Not Given More than We Can Handle

There is saying, somewhere or a belief that God shall not give us more than we can handle and honestly if that is the case, He places a lot of faith in what this woman can handle. This past month has been full of trials and things coming up to put life and work off kilter just a bit.

quotes

For starters, my younger kids school had a water pipe burst, creating a flood of a mess in their school. The school shut down for a full week and worked quickly with the wonderful help from our community, school officials and parents. It certainly amazes me how great my town is when it comes to getting together to fix something or help others.

Next, there was February vacation, a week off at end of February where the kids were all home for a week yet again. This time it was all three, not just the two little ones.

During this time, my ex husband was changing jobs so he was training for his new job on first shift, thus creating a change needed in visits with the boys and my work schedule flip flopped, if existed at all during this time. No more having the little one gone all day once a week combined with a half day once a week, nope. This meant that the boys would go with their Dad for a few hours each evening, two nights a week. This wrecked havoc on bedtime routine and the boys schedules in general, as well as mine.

Now, meet my current challenges that have arisen, been looking for a rental home for a while now. Having no real great luck but keep looking. I am hoping that as the weather warms up, more rental homes will become available. Currently have one hopeful option, just been playing phone tag with the landlord. Along with looking for a rental, my car has decided that it is no longer my friend and keeps giving minor, but random, issues.

Finally my work schedule is back on track with the ex hubs working nights and the boys back to a normal school schedule, but that was after this past few days of having influenza B in the home.

Each day brings a new challenge and I am just hoping that I come out of all of these challenges with flying colors. Actually, make that, I know I can handle this for God does not give me more than I can handle and each night I lay down to thank Him for what blessings I do have in my life. For no matter how much I can rant and rave about what’s going on in my world, there will always be someone else out there in this world in far worse of a situation than me.

Random Outdoor NH Pictures From Saturday Trail Walk

Saturday was the first Spring like day around here and so the kids and I ventured off onto the trail to take a 2-3 mile walk. While on the walk I took some random pictures of nature at it’s finest… here are some of those nature photos I took.

Tracks in NH Snow

Some tracks from out back of the house are shown in image above, but there were so many around it was hard to capture them all.

Cool Old NH Tree

An old tree as it appears when you look upwards at it.

Beauitful NH Sky

And last but not least the beautiful birch trees and clear blue sky!

 

Sometimes We Hold Others at Higher Expectations

I am guilty of holding my own self up to this high expectation, I have always felt I am strong and can make it through anything – alone or not alone. That is who I am. As a close loved one told me earlier today, “Everyone can only be so strong. You’re stronger than most.”  The thing about me is that because I hold myself to such high standards, I tend to hold others to those standards and that really is not fair.

Everyone has a busy life. Everyone has their own inside demons to work out. Everyone has their own things that they have going on that maybe they are not as outspoken about like I am. That is one thing a lot of my current friends know of me and say often; “I have frustrations too but you are just more outspoken about them and passionate about getting them out verbally while I sort of hold onto it internally until I am ready to say something that makes sense”. That I am guilty of, when something is bothering me I ramble it out in writing or words just so that I can be free of it. Doing that means it doesn’t always come out correctly.

Sad thing for me right now is that there has been someone lost, while it may have been expected, I really needed a couple people who I hold very close to my heart there for me. Lately, as in the past few months, those who I held so close to me, they were my rock, my love, the only people I knew I could go to for anything, have disappeared. Or so I feel as if they have disappeared. I start to wonder what I did wrong, why don’t they talk to me anymore.

Then I realized, just today, that it doesn’t matter that they are not here for me in the way they used to be. That they do not seem to care to have my children and me in their life in a way I have tried to keep them. Sometimes, whether you are talking about family or friends, you just have to let go because people change, lives change and sometimes people just suck.

While I am not saying those I miss having around me “suck”, in all reality they are amazing people who really can sometimes get me to think in a different light, I am just sad that in their actions (or lack there of) that they seem to not want to be here for me when I really needed them. I would be there for them in a heart beat if I knew they needed someone, guess sometimes, it takes that down and out moment to realize just who is that important in your life. I have to remember that I can only be so strong just like others.

I have to remember that while I can love a lot of family and friends in my world, it does not mean we will always talk or always be there when the other needs us, but after going through what I went through last night into today, my eyes were opened as to who really is genuinely caring and not about me. It hurts. I’m sad about it, but at the same time, I shall move on and still continue to love those who were a part of my life and are not there anymore. I will not hold bitterness, rage and anger because that will only consume me to become who I used to be.

Getting this off the chest helped. Collecting my thoughts and writing down my rambles has really helped me to try to put others back down to normal expectations and realize that while others may not talk to me in that moment, they do love me and would be there in a heart beat should that situation call for it.

It doesn’t really help that this Winter has played a huge toll on my mood and well being. It doesn’t help that I am having my own health problems that no one knows about except those who are actually 100% part of my world. It doesn’t help that I am just ready for sunshine… but thankfully writing helps, seeing my kids smiley faces helps and having the love I have within my direct household helps. I am thankful for what I do have and have survived through worse.

Trivial Pursuit Bet you Know It

I played an interesting board game last night into this morning with a couple of tween, almost teens, and the boyfriend. It was called Trivial Pursuit Bet you Know It. Being that my three kids range in ages where the two younger boys usually are to be involved in a family game night, I was never able to play this board game fully in the past.

Trivial Pursuit Bet you Know It

While reading the directions we came to realize that this version of Trivial Pursuit was more like a Vegas style version of Trivial Pursuit. The game cards were still the same with various trivial questions but you had to place bets on the person answering the question.

I must admit we did run out of poker chips for betting at one point, so I do say if you try this game that you may need to buy an extra package of poker chips to ensure that you all can fully play the game without having to write little IOU’s for those you owe chips to from the bank.

Beyond the poker chip issue though, it was a blast! The kids even said “wow that was a really fun game” … it was a great time and much needed as a way to simply enjoy this part of my family unit … I highly recommend you check out Trivial Pursuit Bet You Know It for your family with older children, then tell me what you all think of it!

Possibly My Next Tattoo?

Artistic Tween

I told C (my boyfriend’s daughter) that I wanted to have her draw something to possibly be my next tattoo. She is artistic and always drawing things that would appear to make the perfect tat. I have three tattoos currently and each holds a meaning; 1st one is a shamrock on right ankle that will some day have my daughters name placed around it, 2nd one is a tribal band on my arm with my ex husbands name on top (I know I know, bad to do that obviously), and 3rd is two hearts connected above my right breast which is a matching tat with my sister (our sister tats, although hers is on her neck).

My next tattoo, whenever I can afford to get it, shall be having my daughter’s name added to the shamrock tat while having that tat touched up. After that I plan to have my left ankle have some form of a design of stars n moons or flowers with a vine alongside my two sons names will be incorporated into it. I told C my idea, drew a slight idea for her to get a feel for what “shape” I was looking for and above is what she came up with.

I love it. What do you think?

Just Surviving School Vacation Week

Getting some snow that is a bit heavy and wet today, but this week I have been enjoying school vacation. Not much work getting done but that is how the work from home mom office environment works .. kids home – they are priority! Kids asleep or at school? Work is priority.

Competition Complex NH Mini Golf

So I have been spending a lot of time watching cartoons, coloring pictures, reading and we even went to the Competition Complex in Canaan, NH which was a nice trip too!

Competition Complex NH

So I will leave you all now so I can go back to being Mom, they need me before the little one turns my house upside down (which he has successfully done every day this week)… thankfully when told to clean up, within the hour, he does clean up after his own dang self!

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