Random Happiness Thoughts and Pictures #familylife

I talk a lot about what brings me complete joy and anyone who is near me can feel the happiness radiate off of me when I am around all three of my children. I just adore my children, but not in the way that I am closed minded to their imperfections. We all have imperfections, we all have to work on our inner self each day. I feel that growing as a person, never stops.

With that being said, welcome to a glimpse into my true inner happiness….

photo 4 Random Happiness Thoughts and Pictures #familylife

The sun shined down and I was able to dress down a bit. Shown above is my first of three tattoos I have. This one is my first favorite because it’s a shamrock on my lower right ankle that is meant to be a tat for my first born. Some day, when money allows, I will add my daughter’s name to this tattoo. My daughter has requested that she be there when I have that done. Warm weather and the ability to show my tattoo side makes me happy.

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No one could have ever explained to me the feeling you get when you hold your first born niece. I fell in love with this little bitty girl 15 months ago and she continues to amaze me. This is Livy, my niece, who is shown above grabbing my hair {gently} and turning to say MINE. I swear she was having hair envy in that moment. Spending time with my sister and her baby girl bring me happiness.

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Watching my middle child, who rarely enjoys the great outdoors, play at the local playground while waiting for his sister the other day was such fun. I enjoy seeing this child happy because out of all three of my children, he is the one who doesn’t waste emotions. This son of mine is happy if he’s happy and sad if he’s sad, mad if he’s mad. Period. That’s it. There is always a pretty reasonable reason for his feelings too. Very simple and I love him for it. Spending time outside with my children, just being a kid with them brings me happiness.

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Last but not least, spending quality time with my children is important and nothing makes me happier than when my children jump up to sit on this counter top while I am doing dishes or dinner and chatting it up with me. The simple fact that I am still important to them, even my oldest, makes me smile from inside out. Spending time listening to my children speak about what is going on in their world, brings me happiness.

I suppose, you can gather from this post that most of what brings me happiness is a side of me with a main course in parenthood. I hope you find happiness in your world every day!

 

 Random Happiness Thoughts and Pictures #familylife

My Prayers Always Get Answered

The best job I have, is being a Mom. I adore being a Mommy and as I pray each night I feel God guiding me. I will listen to him and keep Faith for he has shown me signs that no other person will understand. I don’t always understand what God has in plan for me, but I feel his presence as I pray for guidance, strength and signs. Many of my friends who have Faith will understand, I am simply letting go and leaving my heart into God’s hands, he is guiding me and I believe there’s a positive reason for the direction I am being guided. I feel a weight lift off of me each time I let go and follow His signs. If I question his signs, guidance and strength, then I feel weighted again. Faith is an amazing tool that can question your world and heart. In all reality, it is super scary to follow what feels uplifting. I know many of the directions I am led through having Faith, don’t make sense to others, but all decisions make me feel very calm at the end of the day. I feel as if I am living with purpose now that I continue to pray and have become a believer in God.

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I don’t pray for God to fix things. I don’t pray for God to make my life easier. I pray for strength, guidance and eyes to be open for the signs around me. I firmly believe that the signs I have seen have made this boulder lift off of my shoulder, I feel more confident in moving forward than I did before I started seeking guidance.  My brain was all over the board, if I spoke with a friend or relative who seemed to have that tone or look that they were not approving of my words or decisions, I would second guess myself. After all, my elders know best right?

I think God knows best. I believe He knows my heart better than anyone else. I believe my Aunt Robin watches over me too. I’m not saying you have to believe, I am simply sharing what I have seen happen for me.

I recently found myself questioning decisions I made a year ago and I was lost. I felt confused. I felt completely utterly hopeless for a bit. I blamed it on the Winter months, after all the long Winter with less sun really does play a key role in my moods but honestly, it’s something deeper than that for me. Or maybe it’s something more on the surface really. I am just not happy and in order to fully comprehend why and what I should do, I turned to my Faith.

I prayed. I Prayed hard. I Prayed every night. I prayed sometimes just to talk to God, just to speak aloud to him because I knew he understood. I knew he would guide me properly, with a clear head.

It’s scary letting go like that, but I will tell you I feel more confident and secure in some of the decisions I am about to make because I know He is leading me in the direction or at least he’s with me in my heart to keep me strong as I make my own decisions based on my deep belief in that each of us need to keep focus on our inner happy, even if that means being a Single Parent. I have seen myself as a single parent, and I am so much more confident, happier, and stronger. I think it’s time to let go and stop questioning where I have been guided, the signs are all around me. God has shown me many signs and it’s only when I question those signs that I feel that weight push down upon me. Whatever is going on, be it Faith or something else, I believe.

I believe. And I will follow.

“Image courtesy of franky242 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

 My Prayers Always Get Answered

What’s True Love? This is True Love.

True love is something different for everyone. For me, it’s all about showing love in actions and affection versus just speaking of such love. This true love stuff was proven to be real for me this past weekend when …

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We have this counter in the home we bought this past July and the counter is awkward. The counter is one that is to your right upon walking into our home and has become a clutter fest of my second crock pot, a deep fryer, bills, paperwork, pocket book and so on. It’s a very large counter-top area because it covers what used to be an entrance to the basement. It sucks. To be honest.

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Now, normally the OCD of my fiance drives me up a wall. I am not joking when I say something and he jumps. This counter-top issue was no exception! I had been thinking for a while now that I needed some form of shelving on this counter-top to create a more organized space. I wanted a way to store our deep fryer and secondary crock pot as well as my large blender and smoothie blender. I literally had to say “hmm I really would love to have a couple of shelves in the kitchen, you know above that counter?!” and the man jumped. No kidding. He and I, at the same time, realized that we do have some lumber we could use to create such a shelf idea and the fiance went to work.

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This counter-top went from what you see on the left, which really doesn’t show the WHOLE area, to what yo see on the right. I am talking about one happy happy woman here. I honestly was reminded in this moment how my needs are also important to my fiance and he will do anything within his power to ensure that I am just as happy as he is …. together.

So there you have it, the way to this gal’s heart is by making her kitchen shelves. What is your one true love incident that made you swoon over the love of your life?

 Whats True Love? This is True Love.

Having Less Tolerance for Environmental or Self Induced Situations

I was talking with one of my best friends the other day and she hit the nail on the head with how I’ve been feeling lately. Due to my son Aj having special needs, who will soon undergo autism evaluation but has always had special needs regardless of whatever future diagnosis he receives, I have found myself with zero tolerance for behaviors that are stemmed from environmental aspects.

Allow me to explain; raising a child that has special needs has opened my eyes to realize far too many adults place their children into unnecessary drama filled lies and in turn ruin their children. It’s an uphill battle every day for me, for the past seven years, to raise my son Aj who was first diagnosed ADHD, then later mood disorder with anxiety and now being evaluated for autism instead. I have had a long many of years working with my son to ensure he thrives at life, always has a positive home environment and the structure of his home is one he can thrive and grow in. I do not have any control on outside influences so I am sure to raise him in a way that allows him to blossom to the best of his abilities. I also raise my other two children the same.

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I have zero tolerance for children or even adults who know better. My son Aj doesn’t always know better in some areas of life. Aj struggles to understand social ques, that life doesn’t happen the same way every day and he struggles in ways that most of us take for granted. That means when my own children or other people’s children act amuck, I have zero tolerance for that behavior. I guess raising a child with special needs really opens your eyes to other families and people who create such drama upon their own self and their own children and it makes you sick to your stomach.

I have no time for the excess drama. I have no time for people who wish to live in a way that belittles their children, that brings their children down and confuses them thus creating a very negative childhood. I much prefer seeing adults who can lead their family by example, sucking up issues they have within their own self, or better yet adults getting help for their issues. Sadly, most adults won’t acknowledge their inner deep issues so therefore they “have none and it’s all you”. I beg to differ.

I am the strength for my children. I have always been and I will always be. That won’t ever change. I am who I am and I worked damn hard to get here today. I worked on my inner demons, I accepted things I couldn’t change and I sucked things up to be the parent and co-parent I needed to be and still need to be for my children. With that being said, it doesn’t mean my life is full of awesomeness and great days, happiness is not about always feeling happy. Happiness is a place you get to within your own self, a place of inner peace and with that comes the ability to work out any challenges.

I, however, also know when to back away from something that is out of my control. I also know when enough is enough and I realize this isn’t benefiting my children nor myself. One thing that my bestest of friends will remind me is this; no matter what happens in your life, no matter how much you may love certain people, if those people and their situations bring you down and change who you are, then it’s time to rethink and find a way to resolve and/or move on from the situation. I am not scared to do what needs to be done in order to continue living a fulfilled life of happiness. I will not allow myself nor my children to fall prey to those who wish to stem more drama in their lives. I don’t do drama, it literally makes me sick to my stomach.

What I do do, is raise my children and keep myself moving forward. My children are very important to the future and so should yours be.  I have a zero tolerance policy for lack in parenting that has resulted in a display of ill behaved children later in life. I cannot say my children are perfect but I can say they learn from their mistakes, always, because I have raised them and parented them – not been their best friend. Being a parent is all about balancing the treatment of children as individuals, teaching them consequences will happen for their actions and that they are respected, trusted and loved regardless of whether they don’t think so in the moment of a parent having to discipline them. I have heard it all, but at the end of the day, my children no matter how upset from a decision I make, love and respect me and still to this day come to me when they need a shoulder to lean on and an ear to vent to.

“Image courtesy of jscreationzs / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

Why is it So Hard for Many to Just Be Happy?

What others do is none of my business. In all reality, whether another person chooses to lead a life of happiness or sadness really shouldn’t bother me. The thing is, that it DOES.

I have had so many bad things happen to me, when I have been asked to share my story with others. The story of where I have been and come from based on my own experiences of life, my view of it. I am often praised for not having such a bitter, negative taste in my mouth about all of the crap I have been through. Some crap was my own fault, other crap was the result of my bad choices and other crap was just because of how I happen to view the scenario.

I make a conscious choice to be happy each day.

I make a conscious choice to live my life happy.

I make a conscious effort to ensure no one else can bring me down.

I make a conscious effort to uplift and help others when I can.

I make a conscious effort to walk away from those who have such deep wounds that I can’t help them.

You see, I love being happy and of course that means I want to do all I can to help others be happy. The truth is, just like I recently told someone close to my world – you cannot help others who won’t help themselves. It’s not our place to fix anyone else. We can simply be here for them but make a conscious choice to walk away if the situation calls for it.

There are so many of my online friends who make similar choices to me; to lead a happy life, to be happy based on our own person. Happiness is found within and so many of my online friends agree. Yet, there are a small few who don’t see it that way. It’s like they say they are trying to be happy but “everything goes wrong” or they are trying to be happy but “everyone doesn’t get them”.

I mean seriously …. if you are honestly trying to work on yourself, then like a close friend on Facebook stated the other day, you cannot be completely happy until you work to heal wounds deep within yourself. It’s one thing to choose to be positive and lead a happy life, its another thing to be completely, deeply, spiritually happy within. To be completely positive and happy you must face demons within, move forward from the hurt inside and YES a lot of times this means therapy.

If you cannot face your past hurts then you are not going to be able to fully move on in life. Make a concsious effort to work to heal those wounds, you won’t regret it! It will be difficult and you will shed a lot of tears but the end result will be so worth it ….

 Why is it So Hard for Many to Just Be Happy?

Celebrating Stay at Home Moms with Dr. Laura Schlessinger #sahm #wahm

I happened upon a deal, actually a steal over at Dollar General one day and it was this book, In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms (Large Print) By Dr. Laura Schlessinger Celebrating Stay at Home Moms with Dr. Laura Schlessinger #sahm #wahm, which happened to be a steal at only $1.50. I just had to grab it. I’m not great at spending money on myself but my boyfriend dropped it into our basket and said it’s only a couple bucks. Get it if you want it. So I had to get it.

I am so happy that my boyfriend tossed this book into our basket telling me to just get the darn book because it has been one of those books that I just cannot put down. Of course being a busy Mom of three who also works from home while the kids are either in school or sleeping, I don’t have hours upon hours to read but when I do get that moment I pull out this book. I had never heard of Dr. Laura before now but I can see she is my kind of gal! I agree with pretty much all of what Dr. Laura has to say.

In Praise of Stay at Home Moms Large Print By Dr. Laura Schlessinger Celebrating Stay at Home Moms with Dr. Laura Schlessinger #sahm #wahmI find myself reading along with the book and letters shared that people wrote to Dr. Laura during her radio show that capture just how hard yet rewarding it is to be a stay at home Mom. While I call myself a “work at home Mom”, I do believe the two go hand in hand. In all reality, just as I have always said before – being a Mom is a job in itself. Essentially all stay at home moms whether earning paper money or hugs and kisses for income; are indeed working!

This book reminded me of something that happened to me during my first months of being a Mom to my oldest child, you see society doesn’t look highly upon stay at home Mom’s. With all the push for Woman to be Equals and Woman to Make Money because it’s not “fair” for the man to be the financial bread winner while the wife slaves away at home keeping the house a home …. at least society likes to view it that way. Anyways, here is my experience of someone putting me down for being a Mommy … and it came from a man whom I looked up to, someone who encouraged me to use my creative writing skills in a more imaginative way, this was a man who I adored and it hurt me to have this situation happen;

Walking out of the grocery store, laughing and giggling with my baby girl in the front of the grocery cart, I happened upon my old writing teacher from my elementary years. He was an elderly man at this time but still looked much like he did when he taught me to use my creative writing skills in a useful way. I looked over to him and said hi with such a happy look on my face, you know that “first time Mom” beaming face of pride? Yeah. That look. When I introduced him to my baby girl he replies “Brandy, you had more brains than that” and as I fought off tears, I gently smiled, nodded my head and proceeded to my vehicle where I just cried and cried.

I was so sad that a man who I had looked up to, a man who had taught me to use my words better in my writing, a man who was simply awesome in my mind could say such a thing. I know he meant it in the best of intentions, I am sure, he is from a different era than I am and he, above anyone else, encouraged my smart side. I didn’t have a lot of that type of support back in those days and he meant the world to me. For a man to say such a thing as “you had more brains than that” about me becoming a Mommy at age 20 going on 21, made me so sad.

Finally, I was able to realize that the man meant no harm, but I am sure he lived in an era where woman had no rights and woman had to fight to get any ounce of acknowledgement for their “brains” because it was meant that woman would just be home makers. The thing is that, while reading In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms (Large Print) By Dr. Laura Schlessinger Celebrating Stay at Home Moms with Dr. Laura Schlessinger #sahm #wahm, I have only been enlightened more about my decision to be a work at home aka stay at home mom. To me, having my seven year old son have his Mom there to get him after school and work with him so much in teaching him skills to use his words instead of being aggressive during a mood switch with his mood disorder is worth every single little materialistic item I give up to be a work from home Mom.

Sure, I may not have it all in the form of things people can see, but inside of my heart, that week when my seven year old told me not once but twice that I was “the best Mommy in the world” … well my friends that feeling alone couldn’t be replaced by an ounce of money dropped in my bank account. I wanted to be the one raising my children and while it isn’t always a smooth ride, there are down days where I miss working at the office, I wouldn’t trade this for anything. This was the best decision I have made in my life and the rewards? oh gosh … they are so full of heart felt emotions and love that no money could ever compensate for these years I get with my children.

So I am reaching out to everyone in society, when you want to look down upon someone who is “just” a stay at home Mom, remember that is 1) their right and choice to raise their children by  making other sacrifices to keep their family unit whole and 2) it’s a wondrous, selfless act to be a stay at home Mom. People could learn a whole heck of a lot from stay at home Moms, they really could!

 Celebrating Stay at Home Moms with Dr. Laura Schlessinger #sahm #wahm