Everyday Brings More Challenges

The past year has brought on so many changes as well as challenges, I survived another difficult winter season full of my own mood swings and sad times. It’s true, I suffer deeply in the Winter months from mood issues. With the lack of sunlight Winter brings upon us, I always find myself struggling. This scenario gets worse each year, based on what others say I think it’s called Seasonal Depression. You can imagine how difficult it is for a positive person to suffer from that, it’s like an extreme opposite of my norm and makes life hard especially while trying to remain to be a positive influence and example for my children.

Winter is over though. Each day I wake up to warmer days and the warmth fills my soul with happiness. I find each day I get happier and happier.

Then things happen. It’s like as the season changes my mood is better, more positive and I feel closer to who I really am. That part is wonderful, the part that is difficult is that each day I get closer to getting more work done, having a steady work schedule and seem to be making head way with life; my kids get sick. Like today, all three kids are home sick and I have a ton of work to do. Money is needed and today was my day to create a new website offering some unique business services and website content; a site selling myself and content in a way that I have always wanted to do – focus on marketing and content sales.

Instead I spend today sitting on my laptop trying to find some positive in today. The rain outside is making it dreary, the kids with fevers make me fear getting sick and I just wish I could curl up in bed to sleep. Winter was rough, I just would like to have a few weeks of Spring being happy with little to no stress, but that’s not how my life ever works. The reason I am strong is because I have to face new challenges every day, or at least every week brings a new challenge.

I will survive this, but I am struggling. I think time away will be beneficial for me. I long to have one night away, in a hotel or motel, away from the challenges life brings so I can just sit and be me. No one to answer to. No one to talk to. Just me. Alone. Reading a book. Singing to myself, sleeping. Whatever suits my fancy.

Cheers to getting some me time soon and kids getting better quick!

The Time I had The Most Blog Traffic

Since blogging is what I do for a living, there are times I revisit my traffic analytics. I like to see when I had the most traffic on my blogs, for what reason and make business decisions on what topics I may address based on the data I collect. With that being said, the one time in all my five years of blogging, that I had the most insane traffic was … during my divorce.

Seriously.

It’s no surprise to me that with today’s hit television series being that of reality based life, with a tad bit of insane drama added in to make the plot a bit more entertaining, that my divorce scenario fed so many interested souls. The funny thing is? My divorce wasn’t really dramatic, my feelings and rationalization of whether it was the best decision or not was a bit to read and follow along with. I can say it wasn’t an easy decision by any means.

But my divorce had no drama.

So what in the world compels people to read about other people’s sorrows? I can get insane traffic during a so-to-speak hardship time in my life but when I am sharing utter happiness and spreading joy, it’s as if I can hear crickets on my blogs. Don’t get me wrong, I still have good traffic stats, I enjoy the readers who stop by to comment or click an ad here and there. I love seeing those in my analytic stats, but I am left wondering …

What Makes People Read Blogs

What is it that people thrive to read on blogs?

I read blogs. What compels me to continue to read on a site or an article I clicked over to? Is it drama? No, not really. Is it personal stories? Yes, usually. Is it giveaways? Well, duh, I like to win.

What keeps me reading a blog?

The passion behind the words. You know and I know when someone is writing fluff just to get a rise out of someone and gain some traffic to their site to earn some ad revenue and negative exposure to “keep em talking” and in turn, keep that blog running financially. You know and I know when someone is writing from the heart. Words that speak to you. When you read their blog posts, you can just feel their passion in the words and the rhythm that they publish their posts.

Passion is what sells people. I am convinced. It’s not drama, not negative scenarios; it’s plain and simple – passionate bloggers who write during their most emotional time of a situation are what bring readers in.

We are humans, we enjoy feeling something when interacting with others – that goes for reading blogs, talking in person or over the phone.

So there you have it, I am convinced readers keep coming to blogs because they can feel something when reading that person’s blog post, whether good or bad is irrelevant, we simply like to feel that passion & emotion behind the written words.

Why is it So Hard for Many to Just Be Happy?

What others do is none of my business. In all reality, whether another person chooses to lead a life of happiness or sadness really shouldn’t bother me. The thing is, that it DOES.

I have had so many bad things happen to me, when I have been asked to share my story with others. The story of where I have been and come from based on my own experiences of life, my view of it. I am often praised for not having such a bitter, negative taste in my mouth about all of the crap I have been through. Some crap was my own fault, other crap was the result of my bad choices and other crap was just because of how I happen to view the scenario.

I make a conscious choice to be happy each day.

I make a conscious choice to live my life happy.

I make a conscious effort to ensure no one else can bring me down.

I make a conscious effort to uplift and help others when I can.

I make a conscious effort to walk away from those who have such deep wounds that I can’t help them.

You see, I love being happy and of course that means I want to do all I can to help others be happy. The truth is, just like I recently told someone close to my world – you cannot help others who won’t help themselves. It’s not our place to fix anyone else. We can simply be here for them but make a conscious choice to walk away if the situation calls for it.

There are so many of my online friends who make similar choices to me; to lead a happy life, to be happy based on our own person. Happiness is found within and so many of my online friends agree. Yet, there are a small few who don’t see it that way. It’s like they say they are trying to be happy but “everything goes wrong” or they are trying to be happy but “everyone doesn’t get them”.

I mean seriously …. if you are honestly trying to work on yourself, then like a close friend on Facebook stated the other day, you cannot be completely happy until you work to heal wounds deep within yourself. It’s one thing to choose to be positive and lead a happy life, its another thing to be completely, deeply, spiritually happy within. To be completely positive and happy you must face demons within, move forward from the hurt inside and YES a lot of times this means therapy.

If you cannot face your past hurts then you are not going to be able to fully move on in life. Make a concsious effort to work to heal those wounds, you won’t regret it! It will be difficult and you will shed a lot of tears but the end result will be so worth it ….

You Made Your Bed, But you Hurt Your Kids

On a somewhat wacko mission to hurt the relationship between a father and his children, a mother took the initiative to say and do bad things in front of her children. The mission of an ex, especially one who made the decision to leave the marriage, to break up a relationship between her children and their father due to her own insecurities and issues is so completely immoral and wrong. The problem is that television reality shows and social media accounts like Facebook seem to breed lack of common sense and good character. Sure you can blame society for the reason many people have started to enjoy drama over peaceful bliss, but in all reality we are human beings not sheep. We have the voice of reason inside of our brains and we have the ability to be better than what society may push upon us; be strong, stand up and be something more than what society portrays as the next big reality show.

Co-Parenting Gone Bad

I’m a blogger. I love attention. I personally prefer positive attention, but just like my five year old son, some people simply prefer negative attention or any attention they can get. This is fine, as an individual, but when you have become divorced and are to raise children together with your ex amicably so as to not ruin the children …. then that is where you suck it the hell up and grow up, bite your tongue and be the positive influence your children need during this time of confusion. It may be difficult, but it’s not impossible to do.

There are many woman out there, men too, that when they get divorced they seem to think it’s best to have the children pick a side. This constant battle of Mom versus Dad is more common when the parental unit has moved onto greener pastures. The ex will say anything he/she can to make it so the children feel obligated to be unhappy at the other parents home and in turn choose to side with the parent mouthing the most flack about the other parent. There are situations where the parent being a wacko and causing a ruckus actually ends up having the pages turned on him/her and then the children choose the more “sane” parent.

In New Hampshire, you are obligated to take a Child Impact Seminar when divorcing, separating or breaking up and have children together. This Child Impact Seminar is slightly messed up in some ways, because just like the NH “pro family” mentality, the Child Impact Seminar simply covers the “how things should go” when co-parenting, rather than covering the major percent of divorcees situations. That means, the Child Impact Seminar can assist those who have a positive mindset to move forward for the benefit of their children, but those who are Drama Kings or Queens won’t benefit from this course at all.

Sadly, with the children who are pushed away from one of the parents leaves that parent to make harsh, tough love type decisions. Always try to work things out without stooping to the other parents level, but if all fails and you are unable to get the children to see that Dad/Mom is happy and that you want them happy with you and their other parent – then you have some tough decisions to make. If you are a parent who has your children half of the time, correcting a wacko parent’s mistakes is easily done. If you are someone who doesn’t have the children half of the time or more often than just a few days a month, then you are going to have an extremely difficult time correcting the methods of your ex spouse.

In times when the ex has made a pretty comfy bed for your children to pretty much disown anything to do with you, yet the children still come to visit because they have no choice but to do so, it’s time to rethink what’s the best to do for the children in the long haul of life. If you have moved on and are in a serious relationship, that maybe also involves children beyond your own, it’s also time to rethink what is best for them. Sadly, when an ex spouse turns your child(ren) against you and all that makes you happy, you have to do whatever is necessary to ensure your sanity. If children don’t see a parent for years because they have decided to protect the evil ex spouse, their other parent, then there is nothing that you can do to change that. A child is only going to see the world and their parents, as the remainder of the world sees them, when they are mature enough to understand life in a whole new light.

So if you are one of those ex spouses who thought it would be totally cool to turn the children against their other parent because you are not mature enough to handle your own insecurities in life, then that makes you pure evil. A child is innocent, and should never, ever have to feel that they cannot be happy for both of their parents and with both of their parents. Do me a favor, now that you have made your bed, lie in it for a while and see for your own self just how much damage you did to your children. Then, take a moment and look in the mirror – do you see a good person or a downright evil person? If you still can see a good person and think all of the crap you put your kids through was okay, then you may just be more messed up than anyone else ever thought you to be.

Moral of the story is this; just because a marriage failed does not mean co-parenting has to fail!

“Image courtesy of smarnad/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

Twitter, Facebook and Gmail Passwords are at Risk

Apparently there was this big hack and many passwords for Gmail, Twitter and Facebook have been leaked. This means on my fine Friday evening, I am not sitting here getting my reviews for Happily Blended written up, no I am sitting here telling you all so that you can change your passwords!

I don’t care if you have no “sign” of someone else knowing your login credentials but read this post and tell me you don’t feel as if changing passwords is worth it?

I just did it and you can too. It was a pain in the arse too, changing online then on my iPhone because you know, they can’t make this easy in our technologically driven world. It’s no more to just do something on the web over the laptop but you also have to ensure all of your other devices have been updated to new login credentials.

So get on it .. go make sure that your Facebook, Gmail and Twitter accounts are protected and safe! Change your passwords.

Oh .. and afterwards – go enjoy your weekend.