More Thoughts From Brandy Ellen about Human Kind

I believe we, as human beings, need to step back and think before we speak {or post online}. That’s not to say I am not guilty of speaking, or typing, before thinking. It happens. We are all human.

What bothers me is when I see someone consistently getting up on this high horse of entitlement. People who choose to do certain things or live certain ways and want to diss others who may not be able to live that way or have any choice but to do what they do. Think about others before you speak, of course people are going to have hurt feelings. I am not talking about “all is fair in life mentality”, but more discussing those who look down upon human mistakes or inability for certain people to do certain things.

I’ve been that Mom. The single Mom who had to eat bread and butter, ramen noodles or mac n cheese or pasta and sauce on a regular. Yes, my child had to eat that crap too. On a regular. It wasn’t fun for me and I would have days where I felt like I was failing my child. If you have never been that Mom, then shut your mouth about what other parents should or should not do. Who are you to “know” them and how they live!

I’ve been that Mom who makes decisions that are best under circumstances I was living in. I always make what I feel is the best decision for myself but mostly for my children’s future. My children are always on my mind when I think of what to do next in life. They come first. Always.

I dislike watching people consistently point fingers and judgement when they have not walked in other people’s shoes. The only life these people know is the one they have, the experiences in which they have had in their life and who they are today. No two people have walked the same exact path. So think please before you assume you know all and think please before you judge a book by it’s damn cover.

I have been poor all of my damn life, I have used every last penny I have to make sure there is a roof over my children’s heads, food of some sort on their table, a ride to school for them to have an education. I make sure to put every last penny I have towards my children’s needs first. Always have. Always will.

With that being said, I don’t have anyone to pick up my pieces should things not go as I had planned nor hoped. I don’t have a family member I can move in with if the situation calls for it. I don’t have a relative with money to lend when times get tough. I have me. I have my children. That’s all. Sure, I do have a wonderful support system of both friends and family, but that doesn’t mean they can help me out of things I get into. They can be there emotionally and for advice, but beyond that – I am living an adult life that means I am unable to go back into my parents home or not work in some shape or form to support my children.

There are many parents who have certain luxuries I don’t have. Who cares. They are happy with their life and that’s all that matters. We need to start embracing our differences and stop pointing fingers in the name of trying to push someone else down to make us feel better. Give me a break, you should be uplifting yourself through uplifting of others – that my friends is the ultimate way to live.

This is just my opinion, you may disagree and I respect you for having that freedom to disagree.

If You Could Hear You

If you could hear you

You would know

If you could hear you

You would go

If you could hear you

You would see

If you could hear you

You wouldn’t have me

If you could hear you

You would have peace

If you could hear you

You would be at ease

If you could hear you

You wouldn’t distress

If you could hear you

You would progress.

Leaping, Happiness, and Don’t Fret

Leaping into the life of love.

Putting yourself out there.

You fell hard or so you thought.

Then it happened…

That person is not who they seem.

They are not the one you fell for.

How did this Happen?

Was it your fault?

Was it truly ever meant to be?

These questions are silly.

Why ask such things?

You know the answers.

Time can only tell.

Do what’s best now and don’t look back.

Do not fret what this person feels.

You know what you feel.

Go with it. Do it. Live life.

Be happy.

Working from Home – Keeping Kids Busy

I have started a new job from home that requires me to work 2 hours a day five days a week. My current schedule entails me working 9-11am Tues thru Friday and Saturdays from 10am – 12pm. I am excited to be able to earn a weekly paycheck while still being at home. Summer is coming after all, so taking a job outside of the home wouldn’t be feasible. I also wanted to ensure I could continue with my business of making money online with all the other client obligations I have. This job is the perfect match for me and I am excited to be a part of a sweet¬† bunch of ladies!

Setting up Kids So You Can Work From Home

With that being said, I mentioned Summer break is on it’s way. This means kids home just about 24/7 and me having to still work the hours I am scheduled to work. This is no problem for my multitasking personality but it may be an issue keeping three kids busy, preoccupied while I work.

I decided to test out my preparations for work this past Saturday when the kids were home for my first Saturday of work. I took out all of the construction paper, markers and other crafty items to set up the kids with a craft area. I set it up on the dining room table, alongside my laptop where I would work from.

The kids were also allowed to have the game console on and play games during my two hour work period; again all in the same area of where I am working so I could still have one eye on them.

It was a totally awesome idea, or so I thought.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the time when the man of the house came home from work .. sigh.

I had not prepared my kids for that interruption, honestly it’s an interruption that has been causing much turmoil to me and I feel very scattered with my current living situation, but I am trying to work with it.

So the kids went haywire .. the youngest no longer had his brothers full attention because his brother wanted the big man to play a game on the game system with him, not his baby brother. It was a nightmare full of me yelling, me getting very upset and me crying eventually.

I hated this scenario and how it played out, but the kids and I made up for it by spending the remainder of the day, after my work was done together, outside of the home having fun.

One tip I have for all you work at home moms is this; prepare your kids for all things to happen during your work time and be working in the general area where your kids will be so you are easily accessed by them. But seriously, remember try to prepare them for ALL things, such as another person coming over at a specific time that may fall in between your working hours and totally shift the routine all around.

I have to master this scheduling of keeping kids preoccupied during my two hour work days for the full Summer, I think Saturdays will be my only big issue day, for now.

The Big Ant That Could Not

I don’t know about you, but we have some unwelcome guests in our home …

ants.

Big ones little ones, medium ones.

ants.

Black ones, red ones, brownish ones.

ants.

The Big Ant That Could Not

This ant shown here, is a big black ant.

This ant shown here, is an ant that bit me.

I grabbed my pajama pants off the bathroom rack, as I always do come about 4 or 5pm.

I put my pajama pants on, walked to the living room to chat with my kidlets.

Then it happened …

I had this sharp ouch pain feeling right above my knee, it was where my vein tends to be a bit poofy so I thought it was a normal vein pain, as that happens a lot with me.

When I felt the area outside of my pajama pants, it dawned on me that there was indeed something more going on under my pants than just a vein pain.

Ant.

It was a big black ant, at first glance I thought it was a spider. I swooshed it off of me.

It was stuck in.

Half his body went flying. The other half laid still stuck in my leg.

I was freaking out, near tears. Kids freaking out.

Finally I pulled that sucker out of my leg and I had a bite mark.

To this day, I still have a tiny red mark where this big black ant bit me!

I saved it in that plastic bag shown above, in case I get sick from this ant bite, but no worries I drowned my open wound with rubbing alcohol in hopes to get rid of any ickies the ant may have been carrying.

Have you ever been bit by an ant to this extent? I have been bit slightly, but never had a full blown big ant STUCK inside my leg as it bit me.

Sometimes You Just Have to …. LET IT GO

So many parents live in this fear of losing their child or children. I get it. I have anxiety that I cope and fight with often. I used to fear the world as it pertained to my children. I then woke up. I realized that if I fear the world then they are going to fear the world. Now what parent wants that for their child? Not me.

I have had some awful things happen to me; how my virginity was lost or almost lost is still a blur to me, but it was a scenario that made me more aware about the fact that bad things happen to good people. I was also made aware, looking back, of how lost I was as a child and in turn wanted to parent my children in a way that never left them feeling that empty. So empty that you would be okay and accept the love of a man who was way older than you. That happened to me more often than I can recall, but I often found myself being hit on and sexualized by older men from about age 13 or maybe 12 and forward. Never was it my parents, nor any blood relative, but it was people who I did trust or thought I could trust. Let’s just keep it at that.

You see, I could live my life as a parent in fear that the same things that happened to me would happen to my own children, I don’t wish to live that way. I much prefer teaching my children to have high self esteem, to have better decision making skills and to be able to have skills in conflict resolution. I also prefer to teach my children skills on trusting their gut; that whole “good touch vs bad touch” concept they teach in schools, I discussed with my kids long before the schools addressed it. I let my kids know that if a touch makes alarms go off in their head or even a person’s character makes an alarm, sick gut feeling happen within their own self that they need to listen to that.

Instilling fear into my children wouldn’t allow them to experience the world as fully as I want them to. Sure there are bad people out there and in all honesty, some are those we entrust with our children. That was me, I was entrusted with someone or at least to be around this someone and well, sadly it worked out that shit happened. Had I been more self confident, felt more loved and whole I bet that wouldn’t have happened. Who knows though, hindsight is always 20/20.

I have raised, specifically my oldest at this point in time, that if she feels a touch hurts, is bad or is unacceptable then it may just be that. It doesn’t matter if it’s a caregiver or a family member, we do not have to ever put ourselves into a situation that we are not comfortable with. I also encourage my children to overcome their anxious feelings with new situations and to learn what is a gut feeling versus hormones or anxiety. These concepts are not easy to teach through words, you have to lead by example when it comes to the kids.

I live my life free spirited, confident and happy. I live this way because I know I am giving my children a good role model to look up to. Note: I never said perfect role model. I prefer to be a real life human role model that leads her life for complete happiness within. I can only hope and pray these lessons are taught to my children through my example.

I think parenting is difficult, it isn’t easy to let go, knowing that there are so many harmful people in this world, believe me, I am aware of just how harmful people can be. I went through a lot that no family member knows about, because I didn’t have anyone to turn to back then, but as an adult, I have forgiven and moved on to better myself. Harmful people can hurt others but they cannot break them forever.¬† I just hope my children grow up to realize that bad things may happen to them, but if they keep their heart free of bitterness and open to faith and love then they can overcome any bad that happens to them, so as long as they want to move forward.

Page 4 of 86« First...23456...102030...Last »