Sometimes you have to make a decision that you never thought you would be able to nor have to make. I was recently faced with one of those type of decisions and all of a sudden the answer to finally just walk away made total sense. Let that person know that I can no longer condone their negative actions, I can no longer listen to them sit up on their high horse acting as if they do no wrong. So begins a new chapter in my life, the chapter of getting off my butt and sticking up for what I believe in no matter who it upsets! This my friends is the start of a newer ME, a person who still is positive, still loves to help others but finally has said enough of the BS from everyone else who only wants to make the people around them miserable. It’s funny because I truly believe this person doesn’t even see how miserable they really are … maybe counseling will do them some good, it did me some good for sure!
I am excited, scared, sad, angry and a bit nervous because I haven’t ever really made a decision quite like this one. This decision involves a family member and I am a hug family person. I have never believed in not talking to your family for long periods of times because you never know if that will be the last time you two spoke. I don’t like leaving loved ones angry and I never let my hubs or children leave the house without a hug and I love you. That is me, who I am and who I have been as long as I can remember. I have had friends who haven’t talked to one or both of their parents in years and overall they were okay with their decision, they usually agreed that it totally sucks that things had to be this way, but reality is life isn’t full of easy decisions.
A person must take time to realize that you didn’t choose who your family is, you can only choose your friends. When you are a child, under the adult age of 18, you are sort of stuck living this life with the family you have and there is not much you can do about it. Sure you can rebel, you can talk back, you can act out, but all this does is anger your family and bring on negative attention, believe me been there done that! I was a good student in school but a rebellious child at home for sure! As soon as I became old enough to venture out on my own, well about age 17 I had my own apartment & that was my senior year in high school, I was happy to be free of the reigns of my house, I was happy to be able to make my own decisions, to smile for no reason, to laugh, to blast music. I enjoyed all the simple things in life back then but of course I wasn’t a parent.
Now that I am a mother of three children I have to make decisions based on whats best for them and it’s not best that my children see me run down by a family member to the point of crying unstoppable. I can’t cry any longer, and I can’t allow this person to continue to mess with my head as they did for so many years growing up. I am me, I am happy, I am confident I do the best I can and I have a huge enough support system online and in real life that losing one person may break my heart deeply, but it won’t break ME.