Often I can be found referring to my family as “my happy chaos”. It is true, my household is high energy and it is true that we are usually smiling most times. Some moments, I want to rip my hair out of my head. Some moments, I want to laugh so hard I cry. Other moments, I am sad. Overall one thing is for sure, I am happy. Nothing has ever happened in my life, since being a Mom that makes me regret one moment of time spent with my children.

For me, no matter how much chaos is happening and no matter what else goes on to make me frustrated or sad, I am always happy inside about being mom. I am thankful I am the one my kids turn to, I am happy they have a place to feel confident and comfortable speaking their opinions and thoughts out loud. It’s the times when my kids are at their worst or upset and they turn to me to talk that I realize every waking moment of my parental “job” has been done right.

For when your kids can turn to you about anything, that is one true accomplishment to be proud of. Some day my kids will be teens with peer pressure and all sorts of tests in life, thankfully I have built that strong bond with my children all of their life. This means one day, when they are teens, they will know they can turn to Mama for calm, soft spoken advice, tips or just a hug if needed.

A video sharing my life raising my five year old … it’s difficult. Has anyone been here, done that? Would love tips, advice and suggestions. I am working with a counselor and he is going to be seeing a psychiatrist, but sometimes getting parenting advice from the online community helps!

Ever wonder why I appear grumpy, lost, not so motivated? This is why, I am usually drained by end of day so bad that it’s hard for me to even think let alone network with my friends online.

I was always taught at various classes and counseling sessions I have been to in my life that a child will always figure out the faults in a parent without the other parent trying to bring light to those faults. When a parent tries to bring light to another parents faults, as they see them to be, it only causes hurt, pain and sometimes anger within their child. The child may grow resentment towards the parent that is down talking the other parent and in turn what the parent thought was protection turns into a mess!

My parents divorced when I was around 11 years old give or take, and it was so hard being a child at that age with divorcing parents. I don’t have a lot of memories about how I felt back then or issues I may have had right away but in the long run I do know it messed with me having two parents who divorced and truly couldn’t get along. I remember it being so difficult, I didn’t want my parents being put down by anyone let alone by each other. Eventually I grew older and became a parent of my own two weeks before I turned 21. When I became a mother, it all clicked, I realized with the help of counseling and parenting courses that co-parents can get along at a level that is beneficial for a child. The co-parents don’t have to like each other, but they need to find that common ground to raise their child without making the child feel as if they have to choose a side.

When it comes to a child and their parents, they do not want to have to pick Dad over Mom or Mom over Dad, honestly that is all bullshit! A parent should never, ever want a child to choose one over the other, it is a ridiculous thought to me, yet so many co-parents pit their child against each other and it does nothing but ruin the future of that child’s life! The child will eventually grow to despise one or both parents and look for other places to find love. The options for a child to find love are not speakable to me, because I walked that path. I would never wish that life upon another child, whether the child is that of my own blood or not.

It’s extremely difficult when you do not like another human being to shut your mouth and not utter a word while your child learns the ins and outs of how each parent works, but you can do it! Believe me, if I can learn to do it, you can too, no matter how difficult. The best way to work with a child who has co-parents and is having a difficult time with one of the parents is to just take the high road and give them a hug, listen and do not judge. Allow that child the time to collect their own thoughts and make their own final decision regarding the situation or parent. If you are unable to listen and be as unbiased as you can, then maybe it’s time that child spoke with a counselor, seeing a counselor is not a bad thing, believe me…. I see a counselor every couple of weeks to assist in parenting techniques and it has been a blessing!

Whether you are struggling with co-parenting, keeping your mouth shut about negative adjectives regarding the other parent or just not sure what to do, believe me, there is help out there. Seek parenting classes, anger management, whatever resource you feel fits your situation, please take advantage of it. Making yourself a better parent is a daily job and it’s vitally important to your child’s future!

Does it really matter what one chooses for an occupation or what they choose to do as a parent? I mean seriously people. I live my life in such a way that I choose not to judge another parents decision, although inside of my own head I may cringe at the idea of elementary students on Facebook or young children raising younger siblings, but that is just my own internal thoughts. I would never lash out, place judgement or verbal/emotionally abuse another parent regarding their decisions. Take a moment to listen to my thoughts regarding the topic of SAHM’s, WAHM’s and work outside of the home Moms… {oh yeah and check out the Queen of the House Mom hat my daughter made me that I wore in the video – LOL}

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic, do you agree that we should just all respect each other as parents and realize that we all do our best to raise the kids we have? Every parent is different, we raise our children to the best of our capabilities and we make family decisions based on what works for us inside of our own homes so can we all just leave well enough alone?

Little did she know there would be no white picket fence to hold her kids in the yard. No medium sized house with four bedrooms to host her three children in their own private quarters. There would be no fairytale happily ever after, but what there would be she would have never dreamed up.

Rena was a girl who loved everyone. Outgoing, bubbling, hard working and a high school graduate. The desire to continue her education beyond high school in a college wasn’t strong enough to set her off on the path of college but rather on a path of life. While growing up Rena could do nothing but crtique the parenting of her mother. The strained relationship between the two of them must have been derived from being the child of a teen mother. Rena never understood why she didn’t feel loved by her mother in the way she saw her friends being loved by their mothers. Rena had a little brother with whom she spent most of her time with, this little brother was a tag along annoyance, in her opinion. Mom was always busy working and going out on dates to be home to tend to the needs of REna and her brother, which left the child bearing up to Rena who was only a few years older than her brother. Being taught the responsiblity of a part time parent and full time student was one that Rena learned early enough to avoid the idea of ever getting pregnant as a teen.

Education was high on the priority list and so Rena would put her head into her high school studies all the way through until senior year when she was so sick of the constant battle of being a pretty girl in school. Rena was just another girl in school but it seemed the boys thought she was gorgeous and the girls were jealous. Being called a slut, a whore and a bitch among other names were a common factor in Rena’s daily life at school. It’s no wonder Rena couldn’t wait to get out of that school. Senior year came along and Rena started drinking more, smoking marijuana and hanging with the “bad crowd” that was either full of high school drop outs or men much too old to even be considered a real friend of Rena’s. These older men fashioned Rena and constantly provided beer so that Rena could get lost in the buzzed feeling while having the men take turns having sex with her. These men didn’t seem to give two shits about Rena, all they cared about was getting laid. Rena learned that love came through physical contact, even when she said NO, they continued and eventually this NO means YES idea came to be something that turned Rena on as an adult and led her down a few years of life where sex meant love and the rougher the sex the more love she felt.

Graduating high school and receiving a ton of money from her immediate and extended family members allowed Rena to go into a downward spiral full of drinking and marijuana. No one could speak to Rena, she had gone so angry and so withdrawn from reality that all she cared about was herself, her beer and her so called friends. These friends taught Rena to do what is called a pump-n-run, which is when you pull up to a gas station, pump gas and drive off as fast as possible. Pump-n-run’s became something most high school and bad young adults did as a way to get away with breaking the law. It was an adrenaline rush for Rena and thank goodness one time she was caught by a police officer and had to march her butt back to the gas station to pay the clerk properly and submit an apology letter. Ths taught Rena that maybe, just maybe her life wasn’t going in the direction she had dreamed of as a little girl. That thought only kept Rena at bay for a moment, she removed the crazy thought that she may be in a downward spiral and continued on with life attempting to hold onto the job she had in high school as an office clerk.

To be continued….