Thankful for my Patience and Sense of Humor

My daughter is going through what most call the tween years. This is when their hormones are changing and it’s making me try to cycle up with her hormones. In a nutshell, having a daughter in her tween years means that Mother Nature plays this trick on the female who doesn’t have as strong of hormones, maybe it’s my old age so now my body says “look there’s hormones in the air. Let’s sync up” and I am an emotional wreck most days.

I was trying to figure out the other day why my emotions seem off kilter and then it dawned on me, I have two tween girls around. Not only my daughter but the boyfriends daughter and well that makes for me becoming quite the hormonal mess. I not only have to deal with my hormones trying to sync up with two tween girls, but I have to deal with my daughter’s mood flashes that even she hates having. Last night, after a mood flash for absolutely no reason, my daughter said “Mama I don’t know why I do that. I get in this funk for no reason. Then bam I am all set and happy as if that down moment never happened.” I simply replied “it’s called female hormones, welcome to the club” when my daughter promptly replied “I don’t want to be part of that club”.

I laughed. Neither do I sweet daughter. Neither do I.

So this morning when her hair wasn’t cooperating and I could just not get it perfectly right for her, I knew it was all my fault. I control the heavens and the Earth, if her hair has bumps that won’t go straight, if her hair won’t set just the way she wants, it’s all my fault – even if I didn’t touch her hair. That’s just how it goes when a child is trying to deal with the fun club of Female Hormones.

Thankfully I have a lot of patience, a close relationship with my daughter and love because without those and a fantastic sense of humor, most days I would be close to ending up in a looney bin.

It is Friday, right?!

I Suppose I am Human Afterall

These days I have been found to be quite a bit snappy, I get this attitude about me when overwhelmed that I just can not get rid of. For starters the end of year into new year was insanely slow with work, while it has picked up tremendously now, I was having a difficult time. Of course once I went back to my reminder to think positive and that everything will work out attitude, work started piling in for me. I keep neglecting to follow my own darn advice at times, suppose I am human after all.

ID-10076712I have spent more time these past two weeks apologizing for being snappy to those I love and adore. Thankfully I fill my life with those who truly love me, know my heart and forgive easily or explain that I am human after all so no need to apologize. We all have our days and we all have a limit when reached that we can snap.

To boot with the snappy-ness my period is coming and there is a reason I nicknamed my monthly menstrual cycle as my “nonfriend”, it plays horrible tricks on my hormones for 1-2 weeks prior to me even having this three day cycle every month. To boot, my oldest is having her hormonal changes in her body which is messing with my “normal cycle”.

Overall life has been a challenge lately but I have such great people in my life right now that I feel truly blessed and thankful for that I am trying like hell to focus on being less snappy, less overwhelmed and appreciate the love I have in my life. The things I do have in my life, not materialistic items, human beings – are so important, amazing and I feel so special to have every person in my life that is part of it now. I can admit that I am human after all, but I wish I worked more like some robot with emotions sometimes….

Image courtesy of Victor Habbick/

Sometimes I Simply Forget Who I Have Become

Lately I have been in this funk, I keep saying my hormones are off. I cry at the drop of a hat and it’s difficult to find that happy thoughts place I always have been so good at finding. Then I had this lovely conversation with a Twitter friend, she reminded me what I have worked so hard to be all of these years, she reminded me that it’s simply a matter of taking back control of me.

You see, I do believe and have seen first hand, that thoughts can control you. Let’s say you think you have this illness, or maybe you think you are pregnant, if you keep thinking that way then your body will literally start to act as if you are sick or pregnant or whatever it is that you seem to think in your mind is going on.  That is the exact reason why I have been stuck in this hormonal rut, sure maybe something is going on with my body and I certainly will need to get to to a doctor, but I have fought off Generalized Anxiety Disorder sided with a cup of paranoia and horrible temper before, I can fight off the emotional roller coast my mind is taking me on for sure! No problem.

I can do this

I can do this, I can find me again and I can get back on track but in order to do so I have to do a bit of life clean up, this means removing once again any toxic friendships I have that help bring me down rather than up. I will succeed because I succeed at everything I put my mind to. I also need to start working out again, that really helps to boost the happy hormones!


What No One Told Me about Raising a Daughter

I have read all sorts of parenting books, mostly ones about raising girls, after all my first born is a girl and with that first born came this “by the book” mentality. Of course that “by the book” mentality has gone out the window since having two more children, both boys, but I still recall some things I read about raising girls. No book ever forewarned me of the hormonal changes that my daughter is experiencing would mess with my hormones. Not my mother, not my father, not a book, nothing.

And so I get welcomed into the ripe old stage of adolescence with having my menstrual cycle all messed up. The hormonal emotional roller coaster ride is nothing compared to having a period every two damn weeks. I would much prefer to be called mean every couple of days than to have to grit my teeth through cramping and my own mood swings every two weeks. This explains why I felt as if my hormones were off.

Not only is it the season of less sunlight here in NH but in my household it is the season of the daughter’s body changes and with that comes my menstrual cycle and hers trying to ‘sync up’, a poor joke played on females who reside together by Mother Nature. So after a week or two of feeling so completely off balance with my moods, I woke up to have my menstrual cycle aka nonfriend. My nonfriend arrived two weeks early and I am not impressed.

I kindly reminded my daughter that she is grounded, her hormones have wreaked havoc on my hormones and it’s not going to go unpunished.  Of course all I get is a laugh when I say that to the kid because she knows I wouldn’t ground her for such silliness, but doesn’t it sound good? “Sorry daughter, you are grounded to your room for fear that your hormones are trying to take over my own and that my dear daughter is a bad, bad thing”.

Is it Hormones or That Time of the Year

For the past month or less I have been really struggling with hot and cold changes in body temperature. Ups and downs in moods and crying at a whim. I am not that person. I am usually happy and if not happy per say, I am rarely ever sad or depressed. As the days grow shorter and the sun is around less and less, I find my body shutting down on me.  I am losing energy, losing spirit and simply just want to sleep.

Irritability set in at one point, but I think that was due to some pills I was trying for review on my other blog. I stopped taking them and do not feel as irritable. I do feel like crying more often than not. Honestly, if I had to peg what is wrong with me based on past experiences, I would say I was pregnant. No worries people, I am not pregnant, which is why this is even more mind boggling for me.

Never having gone through such hormonal mood swings and ups and downs it has me wondering what is wrong with my 31 year old self. Is it age getting to me, hormones changing due to having a hormonal daughter in the house? Is it simply that I have been working too much to support the kids? Is it simply due to lack of a good nights sleep due to the little one waking mid night often?

I am not sure what the answer is, but I do know lack of sleep and lack of sunlight may be playing a huge toll in the hormonal mood swings I am feeling. I just don’t want to go back to having mood swings, anxiety and paranoia like I did in my teen and young adult years. I wasn’t a good person back then and having these feelings brings back memories I have moved on from with therapy and would rather keep them there. No matter how much therapy one has had, the memory of who I was, keeps me from becoming that person again.

These hormones are really killing me, in an emotional way.

I haven’t ever been bothered by the change in seasons, other than I hate cold weather and snow, maybe my body is just growing older and lack of Vitamin D from living in New Hampshire all of my life is finally getting to me. I suppose, I should try to see a doctor soon because I am in control for now, but these hormones are really giving me a run for my money lately.

Whatever Shall I Do

My daughter is going to be nine years old in October, the same month in which I turn 30. My daughter has been going all hormonal on me. I get it, I get all hormonal once a month about one week before my period and it’s a time when I can’t stand being near myself let alone dealing with a child who has no clue what this is all about.

I decided that since my daughter is showing signs of being hormonal I would show her what pads are and take a moment to share with her what the lovely nonfriend of the month brings. The problem? She doesn’t want to hear a thing about it, but who can blame her, I mean this is serious business and gross at the same time for a little girl.

I am one of those parents who knows my children are listening even if they are grossed out or appear to not hear you. My child is listening to me and she is aware of what she has coming ahead. Hopefully she is 12, the same age I was when I had my period, but I have no clue because the hormones are raging and I catch her looking at boys a bit more than she ever did before. Please don’t let her be boy crazy is all I can think to myself.

We have discussed how I feel about boys and dating and all of that because apparently in her grade girls have “boyfriends” , well my daughter won’t be having a boyfriend any day soon. Sure she can do the whole immature in school I have a boyfriend thing where they don’t do a thing with them it’s some odd immature I have a boyfriend no I don’t stage. I had that stage but it was much later in life, or was it? We won’t go there, because I am not sure.

Either way, all I get from my father for advice is “Good luck girl I am rooting for ya”, and after all what can he say? He has two daughters, he has been here before and he probably still deals with the raging hormones from his two daughters often, but Dad deals well. I don’t deal well…. but I will find the secret to dealing with this hormonal stage of my daughter … I WILL.