Have this wish I wish tonight ….
Please allow me one night of extreme silence
To read a book or lounge around
Please let me be free one night
To sulk and eat ice cream in delight.
No children around to beg for my food
I think this wish would be really good.
Please oh please I wish I may I wish I might
Have this wish I wish tonight….
Mama is ready for a break before midnight.
My life is so chaotic lately that I feel as if I am walking like a zombie. Maybe my day isn’t really happening, I feel as if it’s a daydream. You know that dream that occurs over and over and you can’t seem to get rid of it. I would rather call it a dream because it’s motherhood but sometimes I feel as if it’s close to a nightmare. Between the sleepless nights and the constant 100mph running of my two sons I can’t determine if this is real or fantasy some days.
I truly never thought raising kids would become such a battle. I never thought working from home would mean I would be doing a balance act every single day of my life. I feel as if I slept walked through most of my sons lives because it has been so hectic. A divorce, a few moves, everything is almost subliminal to me at times.
I sometimes wish I had a stronger person than me around to pick me up during those weak moments so that I no longer feel like a walking zombie, unable to feel emotions, unable to smile and unable to remember a simple memory such as what I had for breakfast that morning.
This Fall I will have two kids in school and only one home with me, I am hoping this will help slow me down a bit so that I can focus on catching up on sleep and work.
My sons are now officially three and five years old. They both had birthdays within a week of each other. That meant lots of frosting for Mama, forget the cake, give me frosting and I am a happy Mama!
My three year old only wanted cake and ice cream, no presents for his birthday.
My now five year old son wanted all sorts of things, mainly video games and video game consoles he saw at Walmart. I think the Wii and Nintendo Gamecube is enough for us! He received a 17″ bicycle with training wheels and has been going up and down the driveway like a pro!
I can’t believe how fast time flies, it seems just yesterday I was nursing these two over 9lb babies and giving them Mama love. Now they are growing more independent and don’t need their Mama as much.
My Mom has three English Mastiffs and they are big, sweet babies, however, they are not used to being around my wild children. They have done super well this past week with the kids and I have been trying to capture some images of them around the house. Basically when they are inside they are lazy and ready to sleep.
I feel bad because one of my moms dogs was the sweetest ever, her brindle looking English Mastiff but he went to another home and came back aggressive. The awesome thing is he is real sweet with the kids and me. Loveable pup for sure! Here he is trying to play Memory with us.
I love these dogs dearly but my mom will be home soon and taking at least one if not two with her back to where she is living. I am currently at her home so we had a blast spending the week with them while their Mommy was away!
The other day I was on my Swagbucks page when I realized that you can get Swagbucks by printing and redeeming coupons. I was game for that because after all I am saving up my Swagbucks for a cool prize or trade in for $100 PayPal cash!
So I was sitting around earlier today when it dawned on me that I could let the boys run around outside while I cut coupons on the patio table up on the deck where I would be able to keep an eye on the bike and dump truck racing kids.
Apparently the boys knew I had a plan and so I didn’t clip my coupons today but I plan to over the weekend and use them so I can get my Swagbucks account up higher than the 913 it is at now!
Love how the kids always seem to want the most of Mama when Mama is trying to accomplish something, you see when I am sitting around doing nothing and want to hang with them they would rather be away from me.
When I am having a rough time with life I turn to country music. The problem with turning to country music while having a rough time is that this music tends to make me cry. Why a person would want to turn on the sound of music that makes them weep when they are already down and out baffles me. Upon analyzation of my own actions, I determined country music lyrics are something I can relate to. Almost every country song has a story behind it that I can find in my past and either weep or laugh about.
Most country songs remind me of my father, times with him growing up. While some love type country songs make me wish a man would dedicate that song to me, or sing it to me if they feel that way too. Then there are the country tunes that make me sad wishing that I could have done something different or bring back memories of a time when life was a tad bit easier and I took that part of my life for granted. Whatever the song is, I surely can relate to it in a personal way when it’s part of the country genre of music.
Singing the words aloud always clears my mind. A good cry, a good country song and a tall glass of water usually turns a bad time into a great time for me and allows me to move forward in my life!