What Has Gotten into My Sons

Each day this Summer for the past couple of weeks my sons have been more and more aggressive with each other. They do this for fun, it’s not an angry fighting type aggression but it’s getting worse and worse. While rough and tumble play is good for boys, at what cost? These days I have been forced to dictate some major rules with their rough n tumble play time because feet kicking up at each other is not something I am okay with. My boys are going to be 7 and 5 this month and with that comes a jump in testosterone I am assuming because what else would cause complete ruckus like this?

My youngest, who has always been relatively easy. Spoiled. But easy to deal with. Is now the mean one who is often found instigating his older brother and hitting for no reason. This kid has multiple time outs, I am not a spanking Mom normally but I have even tried to spank his butt, one swift spank on the bum, doesn’t work. I feel consistency is the key, and so I feel comfortable with time outs, so I enforce those. Nothing sinks in with either boy.

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The almost seven year old is bipolar and his meds are new with a dosage still not 100%, so he was real rough for a couple of weeks. I can only think that my youngest is learning the behavior of his sibling. This is something that is not able to deter because they are together 24/7 and with bipolar comes behaviors that totally suck when a medication is not working properly. Right now, I think that my sons bipolar medication is good, at least his symptoms are showing improvement but after a few weeks of utter chaos, it’s going to take time and hard work to get the little one back on track.

I cannot leave the boys alone long enough to take a shower anymore. I cannot leave them together unattended playing together. I cannot do dishes and the list goes on. The only thing I can do lately is to simply focus on them. Do activities, try to ensure I am spending time with each of them as equally as possible while still tending and spending time with my daughter. The juggling act is getting harder as Summer comes halting to an end, but I am goig to do everything in my power to enjoy the next couple of weeks because after that? My baby heads to all day school and with that his siblings enter into their year of school as well.

I am sad that Summer seems to be ending in an overwhelming bang, but I am happy that I am trying my darnedest to focus on the good times and create more happy times than overwhelming ones.

The Kids Will Forever Come First

MOntshire Museum of scienceI am not one to be afraid to walk away from anything if it means that my kids and I will most benefit from a situation. You see, I am a huge promoter of always being at your best. I live my life to find my happiest place and to really know what I need to remain happy.

This is not to say I am not sad sometimes, that I don’t go through various forms of depression when things get extremely challenging. I am human. I am not perfect.

With that being said, I am queen of ensuring that no matter how hard something is to decide or to follow through with after a decision has been made, that I will stick with it and follow through. This may take a long time, sometimes years, but I do it.

IMG_20130315_150932In turn, my kids see that I always put their happiness {and mine as well as ours as a family} first. This is why my kids and I are so close knit, positive and outgoing. We just have this amazing dynamic and I will never, ever let anything come in between that to break it.

Think about the Mama Bear seeing you happen upon her cub, she will fight tooth and nail to keep that baby safe, even if you meant no harm. That is how I fight – to remind myself that others in our world may not mean harm to us, but as a means to continue to live in this happy rhythm I have worked so hard to create for my family, I will fight at all costs to ensure the balance of kids, family and adult time remains.

There is something about having that balance in your parental and personal life that really helps make things work well together. I love that my life  simply flows naturally, and that the kids are happy kids because of how hard I work to remain positive, happy and healthy!

Sometimes I Simply Forget Who I Have Become

Lately I have been in this funk, I keep saying my hormones are off. I cry at the drop of a hat and it’s difficult to find that happy thoughts place I always have been so good at finding. Then I had this lovely conversation with a Twitter friend, she reminded me what I have worked so hard to be all of these years, she reminded me that it’s simply a matter of taking back control of me.

You see, I do believe and have seen first hand, that thoughts can control you. Let’s say you think you have this illness, or maybe you think you are pregnant, if you keep thinking that way then your body will literally start to act as if you are sick or pregnant or whatever it is that you seem to think in your mind is going on.  That is the exact reason why I have been stuck in this hormonal rut, sure maybe something is going on with my body and I certainly will need to get to to a doctor, but I have fought off Generalized Anxiety Disorder sided with a cup of paranoia and horrible temper before, I can fight off the emotional roller coast my mind is taking me on for sure! No problem.

I can do this

I can do this, I can find me again and I can get back on track but in order to do so I have to do a bit of life clean up, this means removing once again any toxic friendships I have that help bring me down rather than up. I will succeed because I succeed at everything I put my mind to. I also need to start working out again, that really helps to boost the happy hormones!

 

Daughter Nominated me for President in Class

My daughter did some homework or it was school work, not sure which, but she nominated me as president. Me, the one who has anxiety attacks over public speaking but sure …. why not!

Either way, this was super sweet of her to nominate her “crazy” Mama for president, after all she is forever reminding me that I am a bit crazy.  What is one thing your child did to warm your heart recently?

The Mom Guilt Eats Me Up Everytime

I am someone who gets this guilt;

I yelled at my kids todayOh my gosh are they going to grow up with anger issues because I yelled one day out of thirty? Doubtful, right? Exactly.

Oh my gosh my kid has a sickness, could I have given them more orange juice or washed their hands more frequently or something to have avoided this horrible sickness? Doubtful, right? Exactly.

So  why is it so hard to believe that one of my three children could simply just have been born wired in a way to have a mood disorder? Why can’t I just realize this is who he is and I have been proactive in getting him into specialists for the past three years to ensure everyone was on top of his possible mood disorder.

I mean that is all one can do, fight as a parent for our child who can’t fight doctors and specialists for himself. I have done the best I can do and will continue to do the best I can do for my middle child.

After watching my five year old go downhill this past week and a half today is what finally hit me hard and made me want to just cry for hours. Instead I called @mommadjane and told her what’s going on and the funny thing is – she made me realize the good in what my son has and the good in the fact that I do have help and specialists are listening. Funny how I am usually the one trying to show MommaDjane the happy side of things and here I needed her on this day, but she came through and made me a little less sad.

So here we go again, I am wondering was it this or was it that? Is it how I felt when he was born? Is it the depression and how withdrawn from him I was when he was born? Honestly – NO – my sons counselor has assured me there is no way I could have caused a chemical imbalance for a mood disorder! It’s not possible! Even though that is relieving, I am still MOM and I still catch myself with those “what ifs” popping into my head every so often.

I just have to realize – this is not my fault just like it’s not my fault my sister has bi-polar – I didn’t cause my sister to be bi-polar although some days she would like to say it was me beating her up all the dang time as young children, it really isn’t my fault – no one “causes” a person to have a chemical imbalance which creates a mood disorder, such as bi-polar.

It’s not your fault, it’s not my fault — it’s just simply part of raising children – you take what you get and do the best you can with it!

Heading off to say that three times in the mirror so maybe I will believe it ;-)

Do Young Children Suffer from Anxiety?

I often find my eight year old having troubles sleeping, she will stay in bed but wake mid night without realizing why it is she is doing this. It is as if her mind is full yet she can not pinpoint one reason why her mind is full. As a worrier and a concerned little girl I can see that she would possibly suffer from anxiety at a young age as she is so much like me in trying to please others, worry about others and take care of others, however, I do not wish for my daughter to suffer from anxiety the way I did growing up!

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I spoke with my counselor I go see for the four year old and he did state that my daughter may have anxiety and as children get older it is common. Lately I have been noticing my four year old starting to suffer anxiety type of feelings, these feelings my four year old has often seem more about shadows, wild animals getting him and they seem to stem from dreams he has at night.

So why is it that young children can suffer from anxiety? Is it the idea of things unknown to them that would cause them such worry and concern and have your children ever suffered similar symptoms?