So the other day I was talking about shirts and my daughter, the conversation went on more that day about how she actually really does love her Mama because her Mama is the most amazing, awesome Mama in the world. I got an eye roll with that comment, but I expect the eye roll because she is heading into those tween moody years.

I went around the house pointing out pictures in photo frames of when she was little and smiling so cute on my lap and with her brother. I said “see there is proof that once upon a time you loved me so much and you loved your brother Aj too”.  My daughter replies with “ummm no I was just smiling a lot because back then I loved to smile”. I replied “ummm well why don’t you smile now?” She replied “I don’t know. I just don’t like to smile”. GASP …..

I could not believe that a daughter of mine would not like to smile, I mean seriously? How can it be. I went on to explain to my daughter that she should smile because a beautiful smile can go a long way. I also went to say I could weigh 400lbs and no one would notice as long as I had a beautiful smile. She rolled her eyes and said that’s not true, but I beg to differ.

I think that beauty holds no weight, holds no boundaries and is more than skin deep. I believe that true beauty is the willingness to simply love life and smile all of the time. That is why I think of others as beautiful or handsome, because of the happiness I feel radiating from their smile and attitude.

So I had to remind my daughter, yet again, what really counts in life – to be happy and let no one bring you down. Maybe, just maybe it sunk in today.

After reading many articles about how cheating made people’s relationships stronger, I have to ask; is it really ever okay to cheat on a spouse? One with a guilty conscious could not cheat and truly lie about it, but what if you are honest and your spouse forgives you. Forgiveness is a powerful tool and the communication between you and your spouse about why this temptation became action could truly create a better bond. You see, most cheat for a reason, it’s an an underlying feeling of lack of importance in the relationship or that something is missing.

While I personally don’t feel deception solves anything, and I do feel if you have cheated on your current spouse then they have a right to know the truth I have seen deception work magic on some marriages. You would be surprised what one can handle if they truly love you when you are honest with them.  Some say that having an affair helped them gain courage to open up about what they needed in their marriage while others said it helped get something they were missing in the marriage.

To answer my question, is it every okay to cheat on a spouse? I say no, but ultimately it is up to you fight the temptations that walk into your life and make decisions based on what is best for yourself. If a marriage isn’t working, it is 50% your fault and 50% the spouses fault; they say it takes two to tango, well it also takes two to not tango.

Do you get what I am saying? So have you ever cheated and how did that work out for you?

Story continued from yesterday …

Within a month of graduated high school, Rena ended up losing her job, which meant she would lose the vehicle her family had co-signed for during her high school senior year. Rena was quickly disappointing her family and her mother pretty much disowned her and stated she wasn’t allowed on the property until she got her act in gear. Rena want on to get an underage DWI and had to attend a course that cost her around $500 total. Rena was also required to get an SR22 which cost around $1200 a year in order to get her license back after the 6 months suspension. Alone, without a job and watching as most of her so-called friends disappear as fast as her money, car and freedom did, Rena decided she would take this moment to make something better of herself. Rena would work hard and build her resume up so that she could have one hell of a job and get one hell of a life started for her.

One fine day during the Summer before her 19th birthday Rena started wanting a family, she really loved children and knew she would make a much better mom than her mom ever was. Working at a local gas station as a cashier she met someone and he was really cute. This person wasn’t from her town and she knew because he never grew up here that he just might fancy her and love her in the way a man should. They went out, and what do you know? This man took Rena to a party where there was lots of beer, Rena may have had an alcohol problem because back then she would drink until she threw up or past out, whichever happened first. The man was really good to Rena though, he took her home and tucked her in without even getting so much as a kiss from her. When Rena woke the next morning she had an awful hangover and thought she should have drank more water before bed after her night of binge drinking. Rena also recalled the man who took her out and wondered if he even liked. This man hadn’t tried to have sex with her, he hadn’t even tried to kiss her, surely this meant the man wouldn’t be stopping by to see her anytime soon.

Little did Rena know, this man was actually a true gentleman and she would fall in love with this man. This man would fall in love with her. They had amazing sex, he supported all of her decisions except her bad habit of smoking cigarettes. They worked together as a team and enjoyed the company of one another. He didn’t request too much of her and she accepted his love as is. The two started spending every waking moment together and within just a few months they signed on a lease for a one bedroom apartment together.

That is all I have written as of yet… what do you think? Critique my writing please!

Okay so I am pretty outspoken, flirtatious and well a very passionate person. I mean no harm when I am like this, obviously I am not going to go hit on some married dude, nor do I really go out of my way to flit with men. The problem that makes females look at me oddly is that my personality is super bubbly most times and that type of personality, at least with me, comes off wrong, completely 100% wrong when speaking to the opposite sex.

It’s funny because I recall when traveling to an event that I had to remind some males that I am not hitting on them if I brush my hand on their arm or tap their shoulder or even give them a hug. I am not really that type of person to really think that because I just hugged you we have to go have sex now. I mean seriously, we are living in reality right?

I get it, I do love flirting with people and if they flirt with me I am bound to flirt back, but that’s it. I have boundaries and even though I am very deprived in the affection area I am not desperate.  Even when totally 100% drunk off my butt, I still won’t give it up so to speak unless obviously I was planning on doing that in the first place. LOL

In all reality I have kids and I have a business to run, I don’t have room to go off running around with men. I have little interest in being with any man because I have too much to deal with without thinking about a relationship. I need my life in order before any major relationship issues are handled or even figured out.

Right now … I just am getting really sick of the idea that men seem to think I have “hit on me” written on my forehead, I guess when I am 80 I will miss these days of men thinking I am hot in Pajamas, no make up and hair a mess, but right now I just don’t have time for the pick up lines – been there done that.

You know the old saying “if they get the milk for free, why buy the cow” or something like that, right? Well basically that goes with relationships, sexual in nature. If you are allowing a man to get a piece of you and yet he never has to commit then why would he ever commit? I mean don’t get me wrong, I have read some stories about the lover turned spouse, however, those happy go lucky stories are few and far between.

With movies like Friends with Benefits and No Strings Attached  as well as reality television glamorizing sexual only relationships it’s no wonder most young adults and teens think that sex is all you really need in life, don’t worry about the commitment part.  I am a firm believer that it comes down to parenting to teach children about relationships and sex without commitment but the media doesn’t help make parenting any easier.

I loved the movies I referenced, however, it gets to a point where some young, beautiful single woman start thinking how awesome that type of relationship would be. You can have the freedom to be classified as “single” yet get laid whenever you want essentially. The problem with this scenario is that emotions get involved, regardless of who you are or how strong of a person you are! Physical attention and emotions almost go hand in hand, unless you have been so severely hurt in a past relationship that you are almost dead to the idea of any commitment.

I think that eventually sex with no strings attached will deteriorate a woman’s self esteem. Yeah you may feel hot n sexy as well as wanted, but in the long run you will eventually feel as if you are not good enough for the commitment part and start wondering what is wrong with you. In all reality there is nothing wrong with you, everyone is worthy of true love and a committed relationship. Stop putting yourself out there in a sexual way to gain the sexual only attention. Make people realize you are wroth more and you want more. This isn’t going to be an easy task but you don’t want to be the home-wrecker or the person who people know they can get a quick piece of ass from anytime they want.

Make yourself held to a higher standard and realize that in doing this you will get more rejections than not but in the long run you will see closing your legs and standing your ground with what you want in life will pay off!