How much more can a girl take? I work from home, I blog, I do some freelance writing, I run with a 2 and 4 year old all day all the time, I cook, I clean and well I even give to others in my Blogging Support group. I run not only my blog but my virtual assistant business and let me tell you SEO clients are big right now, everyone wants their site listed and listed properly within their specific niche. I also took on some extra work as we are saving money so I can try to get a new to me SUV or van.

My man has a plate of dinner in the microwave waiting for him every night he comes home from work, my children are all healthy, clean and happy. My readers love the giveaways, reviews and positive blog posts I have been sharing with them. When is it time for me? For me to receive that nice meal when I am done with a day of parenting and working? Where is that back massage I so need to relieve the stress I hold in my shoulders day after day?

Yeah, you answered correctly … it is no where to be found, but I bet you thought I was here to do a whole ranting and venting that my life sucks? That I just can’t take anymore, huh?! Nope, not me, not the Brandy Ellen who maintains a smile more often than not, who instead of getting upset when her two year old won’t sleep sits down and plays blocks with him in the middle of the night. Who greets her man with a hug, even if he doesn’t seem like he appreciates it at times. I am that girl, the girl that gives and gives and although receiving in return would be nice, I rarely expect it.

Life should be a two way street though, and eventually you would think the smiles will fade, the mood will get negative and this Mama will be at her limit. I do have those days, the days when I just want to curl up and sleep all day, allow depression to kick in and allow myself to focus on all that I have on my plate. Focus on all that I do in a day and think of it in a negative way, but my mind won’t let me. It’s like my mind is working against for me, day after day I smile, day after day I find something positive about my life. I chose this life, I live this life the best I can and by gosh I am going to enjoy every waking moment I have as a work at home mom. I am thankful, appreciative, happy that I am able to be home, to make an income from home. I am proud I get to raise my children, I am happy I have a man who may not always seem to be on the same page as me, stands by me and supports all I do.

I am thankful, simply thankful that I have it all piled on, because this is the life I live, it’s the only one I know how to live and smiling always gets me through it!

Yesterday I had another silly conversation with my now two year old, it went something like this …

Mama – K did you poop?

Baby K – no {with the roll of the eyes}

Mama – Are you sure you didn’t poop?

Baby K – no Daddy poop {with a grin}

Mama – oh, Daddy pooped his pants?

Baby K – yeah … no …. yeah

Mama – Daddy is bad then if he pooped his pants.

Baby K – no … Mama bad … no Daddy bad.

Mama – {laughing at this point} Ok then …. did you poop? I can smell it.

Baby K - no … A did …

Mama - A pooped?

Baby K – noooooo {with a giggle}

Mama – ok .. you pooped buddy lets go change your diaper you trickster.

So I changed his diaper and wiped him up. After that was done he stood up half naked and says “all clean, all done” and ran off half naked.

I just love the two’s.

He has trickster written all over his face

So it begins, school is just around the corner and I find that my schedule is going to be cut tight again! No more day trips because I will have to be home in time for soccer practice, girl scouts or getting my oldest from school. As I work to get my middle child into preschool, well that is another commitment I have, to get him to and from preschool should we actually find him a good one. I love being a Mom, I love that my children are so involved with various activities and I love that I am supportive and right there to cheer them on in any event that they partake in!

The problem is that no matter how much you love your children and no matter how much you love that you can stay home and work from the privacy of a home office there comes a day when you simply say “Mama needs a break”.  Seriously, how many days in a row can this Mama go with lack of sleep, lack of an appetite and feeling so plain exhausted that she falls asleep next to her four year old while singing him to sleep?! I mean that is not good, considering I work from home at night after my kids go to sleep, so if I pass out with AJ for an hour then I just lost an hour of work time I must make up on the back end. Another late night for Mama.

Working from home is awesome, starting a business one year and then finding it still going strong over a year later is even more awesome! The fact that you can wake up to your children and watch them grow before your eyes every day is priceless. Do not get me wrong, I cherish the life I live, I am lucky and I do enjoy every spaghetti wearing moment of it! At the same time, I do need a little break.

I keep telling Justin that I am totally going to take off one of these weekends he doesn’t work and just get away. I tell him we need to find someone to watch the boys overnight at our home or theirs so we can have one night of alone time to sleep in, to stay up late with no responsibilities, whatever it is we choose to do. To have one night a month without responsibilities for an overnight period would be amazing! Unfortunately there are few people who will babysit our sons and those people will or can not take them overnight for whatever reasons, the reasons are valid reasons!

It just sucks some days knowing that our family is simply us, Justin, me, the boys and Princess Ki. We are all we have and we are our own mini-support system, but reality is I wish there was a way to find a person who has kids of a similar age and we could switch weekends to take turns with sleep over babysitting. I am so a kid person, I would love to have a sleep over with a bunch of kids making beds in the living room watching cartoons on DVD all night long and sleeping in. Waking up to a mess of popcorn or chips everywhere in the house. I am that Mom, but when you are surrounded by children, specifically yours, all day and all night for so many years without sleep your body and mind scream for a day break or overnight break, something to help you focus and find that energy again.

I love my children dearly, they are the best little people in my world but it’s about time for some me time because Mama needs a break!

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Oh my gosh, my kids LOVE ketchup but it is partially my fault as I am a huge fan of using ketchup in extreme amounts on just about everything too. My kids love ketchup with their chicken alfredo, instead of the alfredo sauce, ketchup on eggs, ketchup on pork chops and the list can go on and on.

Ketchup and kids was not a huge deal up until about a week ago when my youngest who will be 2 in August decided that he could use this wonderfully red product as finger paint. Yes Baby K insists on painting his brothers face, cheek and his sisters arm and clothing with red ketchup.

I have wondered what methods I can use to deter him from using ketchup in this not so great way. Maybe put him in the time out corner when he does it, raise my voice at him, explain it’s not okay or better yet J has told me that I should simply take ketchup away from him until he starts to use it right. Meaning he won’t have ketchup for any of his favorite foods and will watch as his sister & brother use it in full amounts.

I love the idea of taking the ketchup away from him altogether, however, this almost 2 year old boy watching his siblings use ketchup may lead to more issues than just a little bit of ketchup on various parts of bodies … he may have a total melt down which may lead to his plate being thrown, food tossed at us, and so much more.

As I work towards figuring out a resolution to ketchup and kids I write on here to see what ideas you have to help me fix the ketchup and kids dilemma! Any tips, advice, what you would do comments are encouraged!

When my ex husband and I met we were convinced within a few short months that we were soul mates, expected to spend the rest of our lives together, no matter what. He is the quiet laid back type and I am the outgoing social butterfly and sometimes high strung type. Eventually the fact that we were opposites on many levels drove me crazy and made me push him further and further away, as I started pushing, he started pushing back. Oh it was a real fun situation for about a year or longer.

The pushing each other away came to a point where Miss Positive Me was focusing on every imperfection I could possibly focus on, right down to the not taking the trash out, which is something that never bugged me really at all. I feel in a relationship it is 50/50 and although I am more the old fashion kinda gal, I also know how to pull my own weight around the house, especially being a work at home Mom.

After a year of us debating what we would do, my ex-husband finally said “I will give you a separation but only because I feel once you get out there and meet other people you will realize that we truly are soul mates & are meant to be together forever”. I of course, at that time, laughed my butt off, saying, “yeah ok, whatever you say. Doubt it”.  I did say that to his face, I am outspoken and honest after all, which I think is the reason why this dude totally trusts me, I find it hard to lie & often tell people things most others wouldn’t imagine saying out loud.

Long story, sort of shortened; after six months or so separated I filed for divorce and he decided to not fight the decision. He once said to me, “I didn’t want a divorce but I didn’t want to be with you either”, and so we got officially divorced legally on May 25 ,2010. We got along just fine as friends, sharing our sons together, but something was missing in both of our lives. I honestly was happy and overall felt great and confident of my new found freedom of raising the kids & running my business. My ex, however, had felt like something was missing to a point that he could barely eat and felt just quite simply unhappy.

The end result? My ex husband sends me an email one Saturday night, of course it was the night of my “freedom from the kids” and as I laid down on my bed to go to sleep I read his email. Of course, what he said in detail is private information but I can tell you when I first read it … I cried because it was full of things I wanted him to say and do back when we first separated.

Did Brandy take her ex back? Are they truly soul mates? Read on tomorrow to find out some more of this story …