Watching the kids roast marshmallows for smores….

Enjoying the sunshine beaming down on me while my feet are up in a chair…

And watching the ducks swim around in the pond, love watching their landing in particular…

Having family time on the weekends is what warms my heart the most but relaxing outdoors? The best pass-time ever!

I was on the telephone with my father having one our many normal conversations about how I am going to lose my mind one of these days and joking about all of the wonderfully challenging, but semi-funny, things my children have done that day when a Jeep pulled into my driveway. Mind you, I don’t ever have visitors so for someone to be pulling into my yard it’s either a delivery person, mail carrier or someone for the neighbors who pulled into my driveway quite by accident.

SO I am outside on the deck having a cigarette chatting away with my father, laughing and just making fun of my stressful moments that hit me daily when I forget I am even on the telephone with my father and start cursing and freaking out. Quite literally, freaking out verbally. I put my cigarette out in the butt can and proceeded to drop F bombs like I was a sailor and it continued on for a moment until sanity must have come into my mind and I said “oh I ordered dinner”.

Just like that I made my dad crack up and I cracked up at the same time. I was shaking, scared that some stranger was in my driveway, totally forgot I had ordered delivery food. I don’t like random people showing up, it drives me bonkers. My life is too hectic for pop in visits and so I usually do freak out when someone pulls in, but nothing like I did this particular day.

It came at a time when I was just telling my Dad that one of these days the boys Dad is going to come home with me sitting on a chair going “coo-coo, coo-coo”, apparently I proved that the mind is a bit frazzled these days, but thankfully it’s only me and my adult acquaintances and family that realize this for my children think I am always happy and never stressed out.  The kids may think I am a tad bit coo-coo but that’s just because I am a silly sort of Mama.

Needless to say, I need to start realizing and taking action when I need time away, so I am resolving now to ensure I get ME TIME more often so my mind can come back down to Earth and not climb so far up into the clouds that I do silly things such as freaking out on a delivery person.

No delivery person was hurt nor verbally harassed during this situation, they were still well inside of their vehicle pulling into a parking place in my driveway during my memory lapse.

Often I can be found referring to my family as “my happy chaos”. It is true, my household is high energy and it is true that we are usually smiling most times. Some moments, I want to rip my hair out of my head. Some moments, I want to laugh so hard I cry. Other moments, I am sad. Overall one thing is for sure, I am happy. Nothing has ever happened in my life, since being a Mom that makes me regret one moment of time spent with my children.

For me, no matter how much chaos is happening and no matter what else goes on to make me frustrated or sad, I am always happy inside about being mom. I am thankful I am the one my kids turn to, I am happy they have a place to feel confident and comfortable speaking their opinions and thoughts out loud. It’s the times when my kids are at their worst or upset and they turn to me to talk that I realize every waking moment of my parental “job” has been done right.

For when your kids can turn to you about anything, that is one true accomplishment to be proud of. Some day my kids will be teens with peer pressure and all sorts of tests in life, thankfully I have built that strong bond with my children all of their life. This means one day, when they are teens, they will know they can turn to Mama for calm, soft spoken advice, tips or just a hug if needed.

I happened upon this song on YouTube and it’s actually funny, a stay at home Dad rock song about being a stay at home Dad. Seriously, check it out …..

There are a lot of stay at home Dads these days and just thought this was rather cute! I mean I can relate as a mom too but how many of you are stay at home Dad’s can appreciate this song? What do you think Moms?

Oh the things I find on YouTube!

I lack the personality type to stand my ground with how I feel inside. I used to be so good at standing my ground and sticking up for what I knew to be best for my emotional well being but somewhere along lack of sleep and running hoops for my lovely children to have their special activities I got too tired to stand up for me.

The positive part of my life is that it works, sort of.  BUT if you talk to any of my close personal friends they will tell you it doesn’t work for me. Which is true. BUT I can’t seem to tell myself that in a way that helps me move forward & do something about it.

I tell myself that I am just too tired to make any logical decisions for myself. Sure I can parent and make decisions as a Mom in a logical way but when it comes to me and my emotions I just wonder if I make excuses to not deal with things.

I have so much on my plate already that I love and I just can’t handle one more decision to make. Not now. Maybe after the holidays I can but not now. So for now I focus on the awesome positive part of my life, I work from home to support my kids, I have more time for my kids and I get to enjoy the young years of all three children before they are teens and want nothing to do with me.