I don’t have to even explain how close my daughter and I are. My daughter is 11 and was born 10 days before I turned 21 years old. I knew from day one the type of relationship I wanted to have with my daughter …
I could go on and on about our relationship and closeness but it really comes down to the fact that I AM A PARENT. My daughter can look to me as a true guidance in life, I am the shoulder to lean on, the ear to listen and the hug to fall into when having a bad day. I am the one who holds her accountable and teaches her to learn from mistakes.
You could almost simply say; I am her guiding light in this challenging world she is growing up in. In all reality, I don’t have to explain because the image above is the gift my daughter gave me this Christmas … I think that speaks volumes for our closeness.
This past weekend my daughter was upset that I wouldn’t let her go hibernate in my office on my laptop. It wasn’t happening. The day was beautiful and there was no reason for her to be on the laptop.
So the daughter walked around moaning about how there was nothing to do and so forth when finally, a light bulb went off in her head I presume, and she asked if she could search for something on my laptop.
I replied that she could use it for five minutes to search something but that was it. So when I walked into the office to check for confirmation that she was indeed doing only what I gave her permission for this is what I saw…
My daughter used Google to tell her “easy and fun ways to cool down on a hot summer day” because after all, why use your imagination? She cracks me up.
Is this what Tween years are really like in our technology based world?!
Living with a girl who is growing up means a lot of things; to start with it means the question of makeup and what she can or can not wear. It also means that morning drive to school she may just steal your hand held mirror, her own lip stick lip gloss type stuff you bought her and her nail sticks you got her at a conference in North Carolina a couple years back.
It also means a smelly car because who cares if she is fuming her brothers and me out of the car with her latest beauty trend product, after all she needs to beautify in the morning and if not enough time in the bathroom – it will be done in the car.
The joys of my lovely mornings before school with a daughter who is growing up, but again, I wouldn’t trade this for the world. Even if I want a vacation from time to time.
My oldest comes to me seeking a listening ear but as a Mom I want to help resolve whatever it is she is talking about. I don’t know if I am hard wired to try to find a solution or the perfect answer to whatever she has going on, but sometimes all she wants is a listening ear. There is no need to solve everything, children will learn on their own how to deal with various social situations, and I am not the type to want to make life too easy on my kids.
All too often I find myself telling my oldest “I don’t have all the answers, but I do love you” and usually this works just fine, however, there are times when that answer simply frustrates her beyond belief. It’s as if she truly thinks I can resolve something with the snap of a finger. The issues lately are that of social interactions, you see my daughter is highly advanced intellectually but socially? She is certainly a little nine year old girl with hormonal changes going on and friends moving on without her.
My daughter is at the age where some of her friends are allowed to be on Facebook, allowed to walk around downtown alone, and allowed to be home alone. I don’t let my daughter do any of those things, she can have some independence but it’s in different ways than what independence means to her friends.
It’s tough for me to watch as nine year old girls are so mean to each other, have various cliques and form bonds easily while my daughter is a lot like me, sensitive and wants to please everyone. Thankfully I am starting to outgrow that need to please everyone, but I am 30 years old and just barely accepting of the fact that pleasing everyone is not the way to live life. I hope through example my daughter learns quick than I did to just be who she is and love who she is.
Our book, Positive Girl – the Power of Your Thoughts, should be something I have her reading daily because I think our positive thoughts have slipped away. We used to spend quality time together with positive thoughts and conversations but now she isn’t taking to them as often. Here’s to me learning how to handle the tween girl years before the years slip through my fingers.
Click on over to my other blog where you can learn more about my daughter and my book, Positive Girl – The Power of Your Thoughts. We are kicking off public announcement of the book and as a way to get the word out to everyone online before local newspaper interviews occur this upcoming week!