I have been having a rough time getting into the positive vibe lately. Between finances and personal issues both emotional and financial it seems I have forgotten what makes me happy, some of my own faults I need to work on and that life is too short to think about the past. This is my video to share with you all my thoughts on life both personal and professional.

I ask you all this question, what have you learned about yourself looking back? Are there things you will be working on making better about yourself so that you can have a better future and life? Share with me in a comment below or do a video response on YouTube!

In December my other blog Happily Blended will be featuring various craft ideas, that I will be doing with my kids so that I can post real life pictures and such. I have been reading Disney Family Fun magazine and let me tell you what this magazine rocks!

Not only have I found a ton of craft ideas in their December/January 2012 edition but I have also found some great tips and tricks to parenting!

So get ready for me to share a ton of craft ideas … some here some there …. how do you decorate for the holiday season?

Have you ever been so broke that you couldn’t pay for propane to heat the hot water or to use your stove? Have you ever been so out of cash that you had to live on kerosene being placed into your oil tank by the five gallon tanks you use for gas in your car or lawn mower? Have you ever lived on macaroni and cheese or worse yet Ramon noodles?

I have.

But no one knew.

I think the only person who has known the exact depths of my struggles I have faced since I first became a mother in 2002 is my father but beside him it’s really only me, because I don’t share this information with others. When I am facing a financial hurdle in my own life I rarely blog about it, talk about it or spread the news. Why? Because it’s far too personal and opens a door for pity.

I wouldn’t ever wish pity upon me, because I don’t even have any idea how to feel pity for myself or others. It’s not that I am not compassionate, I am an extremely compassionate person, it’s that I truly believe with a change in attitude directed such as the “I CAN DO THIS” attitude really helps make a change more so than dwelling in self pity or feeling pity towards another person.

With being poor, it’s not always visible and one can be poor one month and then bounce right back on track the next month while others may stay poor for an extremely long period of time. When a person is out of luck financially they don’t need your pity, they don’t need handouts because if they went from being completely self sufficient to needing help – handouts can usually make them feel worse.

What a person needs who is hard on their luck is some human compassion, prayers if that be your way of helping and some positive thinking. Maybe you know someone who has a business or a skill and they are having financial issues, one way to help this person would be to spread the word about their skill and help them gain clients to increase their income.

There are ways to help those down on their financial luck without giving handouts or feeling pity. Let’s try to help another person this year, let’s not pity them, let’s not make them feel any worse, let’s work together as a community to help lift them up beyond this temporary state of financial hadrship!

It’s funny the other day I was thinking about how I don’t really fit in with any particular crowd. As I watch my oldest start having cliques in school where the girls are friends with this group of girls and yet not friends with the other group of girls I wonder, where does anyone fit in really?

I think that every person has something unique about them that sets them apart from a clique and I would like to think that even within each clique the individual person gets bored at times with whatever the other girls may be doing.

For me, I don’t fit in with the upper class generation who spends money insanely and has a lot of materialistic items. I don’t fit in with those who have no money and live on the side of the road without a roof over their heads. I don’t fit in with the middle class who bitch about money and yet have enough to get bye. I am simply me and I like being part of every group, I enjoy chatting with all walks of life and really do enjoy a diversified group to call friends. I doubt I would ever been truly happy hanging with one particular “clique” ever.

I am a bit of a child adult, I always say I will forever be a toys r us kid and it’s so true. I am that goofy immature girl who loves to act a fool with or without alcohol. I am that mature business woman who can sell you anything to make a commission when need be. I am that girl who is the mom figure and can totally show my children great morals and good character. I am a bit of everything and therefore I fit in with ME and that is all that matters.

Between the three year old telling me that my foot best be watching out for his feet wearing my clunky heeled dress shoes, the five year old screaming for computer game time and the nine year old constantly being bored I tell you I don’t know how I do it.

I don’t know how I don’t run screaming for the looney bin most days. I certainly understand why, as my natural hair color comes through in my roots, I have more greys than I had last time I let my natural hair color shine through.

For me, a vacation is something along the lines of hopping in my van, totally kid free and blasting some country or pop music on the radio. All I need is a short drive with loud music and no children to refresh myself.

After driving just a few short minutes downtown and back home in a van, with no kids, my mind is ready to come back and deal with the boredom, feet stomping and whining from the children.

I think that this time of year I am mostly thankful for the fact that I know when to take a mini break to be the best parent possible!

NO. Can you imagine setting up the perfect proposal and getting down on one knee professing your love to someone when you await her reply and she says no? Me neither. That would be so embarrassing, devastating and heart breaking, right? But this is what love is all about – taking a chance, going out on a limb. Modern technology has made it easier for people to lose that communication bond that holds so many 70 year anniversary couples together, you see those older lovely couples had to talk to each other. They could not hide behind a computer screen, a cell phone text message or run to hide away from their spouse in their home office to chat on Facebook with other friends. They only had each other.

When I see a picture of a couple celebrating a long anniversary or hear that my Great Grandparents are celebrating another year of marriage, I tend to get teary eyed. Thanks Single Dad Laughing – you made me cry with all those photos the other day, but only because one was of an older couple celebrating 70 years of marriage, and I only shed a couple happy tears.

It seems that fear of the unknown keeps some men at bay, they hide behind that fear and refuse to go out on a limb with the perfect, most sweetest proposal for the fear of the love of their life saying no.  Hell if I let the fear of the word no keep me from anything in life I wouldn’t be here working from home, supporting three children. Heck the reply no makes me stronger, you see if you take the time to go all out and propose to the love of your life and she says no, well now you realize that maybe you both are not on the same path, or maybe she just doesn’t feel ready for marriage quite yet.

You see, if you don’t go out on a limb you will live your life in question, surrounded by fear. The adventure of life begins when you go out on a limb and face your fears, do what you know in your heart is what you want and everything else will fall into line with that when the time is right.

Okay I want to hear it – have any of you proposed and she said NO? Maybe you are the girl who said no?  Please share your story with me, I may feature your story on my site! {with your permission of course}