Over the years I have met some amazing people both online and offline but one thing I have always come to notice is that humans seem to think they know a lot about kids whether they have raised their own or not. One thing in life that has been very visible to me is that we seem to think we know all about parenting and what we would do should we have our own kids. Let me tell you what, after you have kids of your own every single theory you had goes out of the window!
No joke. I love watching other people look at me with my three kids when we are out and about having an ice cream cone. My youngest makes the most awful mess eating his soft serve ice cream, he ends up with an ice cream beard and mustache as well as having chocolate ice cream all down his arms and all over his clothing. When I was not a parent yet I hated seeing kids like that, I always thought I would never let my kid get that dirty having an ice cream cone. Then I became the mom of two boys and well have grown to find out that getting messy and dirty like that is rather comical and fun, so let the kids be kids.
There are a lot of other areas in parenting life that I truly feel that no one can understand nor fully “get” unless they have their own children. For me, my children are my world. Do not get me wrong, my children do not define me, I can have time away from them no matter how hard it is, but they are my world. No one is to put them down. No one is to put me down. I won’t take that, the Mama Bear comes out swinging if anyone is to think that they know what they would do in a situation concerning kids.
Parents do the best they know how to do and when someone else comes in judging it is not cool at all. Until you have become a parent to your own children, raising them whether in a home with the other parent or co-parenting, you just will not get the true mind behind a parent. Then again, my mind is a bit different than most so even without parenting children the mind of me is rather simple yet complex all at once! I shrug things off that I can not control and I only use my energy towards things I can control or change. That is how I think everyone should live so that their children learn to handle situations they can change and not get consumed with situations they can not change.
That I sit down to write and memories come flooding through my writers brain. There isn’t a day when I realize what a handful I was as a young child and analyze why it was I did the things I have done whether to parents or to others in my previous life.
The answer I come to every time is that I must have been so unhappy, felt so unloved that I just did what I felt made me get love and feel loved. When a child feels unloved they can make some awful decisions and it’s not up to you, the outside world, to determine what a child feels. Emotions are our own, even at a young age. Emotions are uncontrolled by others, although a child is young and needs that support from their elders to realize love is unconditional.
When my daughter and I sat down to write our book, Positive Girl – The Power of Your Thoughts, our mission was very clear in our minds; we wanted to find a way to help other children be lifted up, realize they are able to love who they are regardless of their environment.
There is a quote flowing around the Internet somewhere that says something like “it’s easier to encourage a child than it is to pay for therapy for an adult” or something like that. It’s so true. I am 30 years old and still facing demons that come about from memory, demons that I used to hold close and have grudges held against others. I felt at peace the day I started to have more faith in people and accept that I can not change others.
So there isn’t a day that I don’t remember the mistakes I’ve made, the remembering is not a problem, remembering is what keeps me in line and reminds me to not make those same mistakes again. Remembering what you have been through is one thing, but hanging onto it in a negative way is what will destroy your adult years. Let go of the past, remember but forgive and know that you can be a better person today, no matter how old you are, no matter what you have done.
Be that person you want to be, one tiny baby step at a time! You can do this!
Dear those who have judged based on past mistakes,
I understand now why you have always judged for mistakes people have made in the past, for you have your own demons and mistakes that have not been faced. I forgive you for not allowing me the chance to show you who I am today, the adult and mother of three. I forgive you and I understand, but that does not mean I will take time out of my day to spend with you.
I need to focus on what makes me happy within and helping those who can help themselves. You see, no one but you can fix those issues you hold so closely to your heart. No one but you can make the choice to love yourself and everyone around you. I wish I could make all of those demons and negative thoughts disappear from your mind and soul but alas that is not my job nor could I ever fix another person, so please do not expect others to fix those issues you hold close. You are strong and no matter how much you feel the judgement that is placed is worthy, I know it’s not worthy for I have seen the power of an individual who wants to change.
I have seen a person who has made the most awful mistakes you could even imagine but they chose to accept them as learning curves, and to realize they don’t wish to make those mistakes again. So those who still wish to judge another person based on their past or what others rumor to be true about them, why not take a moment and look in the mirror for I highly doubt you will truly see a perfect human being in that mirror and hopefully you will come to realize that everyone deserves a chance to live without judgement.
A person who faces demons/mistakes head on
P.S. For those who allow judgement to rule their life, please remember that you are worthy of loving who you are .. no matter what paths you have been down in life. Chin up, back straight and walk with confidence for you are trying to be a better person and that is all we can do … is try!
So a couple of Summers ago I was working out daily (5 x a week) on EA Sports Active for the Wii console and I was down to 180 lbs wearing a size 14/15. I felt amazing, sure my belly still wasn’t where I wanted it to be but I was confident and able to really smile more often. The energy that working out gave me combined with losing weight was simply too amazing to give one word to.
Even though I have not yet touched EA Sports Active again as the Wii is not allowed to be used too often as a way to avoid feeding my five year old son’s video game addiction, I have been more active. Summer is here and I find myself outside more often than not and swimming constantly, dragging the kids around in the pool for only one can really swim moderately well. That is a work out in itself!
In the beginning of June 2012, I found that my weight on the scale was creeping up slowly but surely, weighing in around 222 lbs and wearing a size 18 really was not my ideal size for my height of 5’6″ and I knew not only is it healthy for me to start focusing on getting my weight down, but it will show my kids to be more active as well. I am a firm believer in teaching kids through your own actions rather than preaching what you are not doing your own self.
While my legs will forever have veins popping out, thanks to the birth of my third child, I can still be at an ideal weight and show my kids that simply getting outside and off of that recliner can prove to be a life and health saver.
Although I am reluctant to show a picture of my naked belly, I feel it’s important to be upfront and honest in pictures with my current body image. I am now down 8lbs as of today, June 24th 2012, and these pictures within this blog post document me at 214.9 lbs and slipping out of a size 18 pair of shorts.
Although I never really change my eating habits while working on weight loss, I can say there are some tips I have to share with you all on how I continue to ensure I don’t over eat and stay active:
Know Your “bad habit” Foods & Do not Buy Them – I know chips are onw of my bad habit foods, if I buy a bag, I will eat a bag. So I may buy chips on occasion but it’s not a regular part of my grocery list.
Play Inside & Outdoor “active” games with Your Kids – Hide n Seek, Tag, simon says; these are all games that get you taking turns, up and moving but without doing too much & will help to lose a little bit of weight.
Increase Water or Good for you Drinks – when I worked out with EA Sports Active I personally drank a lot of Crystal Light, while I am not sure if that’s good for you 100%, it helped with my weight loss goals & was better tasting than water. I also like Mio now for water.
Those are my tips and those are my current pictures. Can not wait to share my journey to be more fit and healthy with you all! Happy Sunday my friends!
Click on over to my other blog where you can learn more about my daughter and my book, Positive Girl – The Power of Your Thoughts. We are kicking off public announcement of the book and as a way to get the word out to everyone online before local newspaper interviews occur this upcoming week!