Being the first born child had always brought on, what I felt to be, more responsibilities.  As I grew into a rebellious teen who still focused on studies and got good grades, I realized that I was simply expected to do these things. I was the first born, the leader, someone who succeeds no matter what. The average leadership position is usually held by the first born child, I wish I could remember where I found this out but I swear I did learn this when I was part of Future Business Leaders of America (FBLA) in school.

I always had a love for working, making money and knew that I wanted to move out of my mom’s house as soon as possible which ended up being my senior year. I was 17 years old when I first moved out of my mother’s house, although I say first because there were times I went back for a few months to pay low rent in order to get back on my feet & find another rental location when life went off path.

I recall once I started working that it was something that was expected of me, I was expected to always have a job and was simply expected to be among the best. Should I have failed a course I would have received major attention in my household but since I didn’t it seemed my success was often overlooked, at least that is my perspective.

As I grew older and became a mother I realized just how it is to be the oldest child, granted I had one younger sister and my daughter has two younger brothers, one of which has a mood disorder situation going on, but still, I can see how I hold my first born to a higher standard more often than not. I am working on this because I don’t think it’s okay to let her success be overlooked, remember I was that child who felt overlooked due to her success in school smarts & general ability to adapt to almost any situation.  I often give praise to my daughter for her wonderful work in school and how well she does at home or maybe if she masters something new, she knows Mama will be right there to praise her efforts and/or success.

It’s so hard to be a parent, granted I have two young boys still and one daughter but I wonder some days where I gained my patience and how it takes me months to get to my “need a break” moment whereas it takes others only a day to deal with the kids full time to want to run away. Whatever the reason is, I am simply happy that I was born with this patience I have because without it I don’t know how I would get through a day let alone weeks as a full time Mom and virtual business owner.

It is extremely difficult to parent when your head is full of other things. I have learned that my issue now regarding getting my sons to stay in bed is that my mind is set on “it’s work time for Mama” instead of “get kids to bed now”, this means I get more overwhelmed, I am less apt to follow through and the boys know if they push hard enough and for long enough that Mama is going to have to sit to work so she will give in.

This past week I took time to get work done over the weekend so that I could devote 100% of my mind to getting the boys to stay in their beds. I needed my Mama rights back, I needed the boys to realize that while I love them dearly I mean business when I say it’s bedtime. There is to be no joking around, there is to be no hitting Mama and there is to be nothing more than two boys staying in their own bed falling asleep.

Once I was able to set aside a week of my time to deal with the boys and have no other thought about having to work I was better able to have a clear mind and be more efficient as a parent. It is amazing what a clear head can help you accomplish in parenting!

My sons still have moments where they test my weakness, but I stick to my guns and I have won this battle and am proud to say my sons, for the most part, are actually going to bed when they are suppose to! Next step: working on getting the boys to stay asleep all night long!

I absolutely love my children dearly and some days I feel like being a mother is the only part of my personal life I have done correct. Don’t get me wrong, parenting is simply something you do the best you know how to do, however, I am pretty confident in being a great mother!

The thing about me is that I am really good at taking the Mom hat off when the children are asleep or I get out of the house without children. It’s like I am a magician, no kids, poof the Mom in me just disappears! I am almost 30 years old but I don’t feel old at all. I feel young and even though some parts of my health are fading and my body may not be able to handle as much as it used to, I know I am  young at heart.

Maybe it’s from my father, watching him be a young man even as a grown man. Maybe it’s just the young, beautiful females on my Mom’s side of the family that keep me looking young thus I feel young. I don’t know what it is but I am forever being caught with something silly up my sleeve when those kids are not around.

I think it is very important to any adult to be able to take that parental hat off and let loose to have some fun. Your fun may not be the same as my fun but whatever your “fun” is, please remember to take that parental hat off and enjoy yourself from time to time … it will make you come back as a more refreshed, positive parent!

I recently went to Type-A Parent Conference in Asheville, NC. I enjoyed my trip so much that it isn’t even going to be a question, other than finances, that I go next year! The only issue I had with getting to Type-A was that I had a choice to drive 18 hours there or fly a couple hours there.  I quickly started tweeting about my fear of flying & how I should get to Type-A when @mommycosm tweeted back at me. She is a NH blogger just like me and just like me she was heading to Type-A as a volunteer. Kim is her name and she told me she would be my flying buddy. This all happened via Twitter, I love the power of Twitter (shameless plug, I am @brandyellen so you better follow me).

I started panicking once the tickets for the flight were purchased. We would be in a plane down to NC for about four hours because the route was taking us from Boston, MA airport down to Atlanta, GA then back up to Asheville, NC. Had we gone straight and not out of the way it would only have been a two hour flight much like that of our flight back home from NC.

I felt a little nervous the morning of the flight but I had only gotten about three hours of sleep so my drowsy demeanor probably helped in keeping the anxiety down. I met up with Kim in Boston and she showed me the ropes. We got onto the plane and I sat near the window, a place I didn’t think I would like because I tend to be claustrophobic. I loved looking over the clouds and down to the main land. The view from the airplane window was so amazing.

I didn’t freak out once, not over air pockets, not using the bathroom, nothing. I loved flying so much that now I don’t think I will question driving versus flying ever again. The only time I think flying versus driving will come into play is when we travel with the kids, in that case driving may suit us best.

I am ready for a vacation ….  wonder where I will fly next without the munchkins?

Related articles

• The Trip to Type-A Parent Conference #typeacon (happilyblended.com)
• Soon To Be Heading Home (happilyblended.com)
• Heading to Type-A Parent Conference #typeacon (happilyblended.com)
• Flying Is Me, Off to Type-A Conference #typeacon (happilyblended.com)
• Flying To NC in Less than 2 Weeks (momsvacationland.com)

Is it possible to give too much? I say no, because I am a firm believer that one must give their all in every situation in life. This leaves room for no doubt to the possibilities that could have been. Life is way to short to not exhaust yourself of every last possible, what if in life.

With each old situation a new situation arises… meaning once you have solved one challenge in life another will come to you. I have figured out that life is all about challenges, or tests so to speak. If you are a recovering addict of an addiction to something, each day you will be tested as to whether or not you have the strength to overcome your addiction. If you are a person who is in an unhappy relationship, each day you will be challenged or tested on your faithfulness.

Life is funny like that, it seems to know when you are becoming weak and needs to toss in a little test so to speak just to keep you on your toes and remind you that you are not weak, that you are strong and that you are capable of moving on from the current weak state of mind you have. You see a weak state of mind is normal, even someone as strong as I am has those weak moments.

Yes, I admit it, I have times when I feel like I am not good enough, but the only difference between someone who has low self esteem and my “weak moment” is that I seriously only allow that thought to take up but a moment of my time and quickly redirect my brain back to the fact that I am completely awesome and know it!

I know that you all can do your best, put your whole heart into life and what you get back will be ten fold!! You are strong, you are awesome and YOU my friend CAN DO THIS!

One thing about me is that I am a very passionate person, this goes with life, love, parenting, and writing. Some people do not understand me, the passionate, positive, happy go lucky chick. Most wonder, can this person really be this happy ALL of the time?! I will answer you this … I am not always smiling and always happy, but it does take a lot to get me down.

I have found my strength and I have found my therapy. Growing up with a lot of anger and bitterness towards those I love created an angry young adult, one who occasionally had self destructive behavior without even realizing that is what she was doing until later in life. My family was not aware and probably still is not 100% aware of all I have been through.

I could sit here and share with you all of what I have been through and the mistakes I made along the way to becoming who I am today, but I feel they are not important stories to share. What is important is I am a firm believer that you can not live in the past, you can not hold yourself back … all you can do is smile, follow your heart, live life to the fullest and never look back!

Following your heart, never looking back and being a positive person takes a lot of practice, I always tell my friends it is in the mindset. You see, one can easily allow the negative in our world and our lives to take control, one can easily live a content life just for the sake of not hurting others, but life is what you make of it! Although it is hard to focus your mind on something more positive, I know you can do it, if I can go from being a negative, very angry person and such then I know you can work towards being a positive thinker!

So what are you waiting for? What is great about today? Leave a comment below!