I happened upon a deal, actually a steal over at Dollar General one day and it was this book, In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms (Large Print) By Dr. Laura Schlessinger, which happened to be a steal at only $1.50. I just had to grab it. I’m not great at spending money on myself but my boyfriend dropped it into our basket and said it’s only a couple bucks. Get it if you want it. So I had to get it.
I am so happy that my boyfriend tossed this book into our basket telling me to just get the darn book because it has been one of those books that I just cannot put down. Of course being a busy Mom of three who also works from home while the kids are either in school or sleeping, I don’t have hours upon hours to read but when I do get that moment I pull out this book. I had never heard of Dr. Laura before now but I can see she is my kind of gal! I agree with pretty much all of what Dr. Laura has to say.
I find myself reading along with the book and letters shared that people wrote to Dr. Laura during her radio show that capture just how hard yet rewarding it is to be a stay at home Mom. While I call myself a “work at home Mom”, I do believe the two go hand in hand. In all reality, just as I have always said before – being a Mom is a job in itself. Essentially all stay at home moms whether earning paper money or hugs and kisses for income; are indeed working!
This book reminded me of something that happened to me during my first months of being a Mom to my oldest child, you see society doesn’t look highly upon stay at home Mom’s. With all the push for Woman to be Equals and Woman to Make Money because it’s not “fair” for the man to be the financial bread winner while the wife slaves away at home keeping the house a home …. at least society likes to view it that way. Anyways, here is my experience of someone putting me down for being a Mommy … and it came from a man whom I looked up to, someone who encouraged me to use my creative writing skills in a more imaginative way, this was a man who I adored and it hurt me to have this situation happen;
Walking out of the grocery store, laughing and giggling with my baby girl in the front of the grocery cart, I happened upon my old writing teacher from my elementary years. He was an elderly man at this time but still looked much like he did when he taught me to use my creative writing skills in a useful way. I looked over to him and said hi with such a happy look on my face, you know that “first time Mom” beaming face of pride? Yeah. That look. When I introduced him to my baby girl he replies “Brandy, you had more brains than that” and as I fought off tears, I gently smiled, nodded my head and proceeded to my vehicle where I just cried and cried.
I was so sad that a man who I had looked up to, a man who had taught me to use my words better in my writing, a man who was simply awesome in my mind could say such a thing. I know he meant it in the best of intentions, I am sure, he is from a different era than I am and he, above anyone else, encouraged my smart side. I didn’t have a lot of that type of support back in those days and he meant the world to me. For a man to say such a thing as “you had more brains than that” about me becoming a Mommy at age 20 going on 21, made me so sad.
Finally, I was able to realize that the man meant no harm, but I am sure he lived in an era where woman had no rights and woman had to fight to get any ounce of acknowledgement for their “brains” because it was meant that woman would just be home makers. The thing is that, while reading In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms (Large Print) By Dr. Laura Schlessinger, I have only been enlightened more about my decision to be a work at home aka stay at home mom. To me, having my seven year old son have his Mom there to get him after school and work with him so much in teaching him skills to use his words instead of being aggressive during a mood switch with his mood disorder is worth every single little materialistic item I give up to be a work from home Mom.
Sure, I may not have it all in the form of things people can see, but inside of my heart, that week when my seven year old told me not once but twice that I was “the best Mommy in the world” … well my friends that feeling alone couldn’t be replaced by an ounce of money dropped in my bank account. I wanted to be the one raising my children and while it isn’t always a smooth ride, there are down days where I miss working at the office, I wouldn’t trade this for anything. This was the best decision I have made in my life and the rewards? oh gosh … they are so full of heart felt emotions and love that no money could ever compensate for these years I get with my children.
So I am reaching out to everyone in society, when you want to look down upon someone who is “just” a stay at home Mom, remember that is 1) their right and choice to raise their children by making other sacrifices to keep their family unit whole and 2) it’s a wondrous, selfless act to be a stay at home Mom. People could learn a whole heck of a lot from stay at home Moms, they really could!