Well okay I have to share that statement with Justin, so our walls, our house and our rules! Either way it’s us and no one else that will tell our children what they can do, can’t do or should do inside of the walls we call our home. That includes a co-parent. I don’t care if that co-parent is super involved, an awesome parent and an amazing person to their child; they still have no right to come into my home and tell our child what they will or will not be allowed to do here, in my home!
Am I wrong or am I right? I love co-parenting, it works so wonderfully. My daughter has it great, or so it seems most times, she has two loving parents who can get along with each other and even attend events, appointments and similar together when it involves her. The only problem is; he apparently thinks it is okay to rule my house too. Nope, notta, sorry not happening!
I don’t care how much this dude helps me out, fathers our child or goes out of his way to be at everything that involves her. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate the help, I think it’s great that my child has a super involved father but mind you I do not take kindly to people coming into my home and telling a child what they can or can’t do. I would never go to this dude’s house and tell my daughter what she can or can’t do behind his walls; those are his walls, his house and his rules. I don’t like his rules in all honesty, there are many where I cringe and wonder if my daughter will be able to be a child there?! Regardless of my personal feelings of the rules at the other home I feel I have no place to say a thing, why? For starters his rules are not harming my child, even though I have to question if sometimes it’s emotionally harming her having two completely different households, and for second it’s his house and I don’t care if we both have equal rights to her, we also have 100% rights to rule our homes the way we deem fit.
I have been really good at biting my tongue per the request of my daughter but it’s to the point where I want to call up a family meeting and stand my ground. No one other than, maybe, just maybe babysitter, is going to come inside my home and over step boundaries when it comes to my rules! If the rules do her no harm, then leave it be dude! Oh and if you have a problem with it make sure you take it up with me not her! It’s the adults that should be discussing “issues” not a child and parent.
Done … you can move on with your day or leave a comment below telling me what you think about this topic …
Side Note: I don’t mean to sound rude, my daughter has a very involved father who, for the most part, I get along with , but sometimes I swear I wonder where he thinks he has a right to rule my house too.
TOTALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! did I say !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! agree!!! I don’t understand the nerve of some people these days.
Do you really wanna go there? It’s funny how even complete strangers these days think they can step into our conversations and our ways of parenting.
if they aren’t being harmed you have no right to say zip. Good post!
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I think a family meeting is a good idea and long overdue. It is getting ridiculous and he needs to be talked to, be it through you and J or you and him it needs to be discussed. He needs to respect the boundaries of your home and property. You know I am all for counseling too. Maybe a swift kick in the CROTCH too.
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I agree a family meeting would be a great start. I know that when me and Jeff seperated for a bit he never once tried to go against my rules in my house (though we more or less share the same thoughts with the rules lol) and I’d never expect to do that at his house. Hopefully he gets the memo lol.
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maybe the key is in your last line asking where he thinks he has the right to run your house.
perhaps he got it from u …..just perhaps.
i wonder if, as u know more fully that u are the mistress of ur home, the rest falls into place easily.
maybe dad is just like a mirror letting u see a reflection that is hard to notice on your own. if so, as u see yourself as the sole leader, so will he.
i may be way off base with all this this – i offer my perspective mainly so i don’t bit my tongue so hard that i need stitches !
i see so much of myself in your note. thank you ~ Laurie
Very good comment! WOW, I wonder if what you are trying to say is that I do not see myself as a leader, I sort of cower back and don’t stick up in the moment for myself and my rules. In that case you are right he truly knows he can pull this and get away with it. I thank you for your comment, what a good point! Thank you Laurie!
now u are starting to see what may actually be showing you! nice going!
maybe thats a purpose for some of the difficulties that keep coming up.
you are done with the hard stuff- now you get to just focus on knowing that you are a strong leader (not what u specifically need “to do.”).
this process works like a charm for me – it just takes about 3 me about 3 weeks to make this kind of a change. knowing this approach has made my life much richer and easier.
(if u want a little extra support – just e-mail me and i will respond more privately – with just a few little adjustments in your thinking process – life gets MUCH easier!).
enjoy~ laurie