My kids are famous for getting songs stuck in my head and so I thought I would share with you just a taste of what songs my kids like to annoy me with so that all day long I get to sing these over and over in my head, creating a lack of focus but always remembering my morning with the kids before they went off to school…

Flobots – I can Ride my Bike with NO Handlebars

Taylor Swift – Mean

Selena Gomez & The Scene – Love you Like a Love Song

When times get difficult and I wonder where I will find the strength to move forward, I turn to music.

When faced with a situation that I know needs to be adjusted yet I can’t seem to find my strength, I turn to music.

When my backbone disappears, as it often does, and I am found having to stand up tall and strong but can’t, I turn to music.

I am one of those people who spends most of her life making sure everyone around her is happy. I am happy within when I see my children happy and I will forever live to keep my children happy, healthy, safe and loved but I shouldn’t be spending my time avoiding confrontations because I know what needs to be done.

I am strong in many ways, weak in others. It seems my weakness gets the best of me at times and when I sit down to think about this weakness, it almost sounds like an excuse. Anyone how knows me knows how much I hate excuses and I don’t “hate” much of anything. Excuses get to me badly, yet here I am using them.

Sometimes when someone is looking into your situation and is not inside of that situation nor has never lived it, they may not “get it” and they may place judgement upon you for being where you are in life. When others do not understand your situation then they place judgement out of confusion, it’s only natural. I am used to do it, but have learned to not do such things because after going through the various things I have in life, I am one to know that sometimes humans do things that make no sense to anyone else.

All I need is my strength back. I need to not fear confrontation. I need to live my life to the fullest not only for myself but for my children. My children need to see that when times get tough, I don’t give in – I get it straightened out.

I am a go getter in many areas of my life. I don’t put up with shit on many levels, but on other levels in life …. I just can’t seem to stand tall and firm in what I know to be right in my heart and mind. I wonder why that is?

It is extremely difficult to parent when your head is full of other things. I have learned that my issue now regarding getting my sons to stay in bed is that my mind is set on “it’s work time for Mama” instead of “get kids to bed now”, this means I get more overwhelmed, I am less apt to follow through and the boys know if they push hard enough and for long enough that Mama is going to have to sit to work so she will give in.

This past week I took time to get work done over the weekend so that I could devote 100% of my mind to getting the boys to stay in their beds. I needed my Mama rights back, I needed the boys to realize that while I love them dearly I mean business when I say it’s bedtime. There is to be no joking around, there is to be no hitting Mama and there is to be nothing more than two boys staying in their own bed falling asleep.

Once I was able to set aside a week of my time to deal with the boys and have no other thought about having to work I was better able to have a clear mind and be more efficient as a parent. It is amazing what a clear head can help you accomplish in parenting!

My sons still have moments where they test my weakness, but I stick to my guns and I have won this battle and am proud to say my sons, for the most part, are actually going to bed when they are suppose to! Next step: working on getting the boys to stay asleep all night long!

My two sons are forever keeping me on my toes. They say the darnedest things and so I thought I would share some of the things my sons have said that I had to fight back a giggle from or quite honestly sometimes I had to laugh out loud at them;

Baby K – Age 2 –

**His father tells him that he needs a cap for his drink & to keep it on the drink at a restaurant. Baby K replies rather quickly with “You need a cap for your mouth”.

**Sitting in a restaurant when I notice Baby K is staring in an evil way at another person in the restaurant. When I look back I see an older man with rather long hair. I say “K stop staring at that man”. Baby K replies “Mama him is a pirate .. argh matey” Of course his reply was loud as loud could be, hopefully that man glaring at me didn’t get offended. Come on dude he’s only two.

**Riding in the van and Baby K is being extremely loud, screeching so that his brother Aj can’t say a word because he can’t concentrate. Baby K gets told to be quiet. Baby K ever so loudly replies “You be quiet and shut your mouth”. May I add that he had an evil HAHA afterwards with a huge ass grin.

AJ – age 4 -

**Sitting in the bathtub getting all washed up before bedtime. He looks down and says “Mama I have a big penis”. A little back story; this is the boy who would always pull out his penis and wave it around as if it’s his prize possession back in the day of his 2 & 3 year old years.

**Attempting to get a cute picture of Aj (he normally hates pictures taken). I turn the camera and tell Aj to smile. Just as I click the button of the camera down comes his pants and, yeah … you guessed it, he mooned me and the camera caught the mooning part as if it were meant to be a picture of my four year old mooning me.

**“Mama what was I before I was born in your tummy”. I answer “well you were a tadpole I guess”. A couple days later he realizes something “oh no Mama, if I was a tadpole before I was in your tummy then I am going to turn into a frog”. Apparently tadpole wasn’t the proper response, considering during the time of this question we were raising tadpoles to frog stage.

So this are just a few, I wish I could think of the really awesome ones because these boys say the darnedest things daily. I must walk around with a voice recorder set to record all day long because that my friends would make perfect entertainment to play back at a get together with friends!

I daydream often about book ideas, even come up with whole pages of what the typed work would look like inside of my own head. The topics range from the most off topics that one would think I would write about to a more personal nature of my life growing up.

I do know that poetry has always been where my heart is with writing. Short stories for children is something that heavily interests me as well. I doubt I would be able to sit and write a great children’s book on my own that would utilize the correct word usage for young ones though.

Ideally if I were to write a book I would want it to be a more personal, life learning type of book. One in which people can love me, hate me and yet relate to me at the same time. I am currently reading a book that fits all of those feelings and those are the books that I can’t put down.

I can only assume that if I were to write a book about my life growing up as a teen girl that I would offend some people in my family because there is a lot that has happened in my life that clearly would be my side of the story. You see I am a firm believer in there is two sides to every story and should I start getting into my personal life I would dig up some subject matter that I have long put to the back of my mind in order to keep moving forward.

I haven’t completely forgotten all that I have gone through but I do think a little bit more clearly and openly about the situations because I am nearing 30 years old and have lived and learned on my own. I now can look back and understand why things happened the way they did and be okay with that.

For me, a story about the struggles I went through as a teen leading up to my underage DWI at age 18 would be a story worth sharing, one that would hopefully be shared with other teens, mainly teen girls, as a way to hear a personal story from someone who doesn’t regret & feel bad about what she had done but wishes to place a “what if” in the heads of teen girls to ensure that they try their best to realize how awesome they are and that drinking, drugs and sex isn’t going to resolve their own inner issues.

If I were to write a book, I guess a personal story would suit me best. That is where my passion would shine through my writing. Passion behind writing is what makes an incredible read!

P.S. Clearly if I wrote a book I would have to hire a great editor because I tend to ramble with run on sentences often