I start looking at my belly fat and realizing my stress sticks to the belly and makes me thicker in the belly area. My shoulders become boulders, rock hard and my head can’t seem to get rid of this ongoing headache.

I never walk around saying I am stressed out, I do use the term overwhelmed at times for I do have a lot going on but sitting here thinking about what is overwhelming me is just not possible nor how I wish to live my life.

The problem is, more and more keeps getting added slowly each day. As each day passes I feel my health fading more and more. I don’t have health insurance so to go to the doctor is something I rarely ever do. I keep up with my OBGYN stuff through a place I can go for free but other than that I have zero clue if my high blood pressure is back, if my cholesterol is okay or even if my lower abdomen cramping that has been getting worse is a sign of anything bad.

I can apply for a grant through the county, maybe I should, but I feel my income wouldn’t qualify me for much of a break on health care costs. I just wish I had stayed married for health insurance reasons, haha! So while my body is telling me I am stressed, I can’t seemed to get my mind wrapped around that. I’ve been stuffing my head into my Kindle Fire at night reading books and not getting much sleep as we are weaning the five year old off of one med so that he can get on risperdal.

With every med change there’s a very stressful situation at home for my five year old is either extremely hyper happy or extremely angry aggressive hyper. This med change has proven to bring out my five year old’s happy hyper, so while it’s a wonderful happy thing, it’s also extremely difficult to deal with along side a 3 and 9 yr old who need their Mama just as much. School break has been spent mainly outdoors to avoid indoor conflicts with my five year old’s change during this med switch but I am so ready for a vacation because no matter how many times my brain doesn’t seem to realize I am stressed… my body and health is telling me I can’t handle one more thing right now for I may break down.

One of my Facebook friends had an interesting quote up one day and it basically promoted the fact that we don’t have bad days, we all have bad moments that some use to create a fully bad day. I have to believe this to be true, being the sort of thinker I am, makes me redirect my mind to something better. I firmly believe that if you allow one down or bad moment take you for a whirl, that is focusing on this bad moment, then it will only have more bad moments to follow which in turn makes a bad day.

If you make a conscious decision to take that bad moment, find some small aspect of positive from it, and move forward to make the day a better one, you will find the day will only get brighter. It is extremely difficult to turn a bad moment upside down, but many go by the saying “fake it til you make it” and sometimes faking a little smile to get your mind boosted in the right direction isn’t all that bad of an idea! Just remember, don’t fake it til you make it forever, simply forcing a smile through this bad moment, is fine, but faking a smile through out your days, does not necessarily change the outcome of your day, now does it?

One must fully believe in their heart and soul that this bad moment can be overcome, that life will go on and life will go on happily. We all create our happily ever after, so do not allow one bad moment become more bad moments and in turn creating a bad day when all you had to do was turn lips upward to a smile, for when you smile so do those around you, and then that so called fake smile will be heart felt as you watch your family smile in return from your smile.

Everywhere you look and read there are professionals and friends really pushing you to keep your own self and identity even while parenting.  The point is that keeping in tune with what makes you tick and allowing yourself to continue to be your own self while parenting makes you a better parent. The problem is, where do you fit in time to focus on YOU?

If you are a close family with relatives willing to watch your kids for free or take them for an overnight stay, then I could see how finding time for you would be so much easier. What if you are not that family? What if you have no one to take your kids and you are stuck trying to work around being a parent and juggling children? What do you do then?

Here are some ways you can fit YOU into the equation of parenting:

• Take a walk – let your spouse know you need some time away, that you are just going to go for a walk. Work out a time that works best for both of you and head outdoors for a walk with no guilty feelings.
• Read a book – if reading is your think, set aside an hour after the kids are asleep to indulge in a novel that suits your interested.
• Write in a Journal – journals are a great way to document who you are, how your day was and keep track of how your life is going. It’s also a great way to relax the mind after the kids go to sleep so you can sleep better and wake up more refreshed.
• Get a Hobby – if you have something that you have been passionate about for years but have not been making time for it, now is your chance. Kids sleep at some point, right?  Whether it be on a weekend night or week day night, set aside an hour each day to do whatever it is you enjoy.

Remind yourself that you matter as much as your children on a daily basis. It’s all too easy to get consumed in the every day parenting rituals and wake up one day to find your kids are grown and you are lost. Do not make it so that you have to work harder after the kids are grown to find your own self, make it easier by taking a tiny bit of time each day to focus on you.

I tend to drive people crazy with my fly by the moment sort of personality, but honestly that is what works for me. You see, I have always had anxiety, some years are better than others while other years are worse, it all depends upon what’s going on in my life. It seems when I am under a high amount of pressure my anxiety kicks in quickly making it semi-difficult to deal with life without that tension taking over from my anxiety disorder.

I do not take medicine for my anxiety, I used to, but haven’t in many years. I tend to find resetting my mind to focus on the moment rather than the future makes it easier and allows my anxiety to stay low key. When I get asked to go to various events it’s extremely difficult for me to plan that far ahead. In the moment I am all about it, sounds great, but then as I start to think about what will be going on in a couple of months I worry if I will be able to keep the commitment and my mind just goes into the “what if” mode making it difficult to live my day to day life.

This is why I am more of a fly by the moment kind of person, planning requires me thinking too far ahead and if there’s one thing I have found out living this life I lead, it’s that nothing is forever and you have to live in the now. Planning too far out in advance means I have to know what’s going on with the kids, myself and others in life which honestly, is never consistent enough to plan around. I feel more stable flying by the moment, I like surprises and I like just hopping in the car taking a long drive to wherever we end up rather than having to have a destination.

My destination in life is to simply be happy, love life and cherish each moment I have with my family. Why start planning now and get all worked up over the things that don’t matter? I say live life whatever way makes you happiest, because when you are the happiest, everyone around you can feel that happy energy & in turn they become happier, including your children.

And I found out more about Jennifer Lopez that I didn’t know as well as had a memory recall of how many men she has fallen fast for. I can relate to J-Lo is many ways, when I am in a relationship I tend to jump and give my all. It’s not that I fall fast for the wrong people, it’s just that I give my all and then get upset when their all isn’t given. Let’s just say relationships in my world are a work in progress, much like J-Lo.

However, her music is amazing and here are a couple of her songs that I just love dearly. I love how she makes curves look hot, you see I don’t consider her extremely curvy, however, she is not an anorexic looking actress/singer and seems to help promote a healthy body image for girls. I think I need to go buy her albums for my car, because I totally forgot just how much I love her music!