Mental Health, Guns and Sadness

Let me be very clear here, I am in no way educated on all of the school shootings that have been happening. I do not know all of the details nor do I know all of the locations that these have happened at; what I do know is that I know enough to form my own general opinion …

Too many of our youth are being killed at gunpoint in a place where they should be safe from such harm. I also would like to say too many of our youth are being harmed sexually in a place where they should be safe from such harm too.

The society we are living in is heading down a crash course to crazy. The news reporters have to cover far too many sad stories of life taken away far too early, there is no need for this. Do I think guns are the problem? Not really. Do I know what the problem is? Not really, no one does for sure.

I have my own opinion on these matters, such as gun shootings in schools, toy guns and pretend gun play when kids pretend their finger is a gun, and I am about to share it. Please mind your manners if you comment, please have respect. I do not disrespect you for your opinions, so I except the same in return from you.

My father is a hunter, the man I dated in high school and into the earlier adult years was a hunter. I have been around many guns in my life, we don’t live in an area where we see them often out at a store, but guns are around here and there, more so during various hunting seasons. I have seen guns since I was a young child. I respect guns. I was taught guns are not toys. I was also taught that toy guns or using my finger as a gun was pretend and for entertainment or play time, never was I confused about toy gun play versus real gun play. Ever.

Once again, I have no clue the back story to these gun shootings at schools, well no back story that goes deep enough for me to form a valid, educational opinion directly about each shooting, my opinion is simply about this backlash, knee jerk reaction society seems to have when a shooting at a school occurs. We are all saddened, we are all hurt, and we want a solution as well as answers, now. Not later, now. I get it, I have kids, I feel the same way, it’s not easy sending your children off to school with this fear becoming a reality for so many families.

I do not think guns are to be blamed for these shootings. I think that a combination of things are to be blamed, yes, but not guns alone. Our right to bear arms is there for a reason, our history matters, what our Four Fathers created for our Constitution happened for a reason. Clearly, there was a reason for we the people to have a right to bear arms, we never will know the events that took place to put this into affect, but we must respect the Constitution, it’s there for a real valid reason; to protect We The People.

5 Thoughts about School Shootings

Here’s where I think our society goes wrong {in no particular order};

  • We lead very fast paced lives, in which we want things now not later, we hate to wait because technology allots us all that we desire immediately at the click of a keyboard button and so we have formed this mindset that things have to happen quickly, as if done within a snap of the finger. No good solution came overnight for any dilemma.
  • Children are raising themselves, and in some cases their siblings too. More and more parents must work in order to keep up the high cost demands of living. This has created a culture of children being left alone far too soon and far too often. Children raising children is never, ever a good idea, because they won’t learn necessary life skills and lessons that parents were meant to teach their youth.
  • Our children are having far too much screen time; i.e. violent video games, violent films and violent/degrading TV shows. Children who are spending an abundant amount of time in front of such violent and degrading electronic games or shows are being desensitized to the real harm in such violence and degrading behavior. Case in point: they confuse fantasy with reality.
  • Mental Health Awareness is not something many are educated enough on, many look to a disability as a physical impairment, but mental disabilities are just as much a cause for concern as a physical disability is {if not more}. Just ask someone who is bipolar how society treats them; as if they can control their own selves, but no they cannot. Many mental health issues are overlooked or not handled with proper medication and therapy, thus placing our society at risk with mentally disabled youth and adults walking our streets every day confused, bitter, depressed and having no where safe to turn.
  • Parents are not spending enough time raising their children, I mean truly raising them. It is our job, as parents, to teach life lessons, to educate them about various weapons they may see in their lives, to teach them about gun safety, to teach them ways to talk about problems, to teach them to open up, to know who they are and to be confident enough to know who to turn to when they are struggling in life for whatever reason. If parents were raising their kids more often, they may be more aware of their child when things start to go negative and thus get them the help that they need.

I certainly cannot point fingers to parents only, and I can’t blame society as a whole no more than I can blame the physical object of a gun on all of these school shootings. I can only share my insight, the thoughts and opinions that have been racing through my head each time I see another school shooting. I always feel sad, for the victims and for the person who felt the need to grab a gun and shoot some people to solve all of their deep emotional scars. Hurting others will never fix you. Hurting others will only hurt more people and most of all, it will hurt yourself because this is a crime with high consequences.

Real guns are real weapons; a tool to use in time of protection of family, protection of self, war and hunting to get meat for the family.

There is nothing wrong with kids playing pretend cops and robbers with pretend guns, they played such games back in the day and no one ever thought to bring a gun into a school and shoot people up, right? So what has changed in society that has made children think it’s okay to do such a thing? Well …. I made my list of why I think children believe that’s the answer, now you should make your own and let’s work together to solve this issue, one step at a time. There is no one answer to this problem, we need a combination of education, awareness and proactive parenting to really get to the bottom of this devastating issue.

 

Wordless Wednesday: Pool Side Weekend LINKY #ww

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Getting Kids Into the Work Force

I think it’s important to teach kids to work for their money, from a young age they can have chores assigned to them and earn some change for their weekly “allowance”. While I am not one to pay kids to do their basic chores, I have on occasion rewarded my children for a week well done. There are so many reasons to instill a hard working mentality into your child; the biggest being we are suppose to raise our children to be responsible, independent adults. Adults who are responsible and independent must have a job in order to succeed in that way of life. Those who don’t get instilled with this work skill from a young age, and have everything given to them, handed over by a parent who can afford to do so, doesn’t teach them a single thing. I do not believe in give, give give nor take, take, take. I firmly believe the world revolves best when there is a bit of both give and take.

I am a balance sort of chick. I like balance in my world and I believe that’s the best possible way for all to thrive!

I have slacked in the ways of teaching responsibility with my two sons, to be honest, I think every parent gets busy with life and fun that we lean off track for a bit, but we can get back on track at any moment we realize we are off track. This is my plan; to get back on track with my kids to ensure all three learn to work for a living and each strengthen their individual skills to pursue careers that make sense for them. My ideal mission is to ensure my children are able to work in some field that they love, therefore they never feel as if they have to work a day in their life; when you do what you love, you are a happier person.

With that being said, I will not raise my kids to only take on jobs that they love, sometimes we have to pick up odd and end jobs to push forward to our end goal of a job we love.

I started working at the ripe old age of 13 years old; my first job was in the pit area of a local race track. I worked in the food stands, where we made the food and served those coming in from the pit area at the race track. I honestly thought that was a great job to start with, plus back then I worked with my best friend at the time. It’s always great to be able to work at a place with friends!

As my oldest is now the age that allows her to take this local babysitting course and be a babysitting, I am saving money to pay for this class so that she can start babysitting for extra cash. At this time, my daughter mostly makes extra cash from just the sales of our book we wrote together, but that isn’t anything to live on for sure!

I plan to work each child into the job field as soon as possible, even if that means as teenagers I hire them to work for me and my websites. Whatever I can do to get these kids to start working as soon as they are old enough, I will do, it’s important to me and I feel it’s part of my Mom Job to do so.

More Thoughts From Brandy Ellen about Human Kind

I believe we, as human beings, need to step back and think before we speak {or post online}. That’s not to say I am not guilty of speaking, or typing, before thinking. It happens. We are all human.

What bothers me is when I see someone consistently getting up on this high horse of entitlement. People who choose to do certain things or live certain ways and want to diss others who may not be able to live that way or have any choice but to do what they do. Think about others before you speak, of course people are going to have hurt feelings. I am not talking about “all is fair in life mentality”, but more discussing those who look down upon human mistakes or inability for certain people to do certain things.

I’ve been that Mom. The single Mom who had to eat bread and butter, ramen noodles or mac n cheese or pasta and sauce on a regular. Yes, my child had to eat that crap too. On a regular. It wasn’t fun for me and I would have days where I felt like I was failing my child. If you have never been that Mom, then shut your mouth about what other parents should or should not do. Who are you to “know” them and how they live!

I’ve been that Mom who makes decisions that are best under circumstances I was living in. I always make what I feel is the best decision for myself but mostly for my children’s future. My children are always on my mind when I think of what to do next in life. They come first. Always.

I dislike watching people consistently point fingers and judgement when they have not walked in other people’s shoes. The only life these people know is the one they have, the experiences in which they have had in their life and who they are today. No two people have walked the same exact path. So think please before you assume you know all and think please before you judge a book by it’s damn cover.

I have been poor all of my damn life, I have used every last penny I have to make sure there is a roof over my children’s heads, food of some sort on their table, a ride to school for them to have an education. I make sure to put every last penny I have towards my children’s needs first. Always have. Always will.

With that being said, I don’t have anyone to pick up my pieces should things not go as I had planned nor hoped. I don’t have a family member I can move in with if the situation calls for it. I don’t have a relative with money to lend when times get tough. I have me. I have my children. That’s all. Sure, I do have a wonderful support system of both friends and family, but that doesn’t mean they can help me out of things I get into. They can be there emotionally and for advice, but beyond that – I am living an adult life that means I am unable to go back into my parents home or not work in some shape or form to support my children.

There are many parents who have certain luxuries I don’t have. Who cares. They are happy with their life and that’s all that matters. We need to start embracing our differences and stop pointing fingers in the name of trying to push someone else down to make us feel better. Give me a break, you should be uplifting yourself through uplifting of others – that my friends is the ultimate way to live.

This is just my opinion, you may disagree and I respect you for having that freedom to disagree.

Why Do Humans, Specifically Women, Over Analyze

It is always fascinating to me how we, humans, over analyze things. Men tend to not have this trait as often as females do; it seems men live pretty simply. Men know this is how it is and they go with it, again, not all men but a predominant amount of them seem to live life this way. Why is it then, that most females tend to second guess their own self? Why do we make an educated, heartfelt decision and then beat it to death with our over analyzing gene?

There is one theory that states woman have a better connection between thinking and speaking; this means most of us woman speak during our thought process. Women take the time to discuss their thoughts, where they are coming from and verbalize it. Men tend to think harder, ponder and then speak when ready. I am not sure if I feel either way is right or wrong, but I do think the fact that most women speak while going through the thought process can lead to over analyzing. Essentially men do the same thing, but no one is aware because they are not as vocal about it.

As it pertains to relationships, many women will analyze a man and the relationship because she has gone through experiences that led her to a path where certain things are unacceptable. Most women, at a certain age or stage in their life, realize what type of man will last long term with her. If that man exhibits a wide range of traits she sees as red flags, she will move on. NO questions asked, because her future¬† matters to her. That’s not to say men don’t do the same thing, women tend to think further ahead I feel than men who live in today.

I have held many conversations with men who admit that they haven’t really ever thought about tomorrow, they live in today and go day by day. As a parent, I have become a more proactive person; I live for today but I think about tomorrow in a productive, positive way. As a women and mother of three, I have certain needs that must be met as a mother as well as a women. Due to the fact that my middle child has special needs, I tend to analyze a lot of areas in my life. I need to ensure I am living for full happiness, as a whole, to ensure my children are progressing and thriving for their happiness as a whole.

Analyzing things helps me, as a woman and mother, to determine if my feelings are derived from hormones, stress or realistic expectations. Sadly, I can analyze something to death when I don’t like the outcome of my initial report, so to speak. I wonder why that is, why we question our thorough analysis of a situation? Can’t we have faith and confidence in our final decisions and reports?

I think experience and self worth plays a huge roll in how much we analyze something. I also think our gender plays a role. What I can say is this; I wish I would stop letting what other people feel get in the way with what I feel confident about for my future. I need to stand firm with all that is important to me, whether others agree, disagree or understand, at the end of the day all that matters is that I feel confident in my decisions. I am the one who has to live with my decisions, as well as my children, but my children usually can see me happier as I don’t make decisions lightly. When my children see me happier, they are happier. Period. Point Blank. That’s it.

I suppose my final analysis (being a woman and all) is that I believe women analyze things to death as a means to second guess ourselves based on experiences, the crowd we surround ourselves with and the simple fact that we get more flack than the men do when they  make decisions.

 

 

 

If You Could Hear You

If you could hear you

You would know

If you could hear you

You would go

If you could hear you

You would see

If you could hear you

You wouldn’t have me

If you could hear you

You would have peace

If you could hear you

You would be at ease

If you could hear you

You wouldn’t distress

If you could hear you

You would progress.

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