Why Do Humans, Specifically Women, Over Analyze

It is always fascinating to me how we, humans, over analyze things. Men tend to not have this trait as often as females do; it seems men live pretty simply. Men know this is how it is and they go with it, again, not all men but a predominant amount of them seem to live life this way. Why is it then, that most females tend to second guess their own self? Why do we make an educated, heartfelt decision and then beat it to death with our over analyzing gene?

There is one theory that states woman have a better connection between thinking and speaking; this means most of us woman speak during our thought process. Women take the time to discuss their thoughts, where they are coming from and verbalize it. Men tend to think harder, ponder and then speak when ready. I am not sure if I feel either way is right or wrong, but I do think the fact that most women speak while going through the thought process can lead to over analyzing. Essentially men do the same thing, but no one is aware because they are not as vocal about it.

As it pertains to relationships, many women will analyze a man and the relationship because she has gone through experiences that led her to a path where certain things are unacceptable. Most women, at a certain age or stage in their life, realize what type of man will last long term with her. If that man exhibits a wide range of traits she sees as red flags, she will move on. NO questions asked, because her future  matters to her. That’s not to say men don’t do the same thing, women tend to think further ahead I feel than men who live in today.

I have held many conversations with men who admit that they haven’t really ever thought about tomorrow, they live in today and go day by day. As a parent, I have become a more proactive person; I live for today but I think about tomorrow in a productive, positive way. As a women and mother of three, I have certain needs that must be met as a mother as well as a women. Due to the fact that my middle child has special needs, I tend to analyze a lot of areas in my life. I need to ensure I am living for full happiness, as a whole, to ensure my children are progressing and thriving for their happiness as a whole.

Analyzing things helps me, as a woman and mother, to determine if my feelings are derived from hormones, stress or realistic expectations. Sadly, I can analyze something to death when I don’t like the outcome of my initial report, so to speak. I wonder why that is, why we question our thorough analysis of a situation? Can’t we have faith and confidence in our final decisions and reports?

I think experience and self worth plays a huge roll in how much we analyze something. I also think our gender plays a role. What I can say is this; I wish I would stop letting what other people feel get in the way with what I feel confident about for my future. I need to stand firm with all that is important to me, whether others agree, disagree or understand, at the end of the day all that matters is that I feel confident in my decisions. I am the one who has to live with my decisions, as well as my children, but my children usually can see me happier as I don’t make decisions lightly. When my children see me happier, they are happier. Period. Point Blank. That’s it.

I suppose my final analysis (being a woman and all) is that I believe women analyze things to death as a means to second guess ourselves based on experiences, the crowd we surround ourselves with and the simple fact that we get more flack than the men do when they  make decisions.

 

 

 

The Kids Will Forever Come First

MOntshire Museum of scienceI am not one to be afraid to walk away from anything if it means that my kids and I will most benefit from a situation. You see, I am a huge promoter of always being at your best. I live my life to find my happiest place and to really know what I need to remain happy.

This is not to say I am not sad sometimes, that I don’t go through various forms of depression when things get extremely challenging. I am human. I am not perfect.

With that being said, I am queen of ensuring that no matter how hard something is to decide or to follow through with after a decision has been made, that I will stick with it and follow through. This may take a long time, sometimes years, but I do it.

IMG_20130315_150932In turn, my kids see that I always put their happiness {and mine as well as ours as a family} first. This is why my kids and I are so close knit, positive and outgoing. We just have this amazing dynamic and I will never, ever let anything come in between that to break it.

Think about the Mama Bear seeing you happen upon her cub, she will fight tooth and nail to keep that baby safe, even if you meant no harm. That is how I fight – to remind myself that others in our world may not mean harm to us, but as a means to continue to live in this happy rhythm I have worked so hard to create for my family, I will fight at all costs to ensure the balance of kids, family and adult time remains.

There is something about having that balance in your parental and personal life that really helps make things work well together. I love that my life  simply flows naturally, and that the kids are happy kids because of how hard I work to remain positive, happy and healthy!

And This is Why I Love My Job

Working from home certainly has it’s perks, one of those is being able to sit down on a Sunday morning with laptop, cup of strong coffee and wearing my pajamas while I work away …

Working from Home

Sure some say I work too much, but the problem with that is that most do not do what they love for work. With that being said, I do not ever feel as if I work a day in my life. My job is something that is truly my passion in life; writing and networking. Those two things combined with social media just make me happy.

With that being said, I do not work too much. I love my job. That is all. I love my kids. That is all. If you can not accept and appreciate that about me, then why are you my friend?

 

The Sad Reality of Happiness

It almost sounds like an awful title, how can happiness be sad? Seriously?! Alas, it can be people. Your true deep happiness within your own self can mean sadness in other ways. Such as the idea of being divorced, two parents who were great friends but just couldn’t get the relationship to work, see each other extremely happy as an individual after the divorce but are sad because their children have to grow up in that “two homes” environment that they had so worked to avoid.

That is the sad reality of this world, so many people made the decision to marry and so many get into a divorced situation without working their butts off at trying to keep the marriage working. While my ex and I worked to keep our marriage going, I am realistic and know that some do not. The end result for a divorce situation is that their children are going to somehow benefit from the divorce.

You see, the two parents need to be at their happy place in life and within their own self in order to share that true inner (and outer) happiness with their children. This sometimes means raising your children apart. I have seen my children blossom having their mom and dad divorce, it works for them and it works for us, but that does not mean there are days where I do miss having that “family” type environment for my children.

A single parent environment does suck. Parenting wasn’t meant to be done alone, but I am doing it the best I know how because this is my true happy and I think I see that refection of my inner happiness in each of my children every passing day.  Sure I am going to be a work in progress for a long time, I still have things I struggle with and things that I need to work on to better myself, I think everyone has those things, but overall I am extremely happy with my own self and where I am at in life today, which means I smile more, laugh more and love more.

Children thrive on laughter, love and smiles – all they need is attention. This true inner happiness will be something that someone else, maybe a man? Will enjoy one day about me, but for now I am just taking it one day at a time and hoping that everyone who is in my life at this moment enjoys the person I am today, tomorrow and years ahead. I know I am and I will.

Do Those who Do what they love for Work Tend to be Happier?

I have noticed I tend to be happier because I do what I love each day for work and life, do you think that is the case for most people in this world?

If someone does what it is they enjoy and love in life, do they tend to be happier and funner to be around?

Soaring Beyond Limits

She stares at the walls where a quote is hanging that is telling her some positive inspiration about life, to live it simply and to love hard or something like that. All that she can think is that she needs faith now more than ever, she needs a sign from God, a sign to figure out if her logistically mind or hurt heart is telling the truth. Which one should she listen to.

She always felt that being happy was the most important thing in the world because that is really all that matters when it comes down to it. The problem is that she isn’t sure if what makes her happy will ultimately make her world spiral downward and although she has faced challenges head on before, she isn’t in a position to be ready to face them just yet.

Fear sinks in. Fear of the unknown outcome. Fear of the unknown answer between the fight of the mind and of the heart. Once she followed her gut instincts and it led her to a world of utter happiness but her fear of being alone fed her fuel to make bad choices, leading her back to where she was once before.

The smiles. The happiness within. It all fades slowly when one doesn’t follow the path they know is right for them. She knows this. She could advise anyone else on what to do, hell she can even tell herself what to do but something is keeping her from doing it. The fear of everything crashing down is the only answer she can find.

But really, would everything come crashing down if she was at her true level of inner happiness? She thinks not. She thinks that when one is at their peak of true inner happiness anything positive is possible. The power of the mind will set her free and soon she will soar, yes it may be soaring downhill at first, but before she knows it she will be soaring up to the sky beyond limits that she never thought she would reach beyond.