Random Happiness Thoughts and Pictures #familylife

I talk a lot about what brings me complete joy and anyone who is near me can feel the happiness radiate off of me when I am around all three of my children. I just adore my children, but not in the way that I am closed minded to their imperfections. We all have imperfections, we all have to work on our inner self each day. I feel that growing as a person, never stops.

With that being said, welcome to a glimpse into my true inner happiness….

Mom Loves Tats

The sun shined down and I was able to dress down a bit. Shown above is my first of three tattoos I have. This one is my first favorite because it’s a shamrock on my lower right ankle that is meant to be a tat for my first born. Some day, when money allows, I will add my daughter’s name to this tattoo. My daughter has requested that she be there when I have that done. Warm weather and the ability to show my tattoo side makes me happy.

Spending time with my Niece

No one could have ever explained to me the feeling you get when you hold your first born niece. I fell in love with this little bitty girl 15 months ago and she continues to amaze me. This is Livy, my niece, who is shown above grabbing my hair {gently} and turning to say MINE. I swear she was having hair envy in that moment. Spending time with my sister and her baby girl bring me happiness.

SPending time Outside

Watching my middle child, who rarely enjoys the great outdoors, play at the local playground while waiting for his sister the other day was such fun. I enjoy seeing this child happy because out of all three of my children, he is the one who doesn’t waste emotions. This son of mine is happy if he’s happy and sad if he’s sad, mad if he’s mad. Period. That’s it. There is always a pretty reasonable reason for his feelings too. Very simple and I love him for it. Spending time outside with my children, just being a kid with them brings me happiness.

Spending time with my Daughter

Last but not least, spending quality time with my children is important and nothing makes me happier than when my children jump up to sit on this counter top while I am doing dishes or dinner and chatting it up with me. The simple fact that I am still important to them, even my oldest, makes me smile from inside out. Spending time listening to my children speak about what is going on in their world, brings me happiness.

I suppose, you can gather from this post that most of what brings me happiness is a side of me with a main course in parenthood. I hope you find happiness in your world every day!

 

How About your Deal with your Mess That you Created?

Nothing irks me more than parents who refuse to parent.

Okay, maybe I lied.

I am irked by parents who *think* they are parenting by allowing fits to determine if they say yes or no to their child.

Okay, I am sure I could elaborate, but pretty sure most parents and even non-parents, get what I am saying here.

If not …. Google it.

Let me back track here …. so what I don’t like is when parents, specifically co-parents, decide that they will create their own mess. The mess they created was one that they thought the co-parent would pick up the pieces from because, well, that’s what that co-parent was used to in the marriage.

Funny thing is with co-parenting … it means YOU ARE DIVORCED.

Once two people go through the divorce process, they may be guilty of waiting things out, keeping the kids schedules somewhat similar to what they were used to. This really is a bad idea, it leads the kids down a path of holding onto something that is no longer really valid. When two people get divorced, or start living apart, they really need to set up a schedule for the children regardless of how old the children are. Both adults and the children involved in a divorce have the right to feel the emotions, and cope with the changes as soon as possible after the divorce has happened.

If you allow the scenario to play out just as if the two parents were married .. you are only enabling your children to hang onto a life that honesty is no longer going to be life as they know it.

What’s so much fun about co-parenting is that you both have to get over yourselves. Both parents have to realize just because they are divorced doesn’t mean it is a “bring it on” competition between who is the better parent or not. It’s about two people, grown adults actually, working together for the mutual benefit to raise their children properly. Why then, do so many co-parents spend a majority of their children’s lives simply pushing the children away from one parent versus the other?

Earth to co-parents … you two adults already decided that you don’t work well together. That you don’t play well together. So why  make the kids pick sides, they are suppose to love you both unconditionally irregardless of the fact that you can’t stand each other, the children are allowed to love both parents, even if you personally feel you are the better one.

Nothing is worse though, than watching as your ex spouse does everything in their power to speak ill of your moving on in life so that the kids eventually just take that side. After all, the parent who has the children the most will ultimately end up with the most pull on their emotional state and opinions regarding anything in their world. Sad really. That we don’t teach children to think for themselves, rather use them as a pawn for making your own insecurities become true.

Ever hear of the saying “you made your bed, now you can lie in it?” … well yeah that’s what happens when you work so hard to manipulate your children against the other parent. Eventually that parent realizes there isn’t anything they can do except sit back and watch this journey play out.

There is always hope that the children grow up, mature or what not and finally learn to think for their own self, but overall, there is nothing a co-parent can do to rectify the wrong decisions made by the primary parent. As with any parental situation, it takes two parents to be on the same page. Sadly many co-parents cannot suck up their pride and own internal issues for the sake of the children.

That means, the person who has created the wall between a co-parent and their children needs to deal with it, because sometimes the other parent simply cannot fix the damage one co-parent has done or continues to do.

It’s the-one-who-wrecked-havoc’s turn to step up and realize the mess they made. Hopefully they will choose the right direction to go from here.

 

The Time I had The Most Blog Traffic

Since blogging is what I do for a living, there are times I revisit my traffic analytics. I like to see when I had the most traffic on my blogs, for what reason and make business decisions on what topics I may address based on the data I collect. With that being said, the one time in all my five years of blogging, that I had the most insane traffic was … during my divorce.

Seriously.

It’s no surprise to me that with today’s hit television series being that of reality based life, with a tad bit of insane drama added in to make the plot a bit more entertaining, that my divorce scenario fed so many interested souls. The funny thing is? My divorce wasn’t really dramatic, my feelings and rationalization of whether it was the best decision or not was a bit to read and follow along with. I can say it wasn’t an easy decision by any means.

But my divorce had no drama.

So what in the world compels people to read about other people’s sorrows? I can get insane traffic during a so-to-speak hardship time in my life but when I am sharing utter happiness and spreading joy, it’s as if I can hear crickets on my blogs. Don’t get me wrong, I still have good traffic stats, I enjoy the readers who stop by to comment or click an ad here and there. I love seeing those in my analytic stats, but I am left wondering …

What Makes People Read Blogs

What is it that people thrive to read on blogs?

I read blogs. What compels me to continue to read on a site or an article I clicked over to? Is it drama? No, not really. Is it personal stories? Yes, usually. Is it giveaways? Well, duh, I like to win.

What keeps me reading a blog?

The passion behind the words. You know and I know when someone is writing fluff just to get a rise out of someone and gain some traffic to their site to earn some ad revenue and negative exposure to “keep em talking” and in turn, keep that blog running financially. You know and I know when someone is writing from the heart. Words that speak to you. When you read their blog posts, you can just feel their passion in the words and the rhythm that they publish their posts.

Passion is what sells people. I am convinced. It’s not drama, not negative scenarios; it’s plain and simple – passionate bloggers who write during their most emotional time of a situation are what bring readers in.

We are humans, we enjoy feeling something when interacting with others – that goes for reading blogs, talking in person or over the phone.

So there you have it, I am convinced readers keep coming to blogs because they can feel something when reading that person’s blog post, whether good or bad is irrelevant, we simply like to feel that passion & emotion behind the written words.

Unconditional Love for Kids, Unconditional Love for Spouse.. Right?

In my opinion, a parent has unconditional love for their children because, well, they are born to them and we are somewhat of the animal species so our instincts shows u to protect, nurture and love them no matter what. With relationships, why would one not feel the same with the person they marry? I do. I feel that if I took the time to marry someone then I better think long and hard before getting a divorce.  After a conversation the other night, I finally found another person who feels the exact same about marriage; that you hang onto that marriage, two people that are married should work hard to try to fix whatever may be broken within their marriage, not just walk out.

While this is a great theory, truth will have that your children will always be unconditionally loved but to place that exact same love into a husband or wife seems difficult for many. It seems human nature tells us to note other peoples flaws and experience tells our heart to back off when that right for you person is part of your life. We are tricky humans, but I honestly believe that you have to unconditionally love your children. I think with your husband or wife that there is some level of conditional love, but overall it should be held just as high as the love for your children.

Marriage is a sacred vow between two people and that is not something I will ever, ever go into lightly, if I ever marry again. For now, my children are my world and I can see how one could unconditionally love their children but maybe not have that same level of love for their spouse. It makes sense to me, but it shouldn’t be that way!

The Sad Reality of Happiness

It almost sounds like an awful title, how can happiness be sad? Seriously?! Alas, it can be people. Your true deep happiness within your own self can mean sadness in other ways. Such as the idea of being divorced, two parents who were great friends but just couldn’t get the relationship to work, see each other extremely happy as an individual after the divorce but are sad because their children have to grow up in that “two homes” environment that they had so worked to avoid.

That is the sad reality of this world, so many people made the decision to marry and so many get into a divorced situation without working their butts off at trying to keep the marriage working. While my ex and I worked to keep our marriage going, I am realistic and know that some do not. The end result for a divorce situation is that their children are going to somehow benefit from the divorce.

You see, the two parents need to be at their happy place in life and within their own self in order to share that true inner (and outer) happiness with their children. This sometimes means raising your children apart. I have seen my children blossom having their mom and dad divorce, it works for them and it works for us, but that does not mean there are days where I do miss having that “family” type environment for my children.

A single parent environment does suck. Parenting wasn’t meant to be done alone, but I am doing it the best I know how because this is my true happy and I think I see that refection of my inner happiness in each of my children every passing day.  Sure I am going to be a work in progress for a long time, I still have things I struggle with and things that I need to work on to better myself, I think everyone has those things, but overall I am extremely happy with my own self and where I am at in life today, which means I smile more, laugh more and love more.

Children thrive on laughter, love and smiles – all they need is attention. This true inner happiness will be something that someone else, maybe a man? Will enjoy one day about me, but for now I am just taking it one day at a time and hoping that everyone who is in my life at this moment enjoys the person I am today, tomorrow and years ahead. I know I am and I will.