The best job I have, is being a Mom. I adore being a Mommy and as I pray each night I feel God guiding me. I will listen to him and keep Faith for he has shown me signs that no other person will understand. I don’t always understand what God has in plan for me, but I feel his presence as I pray for guidance, strength and signs. Many of my friends who have Faith will understand, I am simply letting go and leaving my heart into God’s hands, he is guiding me and I believe there’s a positive reason for the direction I am being guided. I feel a weight lift off of me each time I let go and follow His signs. If I question his signs, guidance and strength, then I feel weighted again. Faith is an amazing tool that can question your world and heart. In all reality, it is super scary to follow what feels uplifting. I know many of the directions I am led through having Faith, don’t make sense to others, but all decisions make me feel very calm at the end of the day. I feel as if I am living with purpose now that I continue to pray and have become a believer in God.
I don’t pray for God to fix things. I don’t pray for God to make my life easier. I pray for strength, guidance and eyes to be open for the signs around me. I firmly believe that the signs I have seen have made this boulder lift off of my shoulder, I feel more confident in moving forward than I did before I started seeking guidance. My brain was all over the board, if I spoke with a friend or relative who seemed to have that tone or look that they were not approving of my words or decisions, I would second guess myself. After all, my elders know best right?
I think God knows best. I believe He knows my heart better than anyone else. I believe my Aunt Robin watches over me too. I’m not saying you have to believe, I am simply sharing what I have seen happen for me.
I recently found myself questioning decisions I made a year ago and I was lost. I felt confused. I felt completely utterly hopeless for a bit. I blamed it on the Winter months, after all the long Winter with less sun really does play a key role in my moods but honestly, it’s something deeper than that for me. Or maybe it’s something more on the surface really. I am just not happy and in order to fully comprehend why and what I should do, I turned to my Faith.
I prayed. I Prayed hard. I Prayed every night. I prayed sometimes just to talk to God, just to speak aloud to him because I knew he understood. I knew he would guide me properly, with a clear head.
It’s scary letting go like that, but I will tell you I feel more confident and secure in some of the decisions I am about to make because I know He is leading me in the direction or at least he’s with me in my heart to keep me strong as I make my own decisions based on my deep belief in that each of us need to keep focus on our inner happy, even if that means being a Single Parent. I have seen myself as a single parent, and I am so much more confident, happier, and stronger. I think it’s time to let go and stop questioning where I have been guided, the signs are all around me. God has shown me many signs and it’s only when I question those signs that I feel that weight push down upon me. Whatever is going on, be it Faith or something else, I believe.
I believe. And I will follow.
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