When I was a about 12 or 13 years old, maybe younger, not quite sure exactly, my Mom had this boyfriend. He was new, he wasn’t my Dad and I didn’t like him much at all at first. I was that daughter, the brat who apparently didn’t like my mom’s boyfriends unless they spoiled us girls. That’s how kids think, right? It’s all about them, never mind their parents happiness mattering.
I didn’t take to this guy very easily as I really don’t recall I ever took lightly to any of my Mom’s boyfriends while younger, however, he soon grew to be accepted by me and someone to this day words will stick with me. I think he was the one person who taught me how I may want to parent, it wasn’t just him because I do parent a lot like my Dad too. I am the perfect mix of all I had around me growing up with a twist of who I am personally.
The words I shall never forget were said to me during my trying of parent’s patience years. The teen years when I knew all. I did all I wanted to do. And no one matter but me. Yeah those years. I used to sneak out of my bedroom window at night, I would climb out of my bedroom window on the second floor of house, shimmy across the shingles to jump up on roof. Then shimmy down the angled roof to the top of the porch and jump off down to friends, usually boys. To hang out, have fun and well do things I shouldn’t have been doing at that age.
We had two doberman pinchers back then who barked like crazy some nights and although that freaked me out, nothing could stop me from sneaking out. It was what I wanted to do and that is all that mattered back then. Well one day my Mom’s boyfriend, who I called my Step Dad later on in life (even though they never married and have not been together for years now), said to me “If I catch anyone climbing into this house in a window, in the dark, I will be sitting there with a baseball bat and beat whoever it is that is sneaking in. To me that is an intruder and when it’s dark I won’t be able to see who it is. Just so you know”
That was his way of basically calling me out on sneaking out. The thing I loved most about this man was that he could scare the ever loving crap out of me, but did it in a way that wasn’t intimidating to a teen girl who ” knew all”. I don’t know if I ever snuck out after that talk, maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. But I do know those are the creative ways I would talk to my kids if they were up to no good. Let them know that I am aware of what they are doing and will rectify the situation if it happens again, but in a way that doesn’t challenge their teen brains to do it more. Not sure i would ever basically say I would beat my kids with a baseball bat, but I would be creative and am today with the kids being 10, 6 and 4.
Those are the words I shall never, ever forget.