Everyday Brings More Challenges

The past year has brought on so many changes as well as challenges, I survived another difficult winter season full of my own mood swings and sad times. It’s true, I suffer deeply in the Winter months from mood issues. With the lack of sunlight Winter brings upon us, I always find myself struggling. This scenario gets worse each year, based on what others say I think it’s called Seasonal Depression. You can imagine how difficult it is for a positive person to suffer from that, it’s like an extreme opposite of my norm and makes life hard especially while trying to remain to be a positive influence and example for my children.

Winter is over though. Each day I wake up to warmer days and the warmth fills my soul with happiness. I find each day I get happier and happier.

Then things happen. It’s like as the season changes my mood is better, more positive and I feel closer to who I really am. That part is wonderful, the part that is difficult is that each day I get closer to getting more work done, having a steady work schedule and seem to be making head way with life; my kids get sick. Like today, all three kids are home sick and I have a ton of work to do. Money is needed and today was my day to create a new website offering some unique business services and website content; a site selling myself and content in a way that I have always wanted to do – focus on marketing and content sales.

Instead I spend today sitting on my laptop trying to find some positive in today. The rain outside is making it dreary, the kids with fevers make me fear getting sick and I just wish I could curl up in bed to sleep. Winter was rough, I just would like to have a few weeks of Spring being happy with little to no stress, but that’s not how my life ever works. The reason I am strong is because I have to face new challenges every day, or at least every week brings a new challenge.

I will survive this, but I am struggling. I think time away will be beneficial for me. I long to have one night away, in a hotel or motel, away from the challenges life brings so I can just sit and be me. No one to answer to. No one to talk to. Just me. Alone. Reading a book. Singing to myself, sleeping. Whatever suits my fancy.

Cheers to getting some me time soon and kids getting better quick!

The Beauty of a Good Mother/Daughter Relationship

I don’t have to even explain how close my daughter and I are. My daughter is 11 and was born 10 days before I turned 21 years old. I knew from day one the type of relationship I wanted to have with my daughter …

Beauty of a mother and daughter relationship

I could go on and on about our relationship and closeness but it really comes down to the fact that I AM A PARENT. My daughter can look to me as a true guidance in life, I am the shoulder to lean on, the ear to listen and the hug to fall into when having a bad day. I am the one who holds her accountable and teaches her to learn from mistakes.

MOther daughter necklaces

You could almost simply say; I am her guiding light in this challenging world she is growing up in. In all reality, I don’t have to explain because the image above is the gift my daughter gave me this Christmas … I think that speaks volumes for our closeness.

15 Hours Without Power

Last night our family was getting ready for our bedtime routine with the boys when BAM, flash, BOOM … the power went out.

My children do not sleep when the power goes out. I have emergency lights that are plugged into outlets so wen the power goes off they go flashing and allow for quick lighting, I have a ton of candles, which I quickly lit over the mantle. It doesn’t matter though, my children DO NOT sleep in their own bedrooms when there is no power. It simply doesn’t happen and it’s not worth the fight.

We had no power, no heat and barely any access to food because we had no way of cooking. Thank goodness most of us had already eaten something for dinner and we have a ton of water jugs for drinking water.

The kids realized that, while there was no internet, that my laptop worked and Minecraft was able to be used in creative mode without internet. The three kids bundled up on the couch and proceeded to just be silly having fun on Minecraft.

We laughed so hard, we smiled, we had fun.

Then it was time to wrap up for bed. I made a neat little bed on the floor of our bedroom for all three kids. With about 6-7 blankets the three kids snuggled up on our bedroom floor and kept warm overnight, when we woke up there was still no power.

Finally about 10am we got power back on. It was a long 15 hours but we made it and the house only got down to about  52 degrees which isn’t all that bad. Thank goodness it wasn’t below 0 outside or something, it is afterall Winter in New Hampshire – anything is possible.

In the morning, our neighbors brought us coffee and donuts from dunkin donuts, it was a pleasant surprise and really sweet gesture. I am thankful in times like these that we have the most wonderful neighbors ever and that we have each other – a very close knit happy family!

Nothing beats having power though … thank the Lord it’s back on!

I’m Going At this All Wrong

I had a total meltdown of hormones the other day. All over the fact that I am sad about Thanksgiving. I have my children this year so I shouldn’t be sad. I should be happy, right? Well family doesn’t ever really see my boys nor me so I thought it would be a great get together but that’s not how it is working out to be this year. The funny thing is that this is the first year that I will be with my boyfriend, we moved into a home we purchased in July. We started a whole new family together, meaning my kids, his kids and us. We are a new family unit and really should be thinking about our future traditions, things we want our kids to look back and remember. Maybe even instill some new holiday traditions for them to pass down with us and their children later in their adult lives.

Lee and I were talking about maybe doing something new for Thanksgiving this year, to start our own family tradition. I have so many traditions with just my kids that they are used to, such as we always go to York Beach, Maine in the Summer, we always pick and cut down our own Christmas Tree, we visit The Home of Christmas Spirit every year and the list goes on. I think it’s time for us to set some new blended family traditions that we can look back on and smile.

So while I am having a total down moment about all of the holiday fuss, I forgot that it’s not about that, it’s about who you are together with. The people who stand by you when you are down. The people who love you unconditionally and always. It’s about being together and so I am going to work on creating a new family tradition for Thanksgiving and move forward thinking happy thoughts instead of getting caught up in what can’t or won’t happen this holiday season!

Cheers to moving forward and being able to adapt to change in a more positive way!

Why The Show Parenthood Makes me Both Happy and Sad

I remember while growing up that I would spend Summers with  my aunt and uncle, sister and my cousins. We would have such a great time spending time together, doing fun things and enjoy being a kid. I remember having Christmas dinner, I remember going to Gram’s on Thanksgiving because that is just what everyone did. I loved seeing all of my cousins and family during the holidays.

Recently the man of the house and I decided to start watching the series Parenthood, starting at Season 1 and currently into Season 3. As we watch we both have feelings of happiness and sadness. You see, I have a huge family togetherness  and family does anything for each other mentality. It’s how I think, and what I believe in. The issue is that while I believe in all of that and want it badly, ever since I became a grown up, the family get together’s for holidays no longer happen. Slowly they fade away for one valid reason or another and leave my heart with a deep sorrow.

I want so badly for my children to have the experiences I had growing up, going to relatives for sleep overs and getting together with family during the holidays and while my kids sort of have that on their Dad’s sides, they don’t have it on mine. I long to feel as if family is family, what is used to be. Why is that people use the excuse that they are too busy to get together? I know that my family is truly busy and with Gram who used to do Thanksgiving every year, she has so much on her plate. I wish she didn’t because she should be able to sit back and relax by now. I don’t like seeing her work so hard, but again that is how my family is. If they need to work, they do. They get things done.

I just think in my own mind, that taking a break for a family get together is so worth it. Have a pot luck, get the family to pitch in and help. Have everyone come together more than once a year and just see each other, talk with each other and enjoy the news each of us have to share. I miss so much having my family get together. I do. And While we watch Parenthood,  the man and I get sad that our children don’t really have that with our family, we then realize maybe – just maybe – our children will be that for us.

I hope so much to grow up and be that mom to adult children who come home for the holidays bringing their families with them. I hope so much to be the person who drops everything to entertain family; laughing, bickering, snickering and just enjoying the love that only family can offer. I just have such a missing piece in my heart for myself and my children because they don’t get to experience my family in the way I did growing up. It should not be that way. It should be different but we cannot change the times, and so I keep hoping for the future to be different.

Merry Christmas From Me to You

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas…. I received a nice pair of boots from the Mom…

Boots for MVL Mom

And the daughter got me some coffee and slippers …. just what I needed/wanted…

Dunkin Donuts Coffee

Now my kids are all gone off to their Dads for the day and night to enjoy special time with their other half parent. I, however, am done with Christmas day and I think I hear my bed calling my name.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Day!