My Prayers Always Get Answered

The best job I have, is being a Mom. I adore being a Mommy and as I pray each night I feel God guiding me. I will listen to him and keep Faith for he has shown me signs that no other person will understand. I don’t always understand what God has in plan for me, but I feel his presence as I pray for guidance, strength and signs. Many of my friends who have Faith will understand, I am simply letting go and leaving my heart into God’s hands, he is guiding me and I believe there’s a positive reason for the direction I am being guided. I feel a weight lift off of me each time I let go and follow His signs. If I question his signs, guidance and strength, then I feel weighted again. Faith is an amazing tool that can question your world and heart. In all reality, it is super scary to follow what feels uplifting. I know many of the directions I am led through having Faith, don’t make sense to others, but all decisions make me feel very calm at the end of the day. I feel as if I am living with purpose now that I continue to pray and have become a believer in God.

Strength in Faith

I don’t pray for God to fix things. I don’t pray for God to make my life easier. I pray for strength, guidance and eyes to be open for the signs around me. I firmly believe that the signs I have seen have made this boulder lift off of my shoulder, I feel more confident in moving forward than I did before I started seeking guidance.  My brain was all over the board, if I spoke with a friend or relative who seemed to have that tone or look that they were not approving of my words or decisions, I would second guess myself. After all, my elders know best right?

I think God knows best. I believe He knows my heart better than anyone else. I believe my Aunt Robin watches over me too. I’m not saying you have to believe, I am simply sharing what I have seen happen for me.

I recently found myself questioning decisions I made a year ago and I was lost. I felt confused. I felt completely utterly hopeless for a bit. I blamed it on the Winter months, after all the long Winter with less sun really does play a key role in my moods but honestly, it’s something deeper than that for me. Or maybe it’s something more on the surface really. I am just not happy and in order to fully comprehend why and what I should do, I turned to my Faith.

I prayed. I Prayed hard. I Prayed every night. I prayed sometimes just to talk to God, just to speak aloud to him because I knew he understood. I knew he would guide me properly, with a clear head.

It’s scary letting go like that, but I will tell you I feel more confident and secure in some of the decisions I am about to make because I know He is leading me in the direction or at least he’s with me in my heart to keep me strong as I make my own decisions based on my deep belief in that each of us need to keep focus on our inner happy, even if that means being a Single Parent. I have seen myself as a single parent, and I am so much more confident, happier, and stronger. I think it’s time to let go and stop questioning where I have been guided, the signs are all around me. God has shown me many signs and it’s only when I question those signs that I feel that weight push down upon me. Whatever is going on, be it Faith or something else, I believe.

I believe. And I will follow.

“Image courtesy of franky242 /”.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

It is very true that actions can speak way louder than words. For instance, you can tell your kids you are appreciative of things they have accomplished but it means way more to them to get a big gigantic hug or have you do something special as a way to say congrats. Relationships with men or woman are no different, for me, I would much rather a person show me he loves me, cares for me, likes me than say it 100 times. Maybe it’s because I have heard how people “feel” far longer than I have seen it shown to me.

The issue with realizing that actions do speak volumes compared to three little words is that I am a person who has been told more than shown. So for example, if someone were to me show me that they care deeply for me, that I am truly important to them – it would make me feel great. And after all that is something I noted missing many years ago, but since I am a person who has been told how people feel without actions backing that up for so long, ever since I started dated as a teen, it would be a hard adjustment period for me I do believe.

The constant reminder to self would be needed that the actions of that person mean more than their words. That the fact that they take time to show me how they care means so much more. Love, life and relationships are such a hard part of this world and maybe that is why I spend most of my days making sure I don’t fall head over heels into some odd living situation again or some relationship just to be in one. I want real deal, the real feelings, a person who will do anything for me and I for them, because that is what being with someone is all about.

I want to know that he feels the same as I do, constantly waiting to hear from me, hoping their day is going well. I need someone who has their own life and ability to bring something more to my life; such as their own hobbies, parenting style or what not. It’s great when you meet that person for you, the one who can show you and tell you how they feel. That person who meshes well with all you have on your plate in life. That my friends, is what the dating world is all about. Do not settle. I settled before, and I refuse to ever, ever do that again.

Everyone in the dating world needs to realize that it’s best to be alone than to settle for someone who isn’t the right fit for you and/or your family unit.

Seeking Guidance Through God

I don’t talk much about religion for it’s all new to me. I wasn’t raised with a knowing and understanding of God and I am still learning. All I do know is that I have this faith that shines through even in the darkest of days.

Sure I have full days where I am in this funk and can’t seem to get out of it, but I have found if I can find the strength to pray at night and to thank God for another day of living, he guides me in ways I never thought possible.

Combined with my positive thinking, faith is really working to uplift me and it’s such a new thing that each day I struggle with believing but for me, this is a wonderful spiritual journey that I refuse to ignore.

It’s funny, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone the other night and I was actually giving her spiritual advice, as if I had been a Christian all of my life. The funny part about it was that she is usually the one giving me spiritual advice, so I guess when you do open your heart, good things come.

Now I am not writing this to push a message nor a belief and I doubt if this will become a regular topic for me, but it’s something that was on my mind and is really important to me during my trying times so I thought if it helped me, maybe someone out there can be helped by what helped me or lend me some advice while I travel on my own spiritual journey.

To Those Who Have Judged Based on The Past

Dear those who have judged based on past mistakes,

I understand now why you have always judged for mistakes people have made in the past, for you have your own demons and mistakes that have not been faced.  I forgive you for not allowing me the chance to show you who I am today, the adult and mother of three. I forgive you and I understand, but that does not mean I will take time out of my day to spend with you.

I need to focus on what makes me happy within and helping those who can help themselves. You see, no one but you can fix those issues you hold so closely to your heart. No one but you can make the choice to love yourself and everyone around you. I wish I could make all of those demons and negative thoughts disappear from your mind and soul but alas that is not my job nor could I ever fix another person, so please do not expect others to fix those issues you hold close. You are strong and no matter how much you feel the judgement that is placed is worthy, I know it’s not worthy for I have seen the power of an individual who wants to change.

I have seen a person who has made the most awful mistakes you could even imagine but they chose to accept them as learning curves, and to realize they don’t wish to make those mistakes again. So those who still wish to judge another person based on their past or what others rumor to be true about them, why not take a moment and look in the mirror for I highly doubt you will truly see a perfect human being in that mirror and hopefully you will come to realize that everyone deserves a chance to live without judgement.

Much love,

A person who faces demons/mistakes head on

P.S. For those who allow judgement to rule their life, please remember that you are worthy of loving who you are .. no matter what paths you have been down in life. Chin up, back straight and walk with confidence for you are trying to be a better person and that is all we can do … is try!

Don’t Go To Bed Angry

I hate when people can go to bed angry. For me, it is all about the fact that you never know when you will see this person again. Today is a definite and tomorrow is a day you don’t know that will for sure come. Why go to bed angry or leave someone angry?

Image: nuttakit /

I want to know that if this is someone I love that my last words to them were not that of angry or frustration because then I know who I am and I would feel so horrible about having those be my last words to them.

I am one who gets really mad and really over it fast. I don’t stay mad for long and I don’t hold a grudge. I am quick to get over it, even things that have been done to me that I should still be angry about or at least not like that person over, I find I don’ t care. I truly am over those situations.

I am a at peace with my past, present and looking forward to my future!

So are you a go to bed angry kinda person or would you rather make up in some way before bed?