My Previous Attempts at Dating

having a Period SucksI have dated before, they lasted about three months. I met this one guy and he was super cool, we had a grand time hanging out and it was fun while it lasted. The guy wanted to move in way too fast for me, he wasn’t a father of his own children and well he also drank a lot. When I am around alcohol too often I will drink too often, it’s simply something I am aware of about myself ever since I got my DWI when I was 18 years old. Drinking is fun, I love to drink, however, there is a time and place for it. I have zero interest in drinking all night long to wake up and attempt to work while also taking care of my children; it’s just not a good scenario and reminds me of the book “Best Kept Secret” where the Mom had a drinking problem but she drank all of the time.  Another issue with this dating experience was that he had no children of his own; I do not care who you are but if you have never had your own children then you sometimes fail in the parental advice category. It seems, from my experience, that if you have never had your own child that you are full of all the “what I would do” scenarios and answers but honestly, again from experience, your mind is totally different after you have given birth or are raising your own children. That dating experience was a fail but we are still somewhat friends, rather acquaintances.

Then there were other people who I had met and it went no where. It seems men are either too far away and over look certain things that they really had on their list of “no nos” just for me which means it never works out or men just disappear.. I also disappear too. I think back to one dating experience and this guy and I never really talked about anything really important. I didn’t know a whole lot about him yet I adored him. I didn’t know exactly how long he had been single, hell I didn’t even know many if any of his hobbies, things that maybe made him “tick”. Yet with other men I have known within just hours of  a conversation every single detail about them.

After a few failed attempts at dating that idea went out the window and eventually wasn’t even a though in my mind. Sure I got lonely and I longed to have a conversation with someone other than my children but dating just seemed like it would take too much effort. So from meeting men who are jealous and possessive as well as looney in wanting to move in too quickly to meeting those who latch onto me with false hopes of something being more; I have met them all and now am just ready for that special someone to fall into my world and make it complete some day….


Alcohol Addiction is Very Serious

It is simply amazing how fast an alcohol problem can sneak up on you without you even realizing. Taking one sip of alcohol one night may feel great, relaxing and allow you to wind down in a way that you never were able to. Who knew the stress of life was so easily removed when that alcohol hits your heart and warms your soul, a smile is surely inevitable when alcohol is in your system.

There is a growing epidemic among moms in the world, we are turning to alcohol in small amounts through out our days as a way to feel more at ease, a way to get lost or simply a way to interact with other moms during play dates. One glass of alcohol may not place you over the legal limit driving your child home from a play-date, but are you really willing to take that chance? The Mom in Best Kept Secret did, she took that chance over and over. Even after someone stepped in and custody of her son was jeopardized this mom still didn’t realize that she had a problem.

I think it’s normal for any mom to think that a glass of alcohol here or there isn’t a problem, it’s a small amount and everyone else at the play-dates or mom get together were enjoying casual conversation over a glass of wine too. Other moms are hiding their alcohol problem, sneaking some alcohol in their coffee every morning, drinking after the kids are asleep in large consumptions and lying to friends and family about just how much alcohol they are consuming.

If you are a person lying to yourself and others about your alcohol consumption, you may quite possible have an alcohol problem. Take a look first at your family history, do you have a lot of alcohol use in your family genes? Alcoholics run rampid in my family and it’s such a hard thing to fight. I was told years ago that I pretty much have a 99.9% chance of becoming an alcoholic based on family history alone. Scary, right?

I have made my own mistakes regarding alcohol and I learn from them every time. I do not break the law when it comes to alcohol consumption, I hate hearing about drunk and buzzed drivers, and I get concerned when I find parents are getting wasted near their children. I am all for enjoying a glass of alcohol here and there, but when you have a true alcohol problem, it may be best to say goodbye to that alcohol for good.

Here are some tests to see if you may possible be addicted to alcohol:

  • Stop drinking even for one day, note how your mind and body reacts. If you can’t seem to get your mind off wanting that alcohol, you may have a problem.
  • Stop drinking for a few days, if not a week, do you start having withdrawal systems, such as shivers, anger and an uncontrollable urge to sleep? If you have any negative symptoms you may have an alcohol problem.
  • Are your friends and family concerned about you? Do you seem more withdrawn from society in a way that is negative? If you have any of these things going, you may have an alcohol problem.

While watching Dr Drew one night on HLN I found out that rehab was actually created for alcoholics, and that alcohol withdrawals can be more dangerous than any other addiction. I would love to one day share my story on alcohol and alcohol addiction, but that’s too much to share today.

If you or someone you love is struggling with using alcohol as a way to cope with life, whether in a hidden way or wide open for the world to see, please, I beg of you, find a way to step in and help them. The best way is not to tell them that they have a problem, because until a person realizes that they do have a problem on their own, there isn’t much you can do to get them to seek assistance or want to stop. Be the friend you should be and do your best to share knowledge about alcoholism and do it in a polite, respectful but “I mean business” and am concerned sort of way.

Sure there will be some hard roads when you or your friend stop drinking alcohol and go through  major withdrawal symptoms but the end result is sooooo worth it. If anything, get your friend to read Best Kept Secret because this is a fantastic, eye opening book for any one who has known, is struggling with or currently knows someone with an alcohol addiction. Oh and if your friend or you have a Kindle, Best Kept Secret is on the Kindle too. Out of all the books I read in 2011, this one struck a cord with me deep to my soul.

Being a Parent who Likes Alcohol

Alright everyone I have to get it out of my head because I’ve seen it on Facebook, Twitter and other people’s blogs … Moms who like to enjoy a drink and get wild every once in a while whether with their significant other (if they have one) or as a single person seem to get looked down upon. It’s as if there is a law saying “you are not to find a babysitter for your children so that you can go out and get drunk once in a while”. I mean really?

I recall a while back reading a status update from another friend on Facebook who actually said something about her getting a hard time from someone because she has a liquor cabinet because she is a Mom. The comment she stated on her FB page was something like “do we just throw out the alcohol when a child arrives”.  I can’t recall which friend it was but I remember thinking “are people really this way?” Are there really people in this world who were drinkers before kids were born that stop all of a sudden for the simple fact that they are a parent?!

I can understand slowing down on the alcohol consumptions, I can understand stopping if you have a drinking problem but I personally see absolutely nothing wrong with letting yourself go and enjoying a drink whether it is at a club, at a bar, at a restaurant or a couple drinks with friends & family at a BBQ. Who cares if you drink alcohol or not? Does that really make or break you as a parent? I think not.

I don’t usually hang out with people who do not drink at all because on a weekend, if the kids are gone or asleep, I may like to enjoy a good game of cards with a couple beers. I love Bud Light, but I rarely drink alcohol if I have responsibilities. You won’t find me drinking if there is not another adult, like the boys father, around or my sister around who isn’t drinking. I won’t get drunk when my kids are my priority either. It’s called being a parent comes first, but you can still have fun and enjoy a drink or two without being a bad person.

I used to get totally wasted, all the time when I was younger and now it’s few and far between that I actually get that drunk. A few beers and maybe a buzz on an occasion are simply something I enjoy. I drink so much water that I’ve never had a hang over and rarely do I get a chance to drink a whole bunch since having three kids because in all reality fun family things are more of my style now adays.

So … what do you think? Is it bad that a parent still enjoys an alcoholic beverage on occasion? Lay it on me, I want to hear it!

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