What’s the Key to Great Relations? Using your Heart Felt Words

Something that I am guilty of doing, quite frequently, is broadcasting things. It seems a lot of the times, mainly when life is getting more challenging for me, I speak out in this tone of broadcast journalist, versus a human being with feelings. That’s not to say journalists don’t have feelings, but they tend to report versus feel and report. In our personal lives we need to feel and report. Not just report.

I get stuck in the report area. All. The. Time.

Far too often I can be found ranting and raving about something and then pause to realize, “wait, I don’t feel anything with what  I am saying”. Thankfully I am getting better at noticing the difference between an overwhelmed version of me and the heartfelt me. There is a lot of things in life and relations that I am trying to evaluate if they are from the heart issues, deal breakers or just simply me taking something out on a person who is right there ready to be the venting box.

I firmly believe the key to any good relationship or friendship lies in the ability to speak with emotion backing the words.

For someone who knows who they are inside and out. For someone who knows deeply right versus wrong. Gut instinct versus hormonal imbalance. Then they will be more apt to speak with emotions versus just broadcasting, yet no one is perfect. It is so much easier just to rant and spout off the mouth about something that is bugging you, instead of sitting down and having a heart to heart moment.

If more people would simply follow their gut instincts, there would be less divorce and more love.

I think the biggest area people can benefit from working on within their own self is the ability to speak with gut instinct emotions based words rather than hormonal imbalance spoken words or words that are just broadcasted out there with no emotions behind them. I believe this with all of my heart, sadly life isn’t all black & white though, we have a lot of grey areas to think about. This means when you do finally realize that maybe your words did have valid emotions somewhere underneath, that you have to face reality with the decisions that you made.

Life isn’t easy, it’s a long journey of trials and tribulations. If you follow your gut instincts, mind, soul and body as often as you possibly can, you will see that life doesn’t’ have to be as confusing as you make it out to be.

My Teeth Are Paying the Toll for me Clenching Jaw in Sleep

I wake up every morning lately with my left side of face in pain. It feels as if I have been clenching my jaw in my sleep all night long. While I probably am clenching my jaw in my sleep, due to nightmares every single night. How do I stop this from happening?

During daytime hours I could chew gum, if gum didn’t bother my teeth as well. I could also be more aware of stressful/concerning thoughts that make me clench my jaw to help redirect thoughts and actions of clenching my jaw.

When I sleep though, I have no control over my mouth clenching down all night long.

So what does one do to solve this issue? Do you suffer from clenching of your jaw in your sleep??? What advice do you have for me to stop this pain from going on??

101 Questions about my Aunt Robin from the Five Year Old

My five year old, the youngest around these parts, was all curious the other morning before school. I actually had time to take a shower, so in the shower I went to get ready for school drop offs when my son came in with a marble. This pretty glass green marble. I am not sure where this marble came from but all of a sudden my five year old says

Mama I think this came from your friend, that friend who died. That gave you those statues you have in your bedroom.

It took me a minute to determine what friend I have had that died, because no friends that I know of have passed away. I asked him again who he was talking about and what statues, then it dawned on me. My son was talking about my Aunt Robin. When I was about five years old my Mom’s sister passed away. Even though I was only five years old my Aunt Robin along with my Aunt Michele used to do a lot with me. I have many memories still close to my heart, bright as day in my mind of my Aunt Robin. Which is funny because I actually have a horrible memory.

The statues my son was referring to are the Raggedy Anne and Andy ceramic figurines that I have. I have a lot in my home that used to be my Aunt Robin’s because family has given so much to me that was her along the years and I cherish it, it is kept out of reach and is something my kids know not to ever touch.

I went on to tell my son that the “friend” is actually my Aunt Robin and is also his Great Aunt. My son nods his head and then the conversation goes on for at least twenty minutes. Question after question about my Aunt Robin, some of which I couldn’t answer. I told him all about how his sister and I used to go up to Aunt Robin’s grave every year to pay our respects. Then I had to explain what “pay your respects” means. I then had to answer questions about death and what happens after they die.

This little man is obsessed with King Tut, so he wondered if Aunt Robin was a mummy? What happens to her body? What happens to her bones?

I was happy that my child was showing such interest in a woman who may have passed away many years ago, but is still held close in my heart every day. I answered all of his questions to the best of my ability and the conversation ended with him wanting to go to my Aunt Robin’s grave and leave flowers.

I firmly believe my Aunt Robin is watching over me and is making sure I am safe. I feel her daily within my heart and I know she is there, somewhere, somehow watching me grow each day. Watching my children grow each day. It must have been a little piece of her in my son’s mind that morning to get him to engage in such an in depth conversation about her. I sometimes wonder what my world would have been like if she had been in our world just a bit longer, she was one amazing woman with many talents but I do believe she is a part of my every day life, even if only in spirit.

My Rules for a Kid Sleep Over

My rules for the kids having a sleep over is pretty much; there are no rules. Well okay so they can’t go running around wild without any supervision from an adult, but for the most part there are no rules. In my opinion a sleep over is something that is meant to be a fun time for all. Between popcorn and movies while staying up later than you normally are allowed and then to sleep in the next day because there is no school is quite simply part of enjoying childhood.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a big kid at heart so sleep overs are a fun thing that I let my kids do, my younger boys have yet to have a sleep over but there day will come. For now the sleep overs really only apply to my social queen daughter who has had plenty of sleep overs. Being that my daughter is gone every other weekend and twice a week makes it hard sometimes to schedule sleep overs and her to have special fun time with friends or family alone, I try my hardest to give her some extra time with friends after school on occasion.

This week is the perfect example, tonight my daughter will have a friend over after school. Before my daughter left on Monday to go to school and spend two nights at her Dads she requested that I please try to setup for a friend or two to come over on Thursday after school upon her return home. I wasn’t able to get two friends but I did reach the Mom via text of her friend who comes over often and set up for that friend to come over after school.

For me, having friends over for play time and sleep overs really just helps establish that socializing outside the structure of school is important for children to grow. Children need not only grow in an educational way but in a social way as well. With sleep overs my child learns that she is to let the guest have first choice of activities, movies, etc and in turn she learns to let go of her leadership control skills. A sleep over and play time after school are great ways to encourage a bit of freedom and trust with kids while still monitoring them to ensure things don’t get too out of hand.

A New Year and Still Me

I wanted to write something like “a New Year, A New Me” but I am not new, I am still the same old chick. I have had tons of time with the lack of sleep in this household to really think about where I am at in life and business so that I can make some changes in both areas that I am actually 100% okay with doing. I feel more relaxed and focused, maybe it’s the lack of sleep giving me no choice but to think about my to do list and such, who knows.

I am excited that we are now in the year 2013, so many changes this year for me and while some are super scary, all feel so wonderful! I am excited to be moving forward in a positive direction both as a person and as a family and entrepreneur.

Now if winter will be over already I would be even more happy.

Is it Hormones or That Time of the Year

For the past month or less I have been really struggling with hot and cold changes in body temperature. Ups and downs in moods and crying at a whim. I am not that person. I am usually happy and if not happy per say, I am rarely ever sad or depressed. As the days grow shorter and the sun is around less and less, I find my body shutting down on me.  I am losing energy, losing spirit and simply just want to sleep.

Irritability set in at one point, but I think that was due to some pills I was trying for review on my other blog. I stopped taking them and do not feel as irritable. I do feel like crying more often than not. Honestly, if I had to peg what is wrong with me based on past experiences, I would say I was pregnant. No worries people, I am not pregnant, which is why this is even more mind boggling for me.

Never having gone through such hormonal mood swings and ups and downs it has me wondering what is wrong with my 31 year old self. Is it age getting to me, hormones changing due to having a hormonal daughter in the house? Is it simply that I have been working too much to support the kids? Is it simply due to lack of a good nights sleep due to the little one waking mid night often?

I am not sure what the answer is, but I do know lack of sleep and lack of sunlight may be playing a huge toll in the hormonal mood swings I am feeling. I just don’t want to go back to having mood swings, anxiety and paranoia like I did in my teen and young adult years. I wasn’t a good person back then and having these feelings brings back memories I have moved on from with therapy and would rather keep them there. No matter how much therapy one has had, the memory of who I was, keeps me from becoming that person again.

These hormones are really killing me, in an emotional way.

I haven’t ever been bothered by the change in seasons, other than I hate cold weather and snow, maybe my body is just growing older and lack of Vitamin D from living in New Hampshire all of my life is finally getting to me. I suppose, I should try to see a doctor soon because I am in control for now, but these hormones are really giving me a run for my money lately.