Although some romantic movies have pieces of real life relationships, most are really just depicting some fantasy relationship that only happens when one lives their life as if a storybook character is their real person. It’s extremely difficult to watch all of the romantic movies that they have on the market and not find some small hope that your love life could even be a small sample of what you see on the big screen.

For me, romantic movies do only one thing for me; remind me I don’t have the communication level I wish I had. Oh I can talk, ramble on for hours and easily state what is on my mind, but to find a person who can communicate back within the same time period is difficult. It’s easy to say you want communication to change between your partner and your self, but it’s harder to find out why the lack of communication is there.

If the lack of communication has been there from day one, well maybe you need to do some thinking because if this is truly how your partner in life is wired and they do not feel it’s something that needs to be changed within their own self, then it won’t change. We are who we are and no one can change another person!

For me, watching a romantic film in the present day has me longing for a partner who I can bounce off of with ease, we laugh, we joke and above all we simply just talk about everything. For me, watching a romantic movie in the past created this vision of some high sprung love affair that only happens in either movies or the first few months of dating a person.

After reading the stories being shared with me for the I Met My Love Online series happening at Happily Blended during the month of February, I have found that these real life stories are not only entertaining and giving hope to my readers, but they are showing me the “real” side of dating, love and life.

I am thankful for a lot of things but lately I am thankful for the fact that I have developed such a bond with my children that they have trust to confide in me about anything. I also have such a bond with my children, as do most parents, to know when they are not telling the truth or exaggerating a situation.

The only problem with having this type of relationship with your children is that when they confide things to you that must be told to other people in order for any changes to be made. It breaks ones heart knowing that you have to do something to fix the situation, but your hands are tied since you can’t do this alone. It’s not that you don’t want to fight alone, it’s that it is not even possible.

I am hopeful that my words of wisdom such as;

You can only feel what another person attempts to make you feel if you allow it.

And;

You know in your heart & soul who you are as a person, an individual, you know what is true and what is false. Never allow another person’s negative attitude or beliefs get you to double think what you know in your heart to be true.

These are values I teach my children and remind myself almost every day. As a grown woman it is difficult for even me to accept these words of wisdom for which I have taught myself to live by for the past few years. I can not imagine having a child attempt to comprehend these words of wisdom right away. I only hope that my words of positive wisdom will eventually sink into the hearts and minds of my children, in turn creating a confident set of children that will blossom in this world through the path of teenager life, adult life and beyond.

It is simply amazing how fast an alcohol problem can sneak up on you without you even realizing. Taking one sip of alcohol one night may feel great, relaxing and allow you to wind down in a way that you never were able to. Who knew the stress of life was so easily removed when that alcohol hits your heart and warms your soul, a smile is surely inevitable when alcohol is in your system.

There is a growing epidemic among moms in the world, we are turning to alcohol in small amounts through out our days as a way to feel more at ease, a way to get lost or simply a way to interact with other moms during play dates. One glass of alcohol may not place you over the legal limit driving your child home from a play-date, but are you really willing to take that chance? The Mom in Best Kept Secret did, she took that chance over and over. Even after someone stepped in and custody of her son was jeopardized this mom still didn’t realize that she had a problem.

I think it’s normal for any mom to think that a glass of alcohol here or there isn’t a problem, it’s a small amount and everyone else at the play-dates or mom get together were enjoying casual conversation over a glass of wine too. Other moms are hiding their alcohol problem, sneaking some alcohol in their coffee every morning, drinking after the kids are asleep in large consumptions and lying to friends and family about just how much alcohol they are consuming.

If you are a person lying to yourself and others about your alcohol consumption, you may quite possible have an alcohol problem. Take a look first at your family history, do you have a lot of alcohol use in your family genes? Alcoholics run rampid in my family and it’s such a hard thing to fight. I was told years ago that I pretty much have a 99.9% chance of becoming an alcoholic based on family history alone. Scary, right?

I have made my own mistakes regarding alcohol and I learn from them every time. I do not break the law when it comes to alcohol consumption, I hate hearing about drunk and buzzed drivers, and I get concerned when I find parents are getting wasted near their children. I am all for enjoying a glass of alcohol here and there, but when you have a true alcohol problem, it may be best to say goodbye to that alcohol for good.

Here are some tests to see if you may possible be addicted to alcohol:

• Stop drinking even for one day, note how your mind and body reacts. If you can’t seem to get your mind off wanting that alcohol, you may have a problem.
• Stop drinking for a few days, if not a week, do you start having withdrawal systems, such as shivers, anger and an uncontrollable urge to sleep? If you have any negative symptoms you may have an alcohol problem.
• Are your friends and family concerned about you? Do you seem more withdrawn from society in a way that is negative? If you have any of these things going, you may have an alcohol problem.

While watching Dr Drew one night on HLN I found out that rehab was actually created for alcoholics, and that alcohol withdrawals can be more dangerous than any other addiction. I would love to one day share my story on alcohol and alcohol addiction, but that’s too much to share today.

If you or someone you love is struggling with using alcohol as a way to cope with life, whether in a hidden way or wide open for the world to see, please, I beg of you, find a way to step in and help them. The best way is not to tell them that they have a problem, because until a person realizes that they do have a problem on their own, there isn’t much you can do to get them to seek assistance or want to stop. Be the friend you should be and do your best to share knowledge about alcoholism and do it in a polite, respectful but “I mean business” and am concerned sort of way.

Sure there will be some hard roads when you or your friend stop drinking alcohol and go through  major withdrawal symptoms but the end result is sooooo worth it. If anything, get your friend to read Best Kept Secret because this is a fantastic, eye opening book for any one who has known, is struggling with or currently knows someone with an alcohol addiction. Oh and if your friend or you have a Kindle, Best Kept Secret is on the Kindle too. Out of all the books I read in 2011, this one struck a cord with me deep to my soul.

Related articles

• Alcohol Is Part Of My Family Tree… (arealmummydiary.wordpress.com)
• Hangovers over? The Chinese compound that may stop hangovers, reduce alcoholism – Toronto Star (thestar.com)
• Love Letters: Does he drink too much? (boston.com)

I was always taught at various classes and counseling sessions I have been to in my life that a child will always figure out the faults in a parent without the other parent trying to bring light to those faults. When a parent tries to bring light to another parents faults, as they see them to be, it only causes hurt, pain and sometimes anger within their child. The child may grow resentment towards the parent that is down talking the other parent and in turn what the parent thought was protection turns into a mess!

My parents divorced when I was around 11 years old give or take, and it was so hard being a child at that age with divorcing parents. I don’t have a lot of memories about how I felt back then or issues I may have had right away but in the long run I do know it messed with me having two parents who divorced and truly couldn’t get along. I remember it being so difficult, I didn’t want my parents being put down by anyone let alone by each other. Eventually I grew older and became a parent of my own two weeks before I turned 21. When I became a mother, it all clicked, I realized with the help of counseling and parenting courses that co-parents can get along at a level that is beneficial for a child. The co-parents don’t have to like each other, but they need to find that common ground to raise their child without making the child feel as if they have to choose a side.

When it comes to a child and their parents, they do not want to have to pick Dad over Mom or Mom over Dad, honestly that is all bullshit! A parent should never, ever want a child to choose one over the other, it is a ridiculous thought to me, yet so many co-parents pit their child against each other and it does nothing but ruin the future of that child’s life! The child will eventually grow to despise one or both parents and look for other places to find love. The options for a child to find love are not speakable to me, because I walked that path. I would never wish that life upon another child, whether the child is that of my own blood or not.

It’s extremely difficult when you do not like another human being to shut your mouth and not utter a word while your child learns the ins and outs of how each parent works, but you can do it! Believe me, if I can learn to do it, you can too, no matter how difficult. The best way to work with a child who has co-parents and is having a difficult time with one of the parents is to just take the high road and give them a hug, listen and do not judge. Allow that child the time to collect their own thoughts and make their own final decision regarding the situation or parent. If you are unable to listen and be as unbiased as you can, then maybe it’s time that child spoke with a counselor, seeing a counselor is not a bad thing, believe me…. I see a counselor every couple of weeks to assist in parenting techniques and it has been a blessing!

Whether you are struggling with co-parenting, keeping your mouth shut about negative adjectives regarding the other parent or just not sure what to do, believe me, there is help out there. Seek parenting classes, anger management, whatever resource you feel fits your situation, please take advantage of it. Making yourself a better parent is a daily job and it’s vitally important to your child’s future!

Does it really matter what one chooses for an occupation or what they choose to do as a parent? I mean seriously people. I live my life in such a way that I choose not to judge another parents decision, although inside of my own head I may cringe at the idea of elementary students on Facebook or young children raising younger siblings, but that is just my own internal thoughts. I would never lash out, place judgement or verbal/emotionally abuse another parent regarding their decisions. Take a moment to listen to my thoughts regarding the topic of SAHM’s, WAHM’s and work outside of the home Moms… {oh yeah and check out the Queen of the House Mom hat my daughter made me that I wore in the video – LOL}

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic, do you agree that we should just all respect each other as parents and realize that we all do our best to raise the kids we have? Every parent is different, we raise our children to the best of our capabilities and we make family decisions based on what works for us inside of our own homes so can we all just leave well enough alone?

I have been having a rough time getting into the positive vibe lately. Between finances and personal issues both emotional and financial it seems I have forgotten what makes me happy, some of my own faults I need to work on and that life is too short to think about the past. This is my video to share with you all my thoughts on life both personal and professional.

I ask you all this question, what have you learned about yourself looking back? Are there things you will be working on making better about yourself so that you can have a better future and life? Share with me in a comment below or do a video response on YouTube!