I am Nervous for My Children

As I watch over the world today, sitting here watching the Today show hearing about a man who complained in a tweet and almost got kicked off a Southwest Flight for complaining in a tweet. Then there are other news stories where someone tweeting or posted on FB something that “made someone uncomfortable” and had backlash for it or were disciplined in some way. What is our world coming to? We can no longer speak our complaints publicly aloud for all to read or hear? Why is it that so many want to make sure that everyone is comfortable?

Let’s face it people, we are not meant to feel comfortable with all situations and all scenarios. People are not always going to think you are nice. People are not always going to like you. While this may upset you or make you feel uncomfortable, who cares. I face these feelings on a regular, while I usually attract really sweet people, there are occasions where I am confronted with negative, mean people and that’s okay. I don’t whine and cry or tell on them because I am uncomfortable, if I am uncomfortable I need to get over it.

There is a fine line between a scary situation where you feel threatened for a valid reason and you feel uncomfortable but need to simply get over it. I do not feel that we should be taught to shut up and not speak our feelings and opinions. We are allowed to have those feelings and opinions, we own them. Get over it!

Why am I nervous for my children?

I am raising my children in a semi old fashion way as far as thinking patterns go and speaking up for their own selves. I have and still am raising my children to think for their own self. I want my children to develop their own opinions and feelings based on who they are as individuals. Sure, they are children, but you know what?! They are also human beings that need to learn how to be well rounded, respectful, healthy opinionated adults while under my supervision so as to allow me to lead them properly.

I teach my children to speak up for how they feel, I also teach them that while they may feel one way about something that not everything they dislike is going to change. Allowing my children to have a voice, teaching them to speak up and feel for their own self really creates this self confident, independent personality that I feel is important to have in society as an adult. I watch so many adults struggle with these type of things; self confidence, independent thinking and the ability to speak up for their own self. I do not wish to raise children that lack those skills and in all honesty, I have three well spoken children who can eventually tell me what is on their mind.

Sure, sometimes they don’t speak it properly, I am famous for telling them to “please watch your tone and body language”, because that is all part of me teaching them how to express themselves properly. Many read body language before they hear what you are saying, so I am working on the whole package to ensure my children will be adults who speak up and do not ever allow themselves to be treated poorly. Ever.

The Future Looks Scary

I normally don’t catch the news, it’s odd that I happened to be able to watch it today, but every chance I do have to watch the news, I just get sad. I get upset. I get frustrated. We are not living in the same society I grew up in, and it’s not a better society than I grew up in either. I watch adults turn into sheep, we tend to complain and whine but don’t have the actions behind our complaints to make change. I watch as our society starts to turn into this socialist community almost; where our rights are being slowly stripped away and our ability to speak our opinions aloud are being washed away.

I wonder how my children will be viewed when they become adults. Will my children keep these skills I taught them for so many years? Will my children be suppressed to not be these independent, self confident people when they become adults? I sure as heck hope not. I can only hope that we see a positive direction soon, because I cannot handle watching rights being stripped away day after day while we, the current adults in society, allow that to happen.

We the people need to continue to raise our children to be independent thinkers, self confident people and we the people can only do that through being the proper parental example. Fight back. Speak up. Feel something and let that feeling guide you into making change happen!

 

Please do Not be Two Faced

If I can teach any lesson to my children it’s this; DO NOT be two faced.

Seriously. Just do not do it.

If I catch my kids saying anything about another human being that they won’t say to that person’s face, I swear I will ground them. I have zero tolerance for raising gossip kids nor two faced kids. Never in a million years will I condone such behavior.

It’s mean. It’s wrong. Just do not do it.

I will also teach my kids to be weary of those they consider friends, that tend to gossip or tell them about other people’s lives that are none of their damn business. If these people are telling you personal information about another person, then chances are that they are doing the same damn thing to you!

It’s truth. It’s serious. Just do not do it.

Many will argue that “well I am only telling you because you are my best friend”, do not fall into that trap. Remember which friends you can count on and which you have to filter information to.

I’m being flat out serious. Just do not do it.

Keep your eyes and ears open to those you entrust any details of your life with. I honestly will probably teach my highly self confident kids to test out these “so called” friends by telling them a story and see how quickly others find out. When you are self confident, it won’t matter what word gets around or not, because you are confident about who you are. BUT This test will show who is a real friend and who is not trustworthy.

I am just trying to teach you to beware of those who suck.

What amazes me most of all is when I watch someone, who just not too long ago downed a person for their methods in parenthood, yet sat right down and typed up a piece of parental advice regarding the same scenario that the person was JUST putting down not that long ago. I laughed. BUT my eyes were opened to the fact that some people, especially those are not self confident, will slither around and pretend to be something they are not.

Don’t worry, they mean no harm. They are just broken themselves.

I don’t have hateful feelings towards people who do these things; who like to attempt to wreck havov on ones world, because I am too confident for that, but my eye is on those people because they can be a loose canon and that’s not something you want to have out there running their gums too freely about.

Beware who you trust, I don’t care what the reason is for you to choose to play nice with these people, always protect yourself and your good natured personality first.

And whatever you do, never stoop to their damn level, no matter how tempting it can be to put them in their place of public shame.

That’s all for now, keep your eyes and ears open for those two faced people and please raise your children to be better than that!

The Ability to Be Honest and Understand Each Other

The love of my life  is someone I met about six months ago. After deciding that the town this man lived in shouldn’t hold me back from contacting him through Match.com we started engaging in long conversations. The conversations started via emails in Match.com then later turned to phone calls and text messages. We just could not get enough of talking with each other. I have seen this happen before though, I have met people that I can engage in a conversation with for hours, I am just good like that. It’s easy for me to relate to many different people and communicate well with them, but these conversations held a deeper value to me, they were simply different than other conversations with other people and I knew I wanted to learn more about this man.

Eventually we met for coffee, I recall thinking it so odd that he likes black coffee; no sugar, no cream, milk or anything. I prefer my coffee quite a bit sweeter with hazelnut creamer and a couple spoons of sugar. We were both sort of shy at first, that is normal for me when meeting someone new but I did forewarn him that I am a hugger so when I snuck a hug while saying good bye or hello, maybe both, I forget now, his only reply in a shy voice was “guess you weren’t kidding, you are a hugger”.  Basically from this meeting day forward, we were hooked.

We began spending a lot of time together, well in between free time with him having his kids a lot and me having mine most of the time. While we didn’t have all of the same interests, we both have interests and passions that align, are similar, the same and he brings more to the table with likes and experiences whereas I bring my own likes and experiences as well. This is a great way to have a healthy, adventurous relationship because we both have certain ways to handle situations. I tend to be less of a worrier most times while he worries and can be a little more nervous about some things.

I parent with rules, boundaries and rewards, while he parented in a completely different way, I honestly felt he started to really lack any form of what I considered parenting but don’t mean that in a rude or degrading way. This man had a lot going on and even when I have a lot going on my parenting doesn’t align the way it should. We are all human after all. We ended up falling madly, completely and deeply in love with each other one day though and everything has just lined right up.

The thing that we both believe really helps us to have made it the around six months we have been together is that we both are willing to listen to each other. We both realize that spoken words don’t always come out the right way for either of us and we both give each other time to think of our words carefully when in a heated conversation. We also don’t judge or take offense when the other person says something that we would normally take offensively because we understand that neither of us is good with words at times of high emotions.

I firmly believe that this love of mine and me have a relationship built to last because we have patience, respect, understanding, trust, love and communication. Neither of us holds the other to be some perfect human, we both laugh at our faults while working to understand each other. I love that both of us are able to step back and almost joke at times to alleviate our imperfections when we may be handling a situation poorly. We seem to just connect in such a way that two people need to for the long haul …. cheers to a new chapter of our lives … living together & blending our families together!

Two adults… five children.. one house…. Looking forward to this adventure!

 

I Give Up On Understanding People

Seriously.

As a Mom, I would never in a million years prefer my children be with some other person other than their other parent if need be than me.

I can not for the life of me understand any mother who would ever want their child to be taken care of by another woman that is not their mother when the ability for their mother to care for them is there.

Seriously.

As a woman, I personally catch myself if I am about to judge a situation by it’s cover. I have learned that you cannot look at the outside of a situation and know 100% the story behind their way of life and paths they have crossed.

I can not allow myself to pre judge anyone or any other lifestyle choice without having first lived it myself and even then it’s not any human beings place to judge another.

Seriously.

As a human being, I cannot understand why people will fight over “parenting planning” when going into a co-parenting situation.

Kids are equally that of the Dad and the Mom, split it fairly if that works for you or do whatever seems best for your family and your children. You all may not be together anymore, but the kids do always matter first and foremost.

Seriously.

Last but not least, I just cannot understand a parent who would much rather have time without their child than with their child. Ever. Can you imagine how that child is going to feel towards said parent when they are old enough to look back and realize that parent wanted little if anything to do with them? Sad. Just sad.

Seriously.

I give up on trying to understand people and I am just going to call it how I see it and move on with my damn life. That is all one can do or else I would spend all day stupid slapping people on the forward to try to knock a tad bit of common sense back into their brains.

I Suppose I am Human Afterall

These days I have been found to be quite a bit snappy, I get this attitude about me when overwhelmed that I just can not get rid of. For starters the end of year into new year was insanely slow with work, while it has picked up tremendously now, I was having a difficult time. Of course once I went back to my reminder to think positive and that everything will work out attitude, work started piling in for me. I keep neglecting to follow my own darn advice at times, suppose I am human after all.

ID-10076712I have spent more time these past two weeks apologizing for being snappy to those I love and adore. Thankfully I fill my life with those who truly love me, know my heart and forgive easily or explain that I am human after all so no need to apologize. We all have our days and we all have a limit when reached that we can snap.

To boot with the snappy-ness my period is coming and there is a reason I nicknamed my monthly menstrual cycle as my “nonfriend”, it plays horrible tricks on my hormones for 1-2 weeks prior to me even having this three day cycle every month. To boot, my oldest is having her hormonal changes in her body which is messing with my “normal cycle”.

Overall life has been a challenge lately but I have such great people in my life right now that I feel truly blessed and thankful for that I am trying like hell to focus on being less snappy, less overwhelmed and appreciate the love I have in my life. The things I do have in my life, not materialistic items, human beings – are so important, amazing and I feel so special to have every person in my life that is part of it now. I can admit that I am human after all, but I wish I worked more like some robot with emotions sometimes….

Image courtesy of Victor Habbick/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is Being Judgmental Just Part of Human Nature?

Usually when I get annoyed with someone who has placed judgement upon another person, I always back it up with “well it is human nature to judge”, but I wonder, is being judgmental a learned behavior or is it truly just something we have instilled within us from birth that only “comes out to play” as we age?

Well let’s see, based on everything I read it seems I am not alone in referring to human nature when discussing the subject of being judgmental, ZenHabitats referred to this as being part of our own human nature make up. We are all guilty from time to time of judging another person or situation without knowing all of the facts.

From a person feeding a family of five on one online income to that mom in the grocery store with the screaming child, we all have that moment where we either criticize the way they live or how they parent, we judge them in a negative light without having ever lived a moment in their shoes.  Then we have the people who just insist on making other peoples lives more miserable or sound worse than theirs to avoid looking in the mirror at their own self to fix their own issues.

It doesn’t matter why a person judges but honestly, this quote says it all for me,

No accurate thinker will judge another person by that which the other person’s enemies say about him. — Napoleon Hill

So please remember, it’s common to judge situations and people at first glance, but when you make a habit out of it, well then maybe you should take a moment to think harder before making that judgment and take a long hard look in the mirror at your life and self.