I have never had a manicure nor pedicure, I am 30 years old. The thought has crossed my mind in the past few years of interacting with woman who blog and have this done on a regular basis but overall it hasn’t been a necessity in my life nor mind.

Rewind to the other night …

It was bedtime, the boys were tucked in their beds, fast asleep when I decided to do my normal Chicken Soup for the Soul Cat Lovers reading with my daughter while laying next to her in her bed.

After  reading a story out of the book, I decided it’s been awhile since I just sat and chatted with my daughter, it’s something we both need and miss dearly. It’s difficult to set aside “girl chat” time when the boys are running wild more often than not.

As we talked about her school day and other such odd ball topics she says out of the blue:

Is there a mani & pedi place nearby?

Umm… yes daughter I am sure there is but I haven’t ever been to one, why?

It’s just that my friends have fake nails and it helped them to stop biting their nails, but when they did the fake nails at home, they would fall off and didn’t look good. I want professional nails so maybe I will stop biting my nails.

Good theory, but does this girl not know that a manicure and pedicure is often therapy for woman? She is only 9 and already on the track towards divahood.

A video sharing my life raising my five year old … it’s difficult. Has anyone been here, done that? Would love tips, advice and suggestions. I am working with a counselor and he is going to be seeing a psychiatrist, but sometimes getting parenting advice from the online community helps!

Ever wonder why I appear grumpy, lost, not so motivated? This is why, I am usually drained by end of day so bad that it’s hard for me to even think let alone network with my friends online.

My daughter is good about using one cup a day, nothing more, nothing less, but my sons … they drive me bonkers!!!

My three year old is famous for wanting a new cup, a new straw, a new cover for each drink he wants and my five year old is almost as bad. So listen to my video talking about the issue of kids using too many cups in a day and tell me I am not alone with this fight?

It is simply amazing how fast an alcohol problem can sneak up on you without you even realizing. Taking one sip of alcohol one night may feel great, relaxing and allow you to wind down in a way that you never were able to. Who knew the stress of life was so easily removed when that alcohol hits your heart and warms your soul, a smile is surely inevitable when alcohol is in your system.

There is a growing epidemic among moms in the world, we are turning to alcohol in small amounts through out our days as a way to feel more at ease, a way to get lost or simply a way to interact with other moms during play dates. One glass of alcohol may not place you over the legal limit driving your child home from a play-date, but are you really willing to take that chance? The Mom in Best Kept Secret did, she took that chance over and over. Even after someone stepped in and custody of her son was jeopardized this mom still didn’t realize that she had a problem.

I think it’s normal for any mom to think that a glass of alcohol here or there isn’t a problem, it’s a small amount and everyone else at the play-dates or mom get together were enjoying casual conversation over a glass of wine too. Other moms are hiding their alcohol problem, sneaking some alcohol in their coffee every morning, drinking after the kids are asleep in large consumptions and lying to friends and family about just how much alcohol they are consuming.

If you are a person lying to yourself and others about your alcohol consumption, you may quite possible have an alcohol problem. Take a look first at your family history, do you have a lot of alcohol use in your family genes? Alcoholics run rampid in my family and it’s such a hard thing to fight. I was told years ago that I pretty much have a 99.9% chance of becoming an alcoholic based on family history alone. Scary, right?

I have made my own mistakes regarding alcohol and I learn from them every time. I do not break the law when it comes to alcohol consumption, I hate hearing about drunk and buzzed drivers, and I get concerned when I find parents are getting wasted near their children. I am all for enjoying a glass of alcohol here and there, but when you have a true alcohol problem, it may be best to say goodbye to that alcohol for good.

Here are some tests to see if you may possible be addicted to alcohol:

• Stop drinking even for one day, note how your mind and body reacts. If you can’t seem to get your mind off wanting that alcohol, you may have a problem.
• Stop drinking for a few days, if not a week, do you start having withdrawal systems, such as shivers, anger and an uncontrollable urge to sleep? If you have any negative symptoms you may have an alcohol problem.
• Are your friends and family concerned about you? Do you seem more withdrawn from society in a way that is negative? If you have any of these things going, you may have an alcohol problem.

While watching Dr Drew one night on HLN I found out that rehab was actually created for alcoholics, and that alcohol withdrawals can be more dangerous than any other addiction. I would love to one day share my story on alcohol and alcohol addiction, but that’s too much to share today.

If you or someone you love is struggling with using alcohol as a way to cope with life, whether in a hidden way or wide open for the world to see, please, I beg of you, find a way to step in and help them. The best way is not to tell them that they have a problem, because until a person realizes that they do have a problem on their own, there isn’t much you can do to get them to seek assistance or want to stop. Be the friend you should be and do your best to share knowledge about alcoholism and do it in a polite, respectful but “I mean business” and am concerned sort of way.

Sure there will be some hard roads when you or your friend stop drinking alcohol and go through  major withdrawal symptoms but the end result is sooooo worth it. If anything, get your friend to read Best Kept Secret because this is a fantastic, eye opening book for any one who has known, is struggling with or currently knows someone with an alcohol addiction. Oh and if your friend or you have a Kindle, Best Kept Secret is on the Kindle too. Out of all the books I read in 2011, this one struck a cord with me deep to my soul.

Related articles

• Alcohol Is Part Of My Family Tree… (arealmummydiary.wordpress.com)
• Hangovers over? The Chinese compound that may stop hangovers, reduce alcoholism – Toronto Star (thestar.com)
• Love Letters: Does he drink too much? (boston.com)

I was always taught at various classes and counseling sessions I have been to in my life that a child will always figure out the faults in a parent without the other parent trying to bring light to those faults. When a parent tries to bring light to another parents faults, as they see them to be, it only causes hurt, pain and sometimes anger within their child. The child may grow resentment towards the parent that is down talking the other parent and in turn what the parent thought was protection turns into a mess!

My parents divorced when I was around 11 years old give or take, and it was so hard being a child at that age with divorcing parents. I don’t have a lot of memories about how I felt back then or issues I may have had right away but in the long run I do know it messed with me having two parents who divorced and truly couldn’t get along. I remember it being so difficult, I didn’t want my parents being put down by anyone let alone by each other. Eventually I grew older and became a parent of my own two weeks before I turned 21. When I became a mother, it all clicked, I realized with the help of counseling and parenting courses that co-parents can get along at a level that is beneficial for a child. The co-parents don’t have to like each other, but they need to find that common ground to raise their child without making the child feel as if they have to choose a side.

When it comes to a child and their parents, they do not want to have to pick Dad over Mom or Mom over Dad, honestly that is all bullshit! A parent should never, ever want a child to choose one over the other, it is a ridiculous thought to me, yet so many co-parents pit their child against each other and it does nothing but ruin the future of that child’s life! The child will eventually grow to despise one or both parents and look for other places to find love. The options for a child to find love are not speakable to me, because I walked that path. I would never wish that life upon another child, whether the child is that of my own blood or not.

It’s extremely difficult when you do not like another human being to shut your mouth and not utter a word while your child learns the ins and outs of how each parent works, but you can do it! Believe me, if I can learn to do it, you can too, no matter how difficult. The best way to work with a child who has co-parents and is having a difficult time with one of the parents is to just take the high road and give them a hug, listen and do not judge. Allow that child the time to collect their own thoughts and make their own final decision regarding the situation or parent. If you are unable to listen and be as unbiased as you can, then maybe it’s time that child spoke with a counselor, seeing a counselor is not a bad thing, believe me…. I see a counselor every couple of weeks to assist in parenting techniques and it has been a blessing!

Whether you are struggling with co-parenting, keeping your mouth shut about negative adjectives regarding the other parent or just not sure what to do, believe me, there is help out there. Seek parenting classes, anger management, whatever resource you feel fits your situation, please take advantage of it. Making yourself a better parent is a daily job and it’s vitally important to your child’s future!