She stepped outside on a cool crisp day, the humidity was low but still the stickiness from it was in the air. The cool breeze and sweet Spring air went into her nostrils as she breathed in, as she exhaled she felt relaxed. The day must begin whether she wants it to or not. Time does not stand still even when one needs it to stand still just for a few moments longer.

Life is full of trying times, there are moments when we feel as if there is no where to turn, no one to discuss what’s inside of our own mind, fear that we will be judged or worse yet shun for our thoughts of wishing for more or not wanting some of what we have. Human nature is funny, we try to teach our children to not judge and to be there for others. We teach our children to be kind, be honest and love one another.

She stands outside in the middle of the huge lawn wondering what she will do if she has to make a serious decision. She wonders where her strength comes from, for no matter how many times she has to make a difficult decision it is her strength that keeps her moving forward. The children know that she is mom and she will do everything in her power to ensure they are happy & healthy but what these children do not realize is that she sometimes questions if being honest and standing firm on her morals is really what works in this world?

All too often deceitful, lying people get away with things in life for they are good at manipulation and one must be extremely good at what they do if they never get caught.  She believes in Karma, she believes that the universe gives back to you what you put out there, but why do some people not seem to get what they put out there back? Does negative karma take more time? Will those close to her see that she is honest, loving and caring? Will being honest be enough? Only time will tell …. for now she just spends her mornings staring into the skies and breathing in that sweet Spring air.

Watching the kids roast marshmallows for smores….

Enjoying the sunshine beaming down on me while my feet are up in a chair…

And watching the ducks swim around in the pond, love watching their landing in particular…

Having family time on the weekends is what warms my heart the most but relaxing outdoors? The best pass-time ever!

All too often I find myself wishing for a magic solution; for kids to sleep through the night, for me to be able to move back to my old house, for things to finally align in a way that I feel makes sense. The problem is, wishing upon a star may be fun but it doesn’t solve the issues at hand. You can wish with all your might for things to be different but without the actions to back up the wishful thinking you will be stuck sitting in your situation for a while.

I love to joke about magical fairy dust you sprinkle on the kids before sleep and it helps them have sweet dreams to sleep all night long. My four year old actually thinks this special sleeping fairy dust is cute, heck he even cracks a smile when I tell him with a whisper that I have sprinkled some sweet dreams, special sleepy fairy dust on him so he can magically fall asleep easier! Those are the moments I cherish; smiles, laughter, joyful times.

No matter how hard I wish to be out of the situation I find myself in, it will take hard work, motivation and determination. I recently read a blog post about how mother’s seem to have this motivation and dedication not easily understood nor a skill many men have {no offense men} but really if you think about your mother didn’t she seem to have super powers? I mean a Mom can get things done like no other.

I am happy that I am a mother, it has given me the strength and the courage to change my life for the better. Of course others have had worse mistakes in their past than I have, but still, I wasn’t the person I wanted to be before I became a mother. I am now this person, a person who believes positive thinking and sometimes a little wishing can help every challenge life tosses at you.

So today … just today … if you could have ONE WISH what would that wish be?

When I was younger I knew I wanted to be a mother some day, when the time was right. I never really had a vision as to how many children I wanted or preferred to have. I think I always wanted at least one girl and one boy but had no real preference, just healthy was all I really thought about.

Welcome today, I am now a work at home mother of three children. I have one girl and then two boys. Let me tell you what, if I had heard all the stories about boys I may have thought twice before having another child but my daughter was an amazing baby and young child that she made me want to have so many more.

Then it came, I found out I was preggers, with a boy. I swore that they didn’t know what they were talking about. Here I was single, pregnant, totally unplanned and having a boy! I have one sister and a lot of aunts, very few males in the family at the time other than some distant cousins that I rarely spent time with growing up. I knew girls, I am a girl, I could handle girl problems, questions, issues, etc. BOYS? I was clueless.

I love my sons but they have taught me a few things about the male species:

• Boys have a fascination about every body party, mainly those that other people shouldn’t see.
• Boys are obsessed with jumping on furniture, breaking things and then attempting to fix them.
• Boys will keep you running in every direction all day long and sometimes all night long.
• Boys will head butt each other and you without a tear hitting their eyes.

Boys are just boys … they are built to be tough. I swear I wish I was boy sometimes … they are invincible or so they think!

As I view the world around me I find myself wondering what ever happened to helping your neighbors? I mean, I am a work at home mother of three and I rarely get a break. The one person who will babysit my sons is my sister and boy am I thankful for her. My family isn’t very involved with my children, oh wait some of them would die to take Princess Ki anytime but my poor sons no one other than my father and sister has offered to take them. This is only my side of the family, Justin’s family would take their nephews or grandsons most anytime.

You see neighbors helping neighbors and families helping families is what makes the world go around. My children get to grow up with Mom and Dad being around them more than anyone else, except of course once they hit the school ages, which my oldest is in school now. The point being, whatever happened to people being compassionate, to the barter system, to people helping others in need instead of looking down upon them.

Lately I find myself seeing that if you don’t have money then you can’t get much done in this world. Although, I am a firm believer that if you keep your positive thoughts, your head held high and give to others in anyway you can that karma will feed you back in the long haul. I have been one who has benefited from karma, being kind, outgoing and giving to others in ways that I can has always proved to be wonderful for me.

It’s like everyone is so busy in their own lives, too busy trying to make a living, too busy trying to pay the bills that they don’t take the time to see that there are people in this world who are living paycheck to paycheck barely making it but are happy in love about life. It’s those people who are hard working, positive thinking and compassionate  that deserve a break in life. Those that sit back and take but never give back shouldn’t get a dime worth of my time or anyone else’s. It’s all about giving and receiving, it’s all about bartering and it’s all about human compassion.

What I would do if I were making enough money to pay for my family and a huge house with a huge yard and a huge car is that I would downsize to a home that fits my needs versus my bank account. Once my extra money being spent unwisely was freed up I would give back to my community, mainly the children, because they are our future and it breaks my heart to see parents no longer being parents. Most pass their kids off or worse, allow them to walk the streets of town to fend for themselves. Is this what we want for our future? I say not.

Since when did our world become so shallow that you have to have a big bank account to do a thing in this world? I mean really … isn’t our country built on those that worked their butts off and earned everything they had? I wish some days that I could find those people who still firmly believe in the barter system or the neighbor helping neighbor situations because then I know I would have some dear friends, life long friends, that I would be proud to call my friends!