On a somewhat wacko mission to hurt the relationship between a father and his children, a mother took the initiative to say and do bad things in front of her children. The mission of an ex, especially one who made the decision to leave the marriage, to break up a relationship between her children and their father due to her own insecurities and issues is so completely immoral and wrong. The problem is that television reality shows and social media accounts like Facebook seem to breed lack of common sense and good character. Sure you can blame society for the reason many people have started to enjoy drama over peaceful bliss, but in all reality we are human beings not sheep. We have the voice of reason inside of our brains and we have the ability to be better than what society may push upon us; be strong, stand up and be something more than what society portrays as the next big reality show.
I’m a blogger. I love attention. I personally prefer positive attention, but just like my five year old son, some people simply prefer negative attention or any attention they can get. This is fine, as an individual, but when you have become divorced and are to raise children together with your ex amicably so as to not ruin the children …. then that is where you suck it the hell up and grow up, bite your tongue and be the positive influence your children need during this time of confusion. It may be difficult, but it’s not impossible to do.
There are many woman out there, men too, that when they get divorced they seem to think it’s best to have the children pick a side. This constant battle of Mom versus Dad is more common when the parental unit has moved onto greener pastures. The ex will say anything he/she can to make it so the children feel obligated to be unhappy at the other parents home and in turn choose to side with the parent mouthing the most flack about the other parent. There are situations where the parent being a wacko and causing a ruckus actually ends up having the pages turned on him/her and then the children choose the more “sane” parent.
In New Hampshire, you are obligated to take a Child Impact Seminar when divorcing, separating or breaking up and have children together. This Child Impact Seminar is slightly messed up in some ways, because just like the NH “pro family” mentality, the Child Impact Seminar simply covers the “how things should go” when co-parenting, rather than covering the major percent of divorcees situations. That means, the Child Impact Seminar can assist those who have a positive mindset to move forward for the benefit of their children, but those who are Drama Kings or Queens won’t benefit from this course at all.
Sadly, with the children who are pushed away from one of the parents leaves that parent to make harsh, tough love type decisions. Always try to work things out without stooping to the other parents level, but if all fails and you are unable to get the children to see that Dad/Mom is happy and that you want them happy with you and their other parent – then you have some tough decisions to make. If you are a parent who has your children half of the time, correcting a wacko parent’s mistakes is easily done. If you are someone who doesn’t have the children half of the time or more often than just a few days a month, then you are going to have an extremely difficult time correcting the methods of your ex spouse.
In times when the ex has made a pretty comfy bed for your children to pretty much disown anything to do with you, yet the children still come to visit because they have no choice but to do so, it’s time to rethink what’s the best to do for the children in the long haul of life. If you have moved on and are in a serious relationship, that maybe also involves children beyond your own, it’s also time to rethink what is best for them. Sadly, when an ex spouse turns your child(ren) against you and all that makes you happy, you have to do whatever is necessary to ensure your sanity. If children don’t see a parent for years because they have decided to protect the evil ex spouse, their other parent, then there is nothing that you can do to change that. A child is only going to see the world and their parents, as the remainder of the world sees them, when they are mature enough to understand life in a whole new light.
So if you are one of those ex spouses who thought it would be totally cool to turn the children against their other parent because you are not mature enough to handle your own insecurities in life, then that makes you pure evil. A child is innocent, and should never, ever have to feel that they cannot be happy for both of their parents and with both of their parents. Do me a favor, now that you have made your bed, lie in it for a while and see for your own self just how much damage you did to your children. Then, take a moment and look in the mirror – do you see a good person or a downright evil person? If you still can see a good person and think all of the crap you put your kids through was okay, then you may just be more messed up than anyone else ever thought you to be.
Moral of the story is this; just because a marriage failed does not mean co-parenting has to fail!
“Image courtesy of smarnad/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.