The Ability to Be Honest and Understand Each Other

The love of my life  is someone I met about six months ago. After deciding that the town this man lived in shouldn’t hold me back from contacting him through Match.com we started engaging in long conversations. The conversations started via emails in Match.com then later turned to phone calls and text messages. We just could not get enough of talking with each other. I have seen this happen before though, I have met people that I can engage in a conversation with for hours, I am just good like that. It’s easy for me to relate to many different people and communicate well with them, but these conversations held a deeper value to me, they were simply different than other conversations with other people and I knew I wanted to learn more about this man.

Eventually we met for coffee, I recall thinking it so odd that he likes black coffee; no sugar, no cream, milk or anything. I prefer my coffee quite a bit sweeter with hazelnut creamer and a couple spoons of sugar. We were both sort of shy at first, that is normal for me when meeting someone new but I did forewarn him that I am a hugger so when I snuck a hug while saying good bye or hello, maybe both, I forget now, his only reply in a shy voice was “guess you weren’t kidding, you are a hugger”.  Basically from this meeting day forward, we were hooked.

We began spending a lot of time together, well in between free time with him having his kids a lot and me having mine most of the time. While we didn’t have all of the same interests, we both have interests and passions that align, are similar, the same and he brings more to the table with likes and experiences whereas I bring my own likes and experiences as well. This is a great way to have a healthy, adventurous relationship because we both have certain ways to handle situations. I tend to be less of a worrier most times while he worries and can be a little more nervous about some things.

I parent with rules, boundaries and rewards, while he parented in a completely different way, I honestly felt he started to really lack any form of what I considered parenting but don’t mean that in a rude or degrading way. This man had a lot going on and even when I have a lot going on my parenting doesn’t align the way it should. We are all human after all. We ended up falling madly, completely and deeply in love with each other one day though and everything has just lined right up.

The thing that we both believe really helps us to have made it the around six months we have been together is that we both are willing to listen to each other. We both realize that spoken words don’t always come out the right way for either of us and we both give each other time to think of our words carefully when in a heated conversation. We also don’t judge or take offense when the other person says something that we would normally take offensively because we understand that neither of us is good with words at times of high emotions.

I firmly believe that this love of mine and me have a relationship built to last because we have patience, respect, understanding, trust, love and communication. Neither of us holds the other to be some perfect human, we both laugh at our faults while working to understand each other. I love that both of us are able to step back and almost joke at times to alleviate our imperfections when we may be handling a situation poorly. We seem to just connect in such a way that two people need to for the long haul …. cheers to a new chapter of our lives … living together & blending our families together!

Two adults… five children.. one house…. Looking forward to this adventure!

 

 The Ability to Be Honest and Understand Each Other

I Give Up On Understanding People

Seriously.

As a Mom, I would never in a million years prefer my children be with some other person other than their other parent if need be than me.

I can not for the life of me understand any mother who would ever want their child to be taken care of by another woman that is not their mother when the ability for their mother to care for them is there.

Seriously.

As a woman, I personally catch myself if I am about to judge a situation by it’s cover. I have learned that you cannot look at the outside of a situation and know 100% the story behind their way of life and paths they have crossed.

I can not allow myself to pre judge anyone or any other lifestyle choice without having first lived it myself and even then it’s not any human beings place to judge another.

Seriously.

As a human being, I cannot understand why people will fight over “parenting planning” when going into a co-parenting situation.

Kids are equally that of the Dad and the Mom, split it fairly if that works for you or do whatever seems best for your family and your children. You all may not be together anymore, but the kids do always matter first and foremost.

Seriously.

Last but not least, I just cannot understand a parent who would much rather have time without their child than with their child. Ever. Can you imagine how that child is going to feel towards said parent when they are old enough to look back and realize that parent wanted little if anything to do with them? Sad. Just sad.

Seriously.

I give up on trying to understand people and I am just going to call it how I see it and move on with my damn life. That is all one can do or else I would spend all day stupid slapping people on the forward to try to knock a tad bit of common sense back into their brains.

 I Give Up On Understanding People

I Suppose I am Human Afterall

These days I have been found to be quite a bit snappy, I get this attitude about me when overwhelmed that I just can not get rid of. For starters the end of year into new year was insanely slow with work, while it has picked up tremendously now, I was having a difficult time. Of course once I went back to my reminder to think positive and that everything will work out attitude, work started piling in for me. I keep neglecting to follow my own darn advice at times, suppose I am human after all.

ID 10076712 I Suppose I am Human AfterallI have spent more time these past two weeks apologizing for being snappy to those I love and adore. Thankfully I fill my life with those who truly love me, know my heart and forgive easily or explain that I am human after all so no need to apologize. We all have our days and we all have a limit when reached that we can snap.

To boot with the snappy-ness my period is coming and there is a reason I nicknamed my monthly menstrual cycle as my “nonfriend”, it plays horrible tricks on my hormones for 1-2 weeks prior to me even having this three day cycle every month. To boot, my oldest is having her hormonal changes in her body which is messing with my “normal cycle”.

Overall life has been a challenge lately but I have such great people in my life right now that I feel truly blessed and thankful for that I am trying like hell to focus on being less snappy, less overwhelmed and appreciate the love I have in my life. The things I do have in my life, not materialistic items, human beings – are so important, amazing and I feel so special to have every person in my life that is part of it now. I can admit that I am human after all, but I wish I worked more like some robot with emotions sometimes….

Image courtesy of Victor Habbick/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 I Suppose I am Human Afterall

Is Being Judgmental Just Part of Human Nature?

Usually when I get annoyed with someone who has placed judgement upon another person, I always back it up with “well it is human nature to judge”, but I wonder, is being judgmental a learned behavior or is it truly just something we have instilled within us from birth that only “comes out to play” as we age?

woman thinking Is Being Judgmental Just Part of Human Nature?

Well let’s see, based on everything I read it seems I am not alone in referring to human nature when discussing the subject of being judgmental, ZenHabitats referred to this as being part of our own human nature make up. We are all guilty from time to time of judging another person or situation without knowing all of the facts.

From a person feeding a family of five on one online income to that mom in the grocery store with the screaming child, we all have that moment where we either criticize the way they live or how they parent, we judge them in a negative light without having ever lived a moment in their shoes.  Then we have the people who just insist on making other peoples lives more miserable or sound worse than theirs to avoid looking in the mirror at their own self to fix their own issues.

It doesn’t matter why a person judges but honestly, this quote says it all for me,

No accurate thinker will judge another person by that which the other person’s enemies say about him. — Napoleon Hill

So please remember, it’s common to judge situations and people at first glance, but when you make a habit out of it, well then maybe you should take a moment to think harder before making that judgment and take a long hard look in the mirror at your life and self.

 Is Being Judgmental Just Part of Human Nature?

Stand Strong, Stand Firm

When times get difficult and I wonder where I will find the strength to move forward, I turn to music.

When faced with a situation that I know needs to be adjusted yet I can’t seem to find my strength, I turn to music.

When my backbone disappears, as it often does, and I am found having to stand up tall and strong but can’t, I turn to music.

I am one of those people who spends most of her life making sure everyone around her is happy. I am happy within when I see my children happy and I will forever live to keep my children happy, healthy, safe and loved but I shouldn’t be spending my time avoiding confrontations because I know what needs to be done.

I am strong in many ways, weak in others. It seems my weakness gets the best of me at times and when I sit down to think about this weakness, it almost sounds like an excuse. Anyone how knows me knows how much I hate excuses and I don’t “hate” much of anything. Excuses get to me badly, yet here I am using them.

Sometimes when someone is looking into your situation and is not inside of that situation nor has never lived it, they may not “get it” and they may place judgement upon you for being where you are in life. When others do not understand your situation then they place judgement out of confusion, it’s only natural. I am used to do it, but have learned to not do such things because after going through the various things I have in life, I am one to know that sometimes humans do things that make no sense to anyone else.

All I need is my strength back. I need to not fear confrontation. I need to live my life to the fullest not only for myself but for my children. My children need to see that when times get tough, I don’t give in – I get it straightened out.

I am a go getter in many areas of my life. I don’t put up with shit on many levels, but on other levels in life …. I just can’t seem to stand tall and firm in what I know to be right in my heart and mind. I wonder why that is?

 Stand Strong, Stand Firm

Helping Your Neighbors

As I view the world around me I find myself wondering what ever happened to helping your neighbors? I mean, I am a work at home mother of three and I rarely get a break. The one person who will babysit my sons is my sister and boy am I thankful for her. My family isn’t very involved with my children, oh wait some of them would die to take Princess Ki anytime but my poor sons no one other than my father and sister has offered to take them. This is only my side of the family, Justin’s family would take their nephews or grandsons most anytime.

You see neighbors helping neighbors and families helping families is what makes the world go around. My children get to grow up with Mom and Dad being around them more than anyone else, except of course once they hit the school ages, which my oldest is in school now. The point being, whatever happened to people being compassionate, to the barter system, to people helping others in need instead of looking down upon them.

Lately I find myself seeing that if you don’t have money then you can’t get much done in this world. Although, I am a firm believer that if you keep your positive thoughts, your head held high and give to others in anyway you can that karma will feed you back in the long haul. I have been one who has benefited from karma, being kind, outgoing and giving to others in ways that I can has always proved to be wonderful for me.

It’s like everyone is so busy in their own lives, too busy trying to make a living, too busy trying to pay the bills that they don’t take the time to see that there are people in this world who are living paycheck to paycheck barely making it but are happy in love about life. It’s those people who are hard working, positive thinking and compassionate  that deserve a break in life. Those that sit back and take but never give back shouldn’t get a dime worth of my time or anyone else’s. It’s all about giving and receiving, it’s all about bartering and it’s all about human compassion.

What I would do if I were making enough money to pay for my family and a huge house with a huge yard and a huge car is that I would downsize to a home that fits my needs versus my bank account. Once my extra money being spent unwisely was freed up I would give back to my community, mainly the children, because they are our future and it breaks my heart to see parents no longer being parents. Most pass their kids off or worse, allow them to walk the streets of town to fend for themselves. Is this what we want for our future? I say not.

Since when did our world become so shallow that you have to have a big bank account to do a thing in this world? I mean really … isn’t our country built on those that worked their butts off and earned everything they had? I wish some days that I could find those people who still firmly believe in the barter system or the neighbor helping neighbor situations because then I know I would have some dear friends, life long friends, that I would be proud to call my friends!

 Helping Your Neighbors