Today I really had to get some groceries since I hadn’t gone in a couple of weeks the food was running out and I knew I didn’t want to go during the week with three kids in tow. I decided I didn’t really care to go by myself either and so I text my sister to see if she wanted to venture to Walmart with me for some groceries…. she text back that she wanted to go but she was at her boyfriends house. I said they both can go and that I had no problem driving 15 minutes out of my way to get them!
The adventure began when I picked them up at the apartment …. they were fine in the car, I bitched, my sister bitched and her boyfriend just sat in the back probably wondering why in the hell he decided to ride with two chicks to Walmart … not to mention two sisters frustrated with life!
We got to Walmart and sis gave me shit because I was too busy texting with a friend that I took a minute to get my car locked up to get out of the cold weather. We got inside and grabbed two carts. All was fine … until we hit the area with cakes. You see today is my father’s birthday and sis wanted to get him or bake him a cake … so she called him to find out what cake he wanted meanwhile I remember something about credit cards and her wanting a hot man … dunno ….
We moved on from that and proceeded to grocery shop while I got to listen to them talk about various sexual things and make everything into a sex related joke. I am not kidding, my face was pretty much RED the whole time in Walmart but I was laughing too! They were not quiet about it at all the whole store was staring and some customers even thought it was hilarious!
I decided I needed to get batteries … now I know never to attempt to buy batteries while shopping with them, because it was then that my sisters boyfriend who I thought was the quiet type spoke up. Oh it was on key perfectly … something along the lines that I needed batteries for my vibrator. Mind you I haven’t told them if I own one or not but seriously … loud as loud can be and some customer perked right up and stared at me the rest of the time. I DIED … I think at that point I was ready to crawl into a hole and run away from Walmart never to be seen again.
What can I say? The Eastman sisters grocery shopping with a man leads to an experience worthy of a few tears, red face and the wish that I had gone grocery shopping drunk…. with my designated driver!
