into a socialist world and that scares the crap out of me.

Taking Too Much Help Could Make you Weaker

I always say that I will give anyone my time. I have so much time but not a lot of money so as I work to try to give back more, I look for ways to give back time that will in turn give money through my time to other people and organizations but then it dawns on me, am I giving too much? I believe that one can never give too much to the true needy in this world but what if you are the one who is needy in some ways and refuses to take help?

I am a stubborn pain the butt, I refuse help often, even if it’s just emotional support. I just am used to fighting and figuring things out – it’s what makes me stronger and makes me feel as if I am accomplished. There is nothing wrong in this world with wanting to do everything on your own and to mind your P’s and Q’s to keep a little peace around the world, but honestly? Sometimes, just sometimes you need to stand up and fight for what you are due.

Like half of bills? Yeah, that is a biggie. I am famous of having let people just not pay their half just to be rid of situations I got myself into. I am famous for allowing people to walk all over me at times.  I will help them until I can’t help them anymore and then I am drained; both financially and emotionally. I am feeling this lately, the lows from financial downs and emotional blues.

I just need someone to let up and give me a tiny break so that I can come back in 30 days with a WHAM, but alas, that is not how life works. Life doesn’t cut corners or give you breaks, after all if that were the case then I probably wouldn’t be as strong willed and determined as I am today. So keep fighting everyone, if you wish people would hand you more, think again, having too many hand outs will not make you a stronger, independent person but rather make you weaker and lazier if given too much too often.

I say work your hardest, never look back and forgive but don’t forget and you will eventually see so much success in your world, all in time. Give but not give so much that you are taking from your own family. Love but be guarded. Live and smile because when you smile so does the rest of the world!