Sometimes Blending a Family Isn’t a Piece of Cake

Sometimes two people get lucky. After divorcing the parent to their children they happen upon their perfect partner and his & hers kids match up well. The family is united without much issue. The ex spouse is amazingly supportive and works together to help keep the blended family an encouraged addition to the children’s lives.

Then… you have the other types of blended family scenarios, which sadly are far more common to every day life for divorced couples.

The Other Side to Blending a Family Sometimes Blending a Family Isnt a Piece of Cake

You meet. You fall in love. You realize it’s time to introduce the kids. You are nervous, you talk together about how you will work with any bumps along the road and you get your plan together. Then the kids meet. The kids love each other. Yours and theirs, they get along as if they had been around each other for years. It makes you and your partner stop blinking for fear this is a dream that will end upon that next blink. It’s bliss. Pure blended family bliss!

Then … it happens… the ex gets jealous or insecure that the other “new parent figure” will take their place and in turn passes their insecurities down to the kids by pushing them away from the other parent as well as the other parents partner and by default, the children from the new partner.

This is where blending a family becomes near impossible. I don’t often use the term impossible, and maybe blending a family when an ex pushes their own insecurities onto a child can work if the child realizes what is going on. Sadly, this is not the case at this moment in time. Teenagers. Teenagers not raised to have this family bond, the sense of family togetherness, the sense of what’s right versus what’s wrong. Teenagers living primarily in an environment that breeds drugs, alcoholics and parents not wishing to parent their children. Teenagers left to be able to do whatever they want without many boundaries set because the other parent feels that “they are teenagers and you compromise with them”.

Shakes my head.

What do you do when your own flesh and blood cannot see the self destructive path they are going down? What do you do to help them blend well with your happy, positive home environment that promotes boundaries, rules and a sense of family unity? What do you do when the ex has made it so completely impossible for you to do anything and if you did try, the few days a month you see these teens, you are not able to get them to get on a better path.

It’s not easy to parent kids these days, so many negative temptations out there at their finger tips. Parents not being parents. Children raising children. This day and age has lost the sense of family unity but a few people still promote such a sense of pride in their family. When teenagers have slipped to the other side of things and you have no way of getting them off of that path, what do you do? Do you continue to have them around those few days a month when you can see they are clearly completely miserable and imposing their negative attitude onto others in the blended family? Do you continue to dread seeing your children because you want to see them as they were just under a year ago? Up until eight months ago life was great. Blending the family unit worked, there were some bumps that came up but overall it was good. We had little, if any, complaints.

Now … we sit here. We watch.

Teenagers falling down a path that they cannot even seem to realize. Kids who need guidance, love and boundaries. Kids who need to realize the path they are going down isn’t going to lead to a successful hard working mentality as adults. A life that can lead down a path that has disastrous results. It’s sad really, that a person would do such a thing to their own children. It’s sad that the children do not see how they were turned against their new blended family unit instead of encouraged to be happy in both households, encouraged to have a relationship with both households. It’s just sad. It is also very wrong. Maybe one day, the hope is, that these children will mature enough to realize the wrong, hurtful things their other parent has done to them. That’s a big hope that is out of our control, we are doing the best we can and living life to the best of our abilities. One hard decision is that we cannot have that negativity be imposed upon our household that has a happy & positive tone as well as a family united mentality. We are doing all we can do. Just living each day to the fullest and keeping hope!

“Image courtesy of jesadaphorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

{Wordless Wednesday} My Guilty Pleasures – Reeses Pieces & Coffee #ww With LINKY

My Guilty Pleasures 776x1024 {Wordless Wednesday} My Guilty Pleasures   Reeses Pieces & Coffee #ww With LINKY

 

Guilty Pleasure Coffee 1000x1024 {Wordless Wednesday} My Guilty Pleasures   Reeses Pieces & Coffee #ww With LINKY

VISIT MY OTHER BLOG FOR THE WORDLESS WEDNESDAY POST THERE WITH LINKY …

button 1 125x125 {Wordless Wednesday} My Guilty Pleasures   Reeses Pieces & Coffee #ww With LINKY





Socks Missing – The Dryer and Washer are Not to be Blamed

In this house if you have missing socks, it isn’t the dryer nor washer to be blamed…

photo e1390849837792 Socks Missing   The Dryer and Washer are Not to be Blamed

Around these parts if you are missing socks and it’s either my daughter, my fiance or me … chances are the daughter or I stole them. In this particular case of the missing socks – it was me to be blamed for stealing yet another pair of my fiance’s socks. I guess he should have bought me socks for Christmas.

 Socks Missing   The Dryer and Washer are Not to be Blamed

This Sums up What I have Said to my Fiance For Awhile now

I always tell my fiance that I don’t wish for him to change, I absolutely love him for who he is. I just see things within him, things he is capable of that clearly have not been seen by him as of yet. In the past year I have watched my fiance change in such a great way. He is more confident, he doesn’t stand for bull crap anymore and he is much happier than he was the first day I met him.

photo 21 This Sums up What I have Said to my Fiance For Awhile now

 

 This Sums up What I have Said to my Fiance For Awhile now

The Bug Has Hit Our House

As I sit here typing this I have sick children and a temperature rising in my own self. I am online writing because, well, I have to get some work done even if home sick. That’s one blessing about being a work at home mom, I can work virtually anywhere and in any shape, since I currently am nursing a temperature rise and not having any other symptoms I can still work a bit.

My daughter started getting sick on Thursday into Friday but then spent the weekend with her Dad without any sick issues, at least as far as she shared with me. The boys spent their weekend with Dad pretty sick. It seemed it was only going to be a 24-48 hour bug of some sort, but last night I found we all were getting a fever again. Sigh.

This bug doesn’t want to let us go but I will fight to get rid of it. I grabbed some Canada Dry Ginger Ale and Little Man brought orange juice home from his Dad’s. Together with extra sleep and some honey tea, we will get this bug fought and put away. This week was only a three day school week as it is so these kiddos need to get healthy and back to school for their education.

Hoping this passes soon because it doesn’t feel good watching your kids struggle with sickies. I would have sent them to school but I am not the kind of parent who sends their children to school sporting a fever, sadly that is what will keep spreading the bug through out the school. I would rather keep my kids home if they have any signs of a stomach bug, flu or any other sickness because it’s important to make sure other school kids are protected.

So today, I sit curled up in blanket still feeling cold chills and praying all passes quickly.

 The Bug Has Hit Our House
Page 5 of 99« First...34567...102030...Last »