I happened upon this song on YouTube and it’s actually funny, a stay at home Dad rock song about being a stay at home Dad. Seriously, check it out …..

There are a lot of stay at home Dads these days and just thought this was rather cute! I mean I can relate as a mom too but how many of you are stay at home Dad’s can appreciate this song? What do you think Moms?

Oh the things I find on YouTube!

Whether you are looking to fix a relationship, solve a problem or deal with step parenting; communication is key to an amicable resolution. Blended families come in all different sizes, shapes and colors. A blended family may be that of a step mom or step dad with a birth mom or dad.  A blended family may be adopted children with biological children or something in between those examples. No matter what type of blended family you are, challenges may arise.

It’s tough to raise children in a biological family setting but it can be even harder in a blended family environment. When you give birth to a child you are planning on loving that child and protecting that child no matter what, it can be hard to step back and allow a step parent to come into your life and implement your agreed upon discipline tactics. As a parent we tend to be very maternal or paternal with our children in some cases extremely so. Marrying another person who is not a biological parent of your child will make you rethink parenting, you will have to let go and realize that the step parent is in love with you and your child. The step parent wants the same thing you dream of; a happy, safe, loving environment that your child can flourish in and become a mature adult with good morals, attainable life goals and a well balanced emotional state of mind.

The child of a step parent may not be open to having this new “parent” come in and tell them what to do, give them time outs or take away special privaledges. It is up to the biological parent to work with both their child and the step parent to ensure both are aware of what is expected from each of them and assist in developing a level of respect between the two. It is normal and to be expected that a child will feel confused about the divorce or separation of their biological parents, during the transition process of welcoming a step parent into the picture each adult should tread lightly but firmly to crete an easy transition for the child but also allow the child to understand he/she must respect this new family member.

If you are at a loss for how to involve your new partner into your child’s life, seek counseling. A counselor will be able to provide an unbiased view of each adult in the household and evaluate the child’s emotional state of mind. A counselor will be able to guide you through this transition process in a way that will benefit all family members involved. If you are opposed to involving a “stranger” in your lives, maybe you can find a mutual friend or family member who will be willing to lend an ear and a helping hand for this sensitive situation.

Whatever method you choose to determine how this new family member will be involved in yours and your child’s life you must remember to keep the communication open in the household. Your child has a voice and needs to feel safe and secure expressing their opinions and concerns in a productive way. As the parents you must create an open communication environment which means leading by example. A step parent and a parent should communicate in the same way they expect the child involved to communicate or else the child will feed off of how the parents react to situations and this can create an eruptive situation which could cause the blended family to fail in the long haul.

That is how it feels most days. I have two kids to bring to school every day of the week, except my oldest who is brought by her father two days a week. Then I rush home grab my coffee and hop into the office to work til about 12:30pm. Then I have the afternoon with my youngest to spend running off his energy {and mine}. Then off to get kids from school and three days a week is soccer with one other day cheerleading. It seems I am running around like my head is cut off four days a week.

Finally Friday comes and no sports but of course there’s school and it’s Friday “Mom” so oldest wants to stay up and hang with me, I want to work but I want the time with her too. She goes to her Dad’s every other weekend so the weekends she is home are important to me.

I love it so much when my daughter’s father laughs out loud at me about my memory failing me and how overwhelmed I get. I mean seriously, he has ONE child and she is like the eeasiets child in the world so how can he LOL at me? I would love to see him live in my shoes for a few weeks non stop boys and dealing with AJ’s aggression some days. It’s no piece of pie I tell ya.

I am not complaingin by any means, I do realize one day I will miss this hectic life and not know what to do with my free time but some where, some time soon I need to realize that I am just as important as my children and get away some how for a night off. I really feel myself sinking deeper and deeper into this state of mind that makes my life feel like I am drifting along with no real emotion or anything in life. That isn’t healthy and it’s damn right scary to me.

So … as October 28th nears and I realize I will be 30 only once in my life, I plan to get away. Maybe rent a hotel room or something even if I am all alone just so I can have some peace and quiet for my birthday.

It’s like I need a kick in the ass to get out of my house. I swear I am such a home body it’s not even funny. I would rather have company over, big BBQ’s and bonfires yet when it comes time for me to get out to visit someone else, I shrug my shoulders and just don’t want to go.

I recall when the boys father and I started dating that he played in a band on weeknights and I was prego with Aj so I could get out on the nights to see him practice when Ki was with her Dad. I always wanted to go, was totally game for it until it came time to actually put my feet out the door. J had to boot my ass out of the door because I would just get so nervous about going. Of course, I had a blast and enjoyed it when I got there, it’s just that initial kick I need to get me headed there.

As I sit around with children all week and all weekend long I find myself reading a good book and wishing I had that life, the grandparents that took the children so you could work on your relationship and keep it strong. The in laws that help you out, mine lived too far away to help although if they had been closer they totally would have helped us out.

I just long to have someone I can call up and say “hey can AJ and K sleep over tonight, I need some time alone?”. I don’t have that. Never have. No wonder marriage failed, I mean what marriage would succeed in the long run when intimacy and passion is important to you? Sure if you can stay in the mindset that “we are raising children now & our time comes later” then you can succeed in marriage, but when you are like me and it’s vitally important to have alone time with your loved one, it’s extremely difficult to not fail.

So .. I am at the point where I need a break but yet I can’t really get one and when I do get the time to get away I just don’t want to leave.

Today I have more realistic wishes for my dream birthday present gift ideas! Today I want to request that someone purchase some organizing tools for me and to start off I would love to own a fire safe file cabinet box so that I can not only keep important paperwork but pictures that I can not replace.  I also want to keep all documents for clients in my fire safe file cabinet because my small box just isn’t doing it any more …

Next I would love to have some shelving for me to place books and binders on. I am a huge fan of using binders for my documents such as client data sheets from my virtual assistant business and also I love to keep track of hours in my binder as well as in electronic form.

I would like to think these two items are more realistic than yesterdays dream gift wish.  These items will serve a purpose rather than a pleasure, although I am addicted to keeping organized so they would be fun for me.