I am talking about children, this is a question oh so many people ask when I am with three kids running wild or rambling on and on with this look on my face stating “how can I answer three kids at once?”. It’s funny that no matter how many kids you have, this age old question of “when are you going to have more” is asked to us parents.

As if the fact that three kids rambling on and on with their bouncy high energy level isn’t enough for us parents, we are prone to having to answer silly questions like when we are going to have more. Come on people, why ask such a silly question?!

The only time I think to ask one that question is when they seem to be venting about having their hands full and the question is clearly meant as a form of sarcasm, rather than a realistic question at that time. To be honest with everyone, the day my first born came into this world, watching her grow and having a blast being mom to her, made me want to have like six more.

My first born was and still is relatively the “easy” child, helpful, smart and usually very well at behaving. Sure my oldest tests limits and does all the normal kid things, but it’s no where near the challenges I face with my two sons. My second born wasn’t planned and I wasn’t really ready nor into the whole idea of having another child at the time. It wasn’t the right time, I was single, etc etc. I have to be honest though, I love him dearly and wouldn’t change the unplanned pregnancy for the world.

I had my second son two years after the first son and he was a joy just like his sister. An easy baby and that was the case until about the age of two when he became a wild child. High energy and always on the run, but still relatively “easy”, just like his sister. My middle child has had a ton of surgeries such as those ear tubes when younger, surgery on his penis and even deals with mental health type issues that are currently being looked into by a psychiatrist.  Counseling every two weeks really helps us parent this child and work with his unique personality.

I can be honest, there will be no more children for this Mom. Having the troubles that have arisen with all three of my kids here & there, the constant scheduling for appointments for three kids. The juggling of having two in school and two in sports. It’s all enough for me, because soon enough my last born will be in school and possibly into sports, so there will be three different schedules to make work well together.

I am happy with my three children. Wouldn’t trade a thing that goes wrong with them for the world. I love my happy chaos and do not wish to add another child to it. So the answer to “when are you having more?” is a flat out “never” people. No way in heck do I want another. Sure there are days I am down the middle road and think a baby would be great to have, but in all honesty, my kids are at that fun age and I can’t imagine going back to taking care of a baby who I would breastfeed and have to carry around. I enjoy holding hands with my kids & walking with them, I enjoy watching them gain their own independence and no way could I share myself just one more time with another child.

The three I have are my world and the three I have will have my undivided attention for the rest of their lives, well that is until they grow into adults and start families of their own – well then, and only then, will I have another baby to hug and love, but in the grandma kind of way!

Often I can be found referring to my family as “my happy chaos”. It is true, my household is high energy and it is true that we are usually smiling most times. Some moments, I want to rip my hair out of my head. Some moments, I want to laugh so hard I cry. Other moments, I am sad. Overall one thing is for sure, I am happy. Nothing has ever happened in my life, since being a Mom that makes me regret one moment of time spent with my children.

For me, no matter how much chaos is happening and no matter what else goes on to make me frustrated or sad, I am always happy inside about being mom. I am thankful I am the one my kids turn to, I am happy they have a place to feel confident and comfortable speaking their opinions and thoughts out loud. It’s the times when my kids are at their worst or upset and they turn to me to talk that I realize every waking moment of my parental “job” has been done right.

For when your kids can turn to you about anything, that is one true accomplishment to be proud of. Some day my kids will be teens with peer pressure and all sorts of tests in life, thankfully I have built that strong bond with my children all of their life. This means one day, when they are teens, they will know they can turn to Mama for calm, soft spoken advice, tips or just a hug if needed.

As a parent I know that it’s extremely important to be that safe haven for your child, there are a lot of dangers in the world, there are a lot stressful situations that will come up in life and it’s the parents job to be that child’s person of trust to come to when times are difficult.

What happens when a child comes to a parent with a tough situation yet is faced with the reality that there is little the parent can do to fix the situation? I like to think with every situation there is a solution, however, the solution isn’t always immediate when it needs to be immediate.

It’s so heartbreaking to know that you, as the parent, are not able to just swoop in and fix the issues that need to be fixed, why? Well because there is a process and sometimes that process makes your child feel as if they are not worthy, that what they have confided in you and other trusted adults wasn’t worth a thing. It’s hard to be in a situation like this but one things for sure, if you are that parent, the trusted source your child turns to when times get rough, remember to stay strong, pray and have faith that in good time things will get better.

I am thankful for a lot of things but lately I am thankful for the fact that I have developed such a bond with my children that they have trust to confide in me about anything. I also have such a bond with my children, as do most parents, to know when they are not telling the truth or exaggerating a situation.

The only problem with having this type of relationship with your children is that when they confide things to you that must be told to other people in order for any changes to be made. It breaks ones heart knowing that you have to do something to fix the situation, but your hands are tied since you can’t do this alone. It’s not that you don’t want to fight alone, it’s that it is not even possible.

I am hopeful that my words of wisdom such as;

You can only feel what another person attempts to make you feel if you allow it.

And;

You know in your heart & soul who you are as a person, an individual, you know what is true and what is false. Never allow another person’s negative attitude or beliefs get you to double think what you know in your heart to be true.

These are values I teach my children and remind myself almost every day. As a grown woman it is difficult for even me to accept these words of wisdom for which I have taught myself to live by for the past few years. I can not imagine having a child attempt to comprehend these words of wisdom right away. I only hope that my words of positive wisdom will eventually sink into the hearts and minds of my children, in turn creating a confident set of children that will blossom in this world through the path of teenager life, adult life and beyond.

I have never had a manicure nor pedicure, I am 30 years old. The thought has crossed my mind in the past few years of interacting with woman who blog and have this done on a regular basis but overall it hasn’t been a necessity in my life nor mind.

Rewind to the other night …

It was bedtime, the boys were tucked in their beds, fast asleep when I decided to do my normal Chicken Soup for the Soul Cat Lovers reading with my daughter while laying next to her in her bed.

After  reading a story out of the book, I decided it’s been awhile since I just sat and chatted with my daughter, it’s something we both need and miss dearly. It’s difficult to set aside “girl chat” time when the boys are running wild more often than not.

As we talked about her school day and other such odd ball topics she says out of the blue:

Is there a mani & pedi place nearby?

Umm… yes daughter I am sure there is but I haven’t ever been to one, why?

It’s just that my friends have fake nails and it helped them to stop biting their nails, but when they did the fake nails at home, they would fall off and didn’t look good. I want professional nails so maybe I will stop biting my nails.

Good theory, but does this girl not know that a manicure and pedicure is often therapy for woman? She is only 9 and already on the track towards divahood.

A video sharing my life raising my five year old … it’s difficult. Has anyone been here, done that? Would love tips, advice and suggestions. I am working with a counselor and he is going to be seeing a psychiatrist, but sometimes getting parenting advice from the online community helps!

Ever wonder why I appear grumpy, lost, not so motivated? This is why, I am usually drained by end of day so bad that it’s hard for me to even think let alone network with my friends online.