Alcohol Addiction is Very Serious

It is simply amazing how fast an alcohol problem can sneak up on you without you even realizing. Taking one sip of alcohol one night may feel great, relaxing and allow you to wind down in a way that you never were able to. Who knew the stress of life was so easily removed when that alcohol hits your heart and warms your soul, a smile is surely inevitable when alcohol is in your system.

There is a growing epidemic among moms in the world, we are turning to alcohol in small amounts through out our days as a way to feel more at ease, a way to get lost or simply a way to interact with other moms during play dates. One glass of alcohol may not place you over the legal limit driving your child home from a play-date, but are you really willing to take that chance? The Mom in Best Kept Secret did, she took that chance over and over. Even after someone stepped in and custody of her son was jeopardized this mom still didn’t realize that she had a problem.

I think it’s normal for any mom to think that a glass of alcohol here or there isn’t a problem, it’s a small amount and everyone else at the play-dates or mom get together were enjoying casual conversation over a glass of wine too. Other moms are hiding their alcohol problem, sneaking some alcohol in their coffee every morning, drinking after the kids are asleep in large consumptions and lying to friends and family about just how much alcohol they are consuming.

If you are a person lying to yourself and others about your alcohol consumption, you may quite possible have an alcohol problem. Take a look first at your family history, do you have a lot of alcohol use in your family genes? Alcoholics run rampid in my family and it’s such a hard thing to fight. I was told years ago that I pretty much have a 99.9% chance of becoming an alcoholic based on family history alone. Scary, right?

I have made my own mistakes regarding alcohol and I learn from them every time. I do not break the law when it comes to alcohol consumption, I hate hearing about drunk and buzzed drivers, and I get concerned when I find parents are getting wasted near their children. I am all for enjoying a glass of alcohol here and there, but when you have a true alcohol problem, it may be best to say goodbye to that alcohol for good.

Here are some tests to see if you may possible be addicted to alcohol:

  • Stop drinking even for one day, note how your mind and body reacts. If you can’t seem to get your mind off wanting that alcohol, you may have a problem.
  • Stop drinking for a few days, if not a week, do you start having withdrawal systems, such as shivers, anger and an uncontrollable urge to sleep? If you have any negative symptoms you may have an alcohol problem.
  • Are your friends and family concerned about you? Do you seem more withdrawn from society in a way that is negative? If you have any of these things going, you may have an alcohol problem.

While watching Dr Drew one night on HLN I found out that rehab was actually created for alcoholics, and that alcohol withdrawals can be more dangerous than any other addiction. I would love to one day share my story on alcohol and alcohol addiction, but that’s too much to share today.

If you or someone you love is struggling with using alcohol as a way to cope with life, whether in a hidden way or wide open for the world to see, please, I beg of you, find a way to step in and help them. The best way is not to tell them that they have a problem, because until a person realizes that they do have a problem on their own, there isn’t much you can do to get them to seek assistance or want to stop. Be the friend you should be and do your best to share knowledge about alcoholism and do it in a polite, respectful but “I mean business” and am concerned sort of way.

Sure there will be some hard roads when you or your friend stop drinking alcohol and go through  major withdrawal symptoms but the end result is sooooo worth it. If anything, get your friend to read Best Kept Secret because this is a fantastic, eye opening book for any one who has known, is struggling with or currently knows someone with an alcohol addiction. Oh and if your friend or you have a Kindle, Best Kept Secret is on the Kindle too. Out of all the books I read in 2011, this one struck a cord with me deep to my soul.

A Child Finds all Faults and Divorce Can Be Difficult on Them

I was always taught at various classes and counseling sessions I have been to in my life that a child will always figure out the faults in a parent without the other parent trying to bring light to those faults. When a parent tries to bring light to another parents faults, as they see them to be, it only causes hurt, pain and sometimes anger within their child. The child may grow resentment towards the parent that is down talking the other parent and in turn what the parent thought was protection turns into a mess!

My parents divorced when I was around 11 years old give or take, and it was so hard being a child at that age with divorcing parents. I don’t have a lot of memories about how I felt back then or issues I may have had right away but in the long run I do know it messed with me having two parents who divorced and truly couldn’t get along. I remember it being so difficult, I didn’t want my parents being put down by anyone let alone by each other. Eventually I grew older and became a parent of my own two weeks before I turned 21. When I became a mother, it all clicked, I realized with the help of counseling and parenting courses that co-parents can get along at a level that is beneficial for a child. The co-parents don’t have to like each other, but they need to find that common ground to raise their child without making the child feel as if they have to choose a side.

When it comes to a child and their parents, they do not want to have to pick Dad over Mom or Mom over Dad, honestly that is all bullshit! A parent should never, ever want a child to choose one over the other, it is a ridiculous thought to me, yet so many co-parents pit their child against each other and it does nothing but ruin the future of that child’s life! The child will eventually grow to despise one or both parents and look for other places to find love. The options for a child to find love are not speakable to me, because I walked that path. I would never wish that life upon another child, whether the child is that of my own blood or not.

It’s extremely difficult when you do not like another human being to shut your mouth and not utter a word while your child learns the ins and outs of how each parent works, but you can do it! Believe me, if I can learn to do it, you can too, no matter how difficult. The best way to work with a child who has co-parents and is having a difficult time with one of the parents is to just take the high road and give them a hug, listen and do not judge. Allow that child the time to collect their own thoughts and make their own final decision regarding the situation or parent. If you are unable to listen and be as unbiased as you can, then maybe it’s time that child spoke with a counselor, seeing a counselor is not a bad thing, believe me…. I see a counselor every couple of weeks to assist in parenting techniques and it has been a blessing!

Whether you are struggling with co-parenting, keeping your mouth shut about negative adjectives regarding the other parent or just not sure what to do, believe me, there is help out there. Seek parenting classes, anger management, whatever resource you feel fits your situation, please take advantage of it. Making yourself a better parent is a daily job and it’s vitally important to your child’s future!

Did She Not Have Television?

My pug is a sweetheart, I love her dearly. I mean who wouldn’t love a dog that sleeps as often as you would like to, eats twice a day whenever you feed her, goes out to pee whenever you feel like letting her out and to top it all off she lets the kids do whatever?

This dog rules…

Usually that is, until something happens to make her bark and this is just a small list of various situations that make her bark {a lot}, like all disturbed, ruffled up, hair on end .. barking:

  • Tom & Jerry, you know that cartoon? Oh yes indeed. Woof Woof Woof!
  • Me opening the door to enter, after she just watched me walk out of the door. Woof Woof Woof!
  • Wii games – any and all. Woof Woof Woof!
  • The wind blowing outside. Woof Woof Woof!
  • My typing on the keyboard, in my office – one room away from her, like right now! Woof Woof Woof!

It’s crazy, never seen a dog so disturbed by so many things. The television really gets me, because she barks at it so often I have to wonder if her previous owners ever watched television? Love my Pug, dislike the startled nature she is starting to have all of a sudden.

You Can’t Pay for Membership On Phone

 

The other day my five year old begged and pleaded to let me make him a member on Club Penguin, it’s  a game on the computer that him and his sister love to play often. I only let them have the free version with ultimate limited chat versions, they are penguin friends on the site and have a lot of fun with it.

There is a membership version of Club Penguin, as with most children game sites, they lure the kids in with some awesome free stuff but if they want more then they need to ask a parent to pay for a membership. Yeah, lovely trick these game people are up to!

So my five year old comes into my office the other day to inform me that he wants to be a member of Club Penguin and the conversation went something like this:

Mama can you make me a member of Club Penguin?

NO I will not make you a member of Club Penguin dude, it costs money.

In pipes the daughter, yeah A and Mama it costs like $40 to be a member.

I realize this daughter, hence why I said NO I will not make you all members.

But Mama, says the five year old, all you do is call this number on the computer and it doesn’t cost money because you can’t give money over the phone dummy. That’s just stupid.

Dude, do not call me dummy, that’s a mean word and we don’t use it in this house and YES you can pay money over the phone, it’s called using a credit card.

Mama that is just stuipd, you can not pay for something over the phone so it’s free and you need to call right now to make me a member.

No. I am not making you a member and you are lucky that I let you continue to play after you just called me dummy.

So apparently me thinking one can pay for something over the phone makes me a dummy and just stupid. Some days I just love parenting, it’s so much fun!

Five Random Facts About ME

Yeah I have been addicted to my webcam lately for some reason and so here is another video of me but this time I am sharing FIVE random facts about myself .. just in case you are curious ….

Now tell me  FIVE random facts about YOU in a comment below….

This entry was posted in Random.

What’s Your Defense Mechanism?

I was thinking the other day about how fast I talk, it’s usually about how fast I type which is around 110 words per minute. My mind just moves at this rate and it’s natural for me, always has been. I have been taking some time to figure out things about myself and realize things I need to slow down on or change or just work on making better. I also focused on things I love about myself of course, but this is a post about human defense mechanisms.

I think we all have that defense mechanism, meaning something we do when we feel threatened in some way. The threat doesn’t have to be a physical threat, verbal and non-verbal threats alike can put us into defense mode.  For me, I get super defensive when someone puts me down as a parent. The reason is, out of everything I have screwed up in my life from getting a DWI at age 18 to quitting my awesome office job in high school, to hanging with the wrong crowd and getting into drinking alcohol too much, parenting is one thing I haven’t seemed to screw up. I am proud to be a parent and I personally feel I am doing a fantastic job. I have given up a lot to raise my children but I have gained so much in return that when someone wants to say something negative about me as a mother or about my children I get majorly defensive. I call it Mama Bear coming out to play.

My defense mechanism is something I just realized that I do, and I am going to share it with you all….. when I feel threatened, annoyed by a conversation or just plain out disagree with what someone is saying to me I…

start talking really super duper fast and over them, I may even change the subject, but the key is that I talk so fast this person can not even get themselves back on track because I talk as if I have an unlimited supply of oxygen and I do not stop til I feel calmed again.

I believe I have always done this but I do it more so now because I get into this moods when someone upsets me to my core that I honestly do not give a shit about them in that moment. I ony care about one thing & that is to get out of the conversation as fast as possible or to make them feel the way they just made me feel as fast as possible. I am working on this because it is rude, but it’s part of me.

What is your defense mechanism?

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