If You Could Hear You

If you could hear you

You would know

If you could hear you

You would go

If you could hear you

You would see

If you could hear you

You wouldn’t have me

If you could hear you

You would have peace

If you could hear you

You would be at ease

If you could hear you

You wouldn’t distress

If you could hear you

You would progress.

Leaping, Happiness, and Don’t Fret

Leaping into the life of love.

Putting yourself out there.

You fell hard or so you thought.

Then it happened…

That person is not who they seem.

They are not the one you fell for.

How did this Happen?

Was it your fault?

Was it truly ever meant to be?

These questions are silly.

Why ask such things?

You know the answers.

Time can only tell.

Do what’s best now and don’t look back.

Do not fret what this person feels.

You know what you feel.

Go with it. Do it. Live life.

Be happy.

Working from Home – Keeping Kids Busy

I have started a new job from home that requires me to work 2 hours a day five days a week. My current schedule entails me working 9-11am Tues thru Friday and Saturdays from 10am – 12pm. I am excited to be able to earn a weekly paycheck while still being at home. Summer is coming after all, so taking a job outside of the home wouldn’t be feasible. I also wanted to ensure I could continue with my business of making money online with all the other client obligations I have. This job is the perfect match for me and I am excited to be a part of a sweet  bunch of ladies!

Setting up Kids So You Can Work From Home

With that being said, I mentioned Summer break is on it’s way. This means kids home just about 24/7 and me having to still work the hours I am scheduled to work. This is no problem for my multitasking personality but it may be an issue keeping three kids busy, preoccupied while I work.

I decided to test out my preparations for work this past Saturday when the kids were home for my first Saturday of work. I took out all of the construction paper, markers and other crafty items to set up the kids with a craft area. I set it up on the dining room table, alongside my laptop where I would work from.

The kids were also allowed to have the game console on and play games during my two hour work period; again all in the same area of where I am working so I could still have one eye on them.

It was a totally awesome idea, or so I thought.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the time when the man of the house came home from work .. sigh.

I had not prepared my kids for that interruption, honestly it’s an interruption that has been causing much turmoil to me and I feel very scattered with my current living situation, but I am trying to work with it.

So the kids went haywire .. the youngest no longer had his brothers full attention because his brother wanted the big man to play a game on the game system with him, not his baby brother. It was a nightmare full of me yelling, me getting very upset and me crying eventually.

I hated this scenario and how it played out, but the kids and I made up for it by spending the remainder of the day, after my work was done together, outside of the home having fun.

One tip I have for all you work at home moms is this; prepare your kids for all things to happen during your work time and be working in the general area where your kids will be so you are easily accessed by them. But seriously, remember try to prepare them for ALL things, such as another person coming over at a specific time that may fall in between your working hours and totally shift the routine all around.

I have to master this scheduling of keeping kids preoccupied during my two hour work days for the full Summer, I think Saturdays will be my only big issue day, for now.

The Big Ant That Could Not

I don’t know about you, but we have some unwelcome guests in our home …

ants.

Big ones little ones, medium ones.

ants.

Black ones, red ones, brownish ones.

ants.

The Big Ant That Could Not

This ant shown here, is a big black ant.

This ant shown here, is an ant that bit me.

I grabbed my pajama pants off the bathroom rack, as I always do come about 4 or 5pm.

I put my pajama pants on, walked to the living room to chat with my kidlets.

Then it happened …

I had this sharp ouch pain feeling right above my knee, it was where my vein tends to be a bit poofy so I thought it was a normal vein pain, as that happens a lot with me.

When I felt the area outside of my pajama pants, it dawned on me that there was indeed something more going on under my pants than just a vein pain.

Ant.

It was a big black ant, at first glance I thought it was a spider. I swooshed it off of me.

It was stuck in.

Half his body went flying. The other half laid still stuck in my leg.

I was freaking out, near tears. Kids freaking out.

Finally I pulled that sucker out of my leg and I had a bite mark.

To this day, I still have a tiny red mark where this big black ant bit me!

I saved it in that plastic bag shown above, in case I get sick from this ant bite, but no worries I drowned my open wound with rubbing alcohol in hopes to get rid of any ickies the ant may have been carrying.

Have you ever been bit by an ant to this extent? I have been bit slightly, but never had a full blown big ant STUCK inside my leg as it bit me.

Be Sure not to Confuse “This Doesn’t Work” with “Difficult” #dating #blendedfamily

So you met the person of your dreams. You spend a year or maybe less sulking up the love, affection and happiness that comes with most new relationships. Then it happens. Your kids and their kids have to meet at some point, they all get along great. The kids adore each other. The two adults adore each other. Parenting techniques were discussed beforehand and things were seeming to blend together well.

Then it happens.

Things don’t seem so easy anymore. The situation appears to be something that you didn’t realize it was.

Blended families are difficult. You are essentially combining two different families together under one roof. Two parents, who probably don’t parent the same exact way, and two sets of children who were parented differently. Something has to give and communication has to become stronger than ever before.

The key to any relationship, especially a blended family one, is communication as well as respect, trust and honesty.

I think when times get tough, people just walk away. Since so many talk about marriages failing because people give up too soon, often times couples will beat their relationship to death and in turn dislike each other for it. When a relationship hits difficult times you need to take into consideration a lot of variables; specifically what your long term goals are as a couple and individual.

I can’t stress enough the importance of knowing what your own personal goals are as a parent and human being. This will play a key role in whether or not the relationship troubles are simply difficult times or most certainly, without a doubt something that isn’t going to work in the long haul.

Stay true to yourself. Do not allow any relationship to make you lose who you are. There is always room for negotiation on some subjects and scenarios, but never should you have to negotiate to a point of being broken.

Be aware of the other person’s responses to parenthood trials and tribulations, as well as your own. Do they match up? Are you on a simlar page or are you two so far apart that a light has shined down saying “this isn’t going to work?”.

No one else can tell you what is right for you and your relationship, you are the only person living in those walls with this other adult and their child(ren). The decision comes down to you knowing yourself inside and out.

If you have weighed all variables and found they are not playing a factor in this feeling of difficult times and really truly feel that this person’s parenting style or lack there of are not a good fit for both you and your children’s future, then you need to leave.

Relationships are difficult, but not all relationships we get into were meant to be. Take each failed relationship as a new learning curve in life. Learn from the experiences and never be afraid to be a single parent for as long as it takes to be the parent your children need. Your kids well being is dependent upon your well being both emotionally and physically.

If you don’t take care of yourself and make big boy or big girl decisions that matter, then how will ever expect your children to lead a fully happy life both as children and adults? You are the example to those little ones and they can pick up when things are not working out for their parent.

As a recap – Difficult means communication and realistic negotiations can mend the situation for the long haul in love and life. This doesn’t work means no amount of communication and realistic negotiations can work to rectify things.

Listen. Speak. Discuss.

Make a decision.

Move on.

Learn from the experience.

Words of Wisdom – A Fantastic Conversation with my Mom

My Mom and I have always had this rocky, sister-like relationship. I wish it were different, but as I have grown older, I have come to realize that I need to be thankful that I have a Mom. I also know that I do love my Mom, I wouldn’t wish any harm upon her. I came to realize that my Mom is being and has been the best Mom she knows how.

To be honest, the moment I accepted and realized I DO LOVE my Mom for who she is, a weight was lifted. I feel much more relaxed around my Mom. I also try my best to keep a connection with my Mom. We both lead busy lives and often misunderstand each other in communications, but I think we are working on that or at least accepting that sometimes we don’t “get” each other and that’s okay!

Respect. Love. Both will go a long way when trying to simply show someone that you DO care about them.

This weekend I spent a few hours visiting my Mom on Saturday, I knew I would be heading out Sunday to have a BBQ and visit my sis, niece and Dad so I thought Saturday would have been a perfect day to stop by and give my Mom a Mother’s Day Gift. I never expected to sit and chat for a couple of hours with her. It was, dare I say, really great!

Wisdom from My Mom RE: Blending Families

“Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

I learned a bit from that conversation; such as how hard it is to try to be in a relationship or meet that special one when you have children. There are so many factors that come into play when you are divorced and trying to make a relationship with a person who isn’t the parent of the children or who brings new children to the blended family unit; IS HARD.

For the first time in my life, I was seeing what I am hurting from and struggling with, in the eyes of my Mom who has been there and tried that.

I admired my Mom for her wisdom she shared and honesty; I found myself nodding, about how difficult it is to get someone else to accept you and your kids. How difficult it is to accept another person’s child(ren) coming into the picture with you and your children. It’s no easy task trying to blend a couple divorced families into one.

I won’t go on and on about our private conversation but I will say this, I left this conversation feeling confident that “I am normal” that the issues I am dealing with right now, things I am struggling with or questioning, are completely normal!

Like my Mom said, “Dating when you are trying to raise kids is very difficult!”

You see, she didn’t mean difficult for just the parents, it’s hard for both parents to accept and learn how to parent each others children, it’s hard for the two parents to step back and come down a middle ground to parent each set of children under one roof. It’s difficult. Very very much so. That’s not to say it’s impossible. Nothing is impossible if you have love and feel love for the other person … but I found myself saying that I simply just do better raising my three children alone, obviously with the help of their father’s, but I have to have life a certain way specifically for my special needs child and that doesn’t always mesh well with someone who hasn’t raised a special needs child or isn’t that personality type that can easily adapt.

Life is hard. Thanks to my Mom for making it feel a little more at ease this weekend. While I am still in a position in my life where I have a lot to think about, this conversation with my Mom made me realize that I actually have a lot more in common with my Mom than I had ever thought and it brought my heart/connection quite a few steps closer to her.

I Love you Mom.

 

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