I am Nervous for My Children

As I watch over the world today, sitting here watching the Today show hearing about a man who complained in a tweet and almost got kicked off a Southwest Flight for complaining in a tweet. Then there are other news stories where someone tweeting or posted on FB something that “made someone uncomfortable” and had backlash for it or were disciplined in some way. What is our world coming to? We can no longer speak our complaints publicly aloud for all to read or hear? Why is it that so many want to make sure that everyone is comfortable?

Let’s face it people, we are not meant to feel comfortable with all situations and all scenarios. People are not always going to think you are nice. People are not always going to like you. While this may upset you or make you feel uncomfortable, who cares. I face these feelings on a regular, while I usually attract really sweet people, there are occasions where I am confronted with negative, mean people and that’s okay. I don’t whine and cry or tell on them because I am uncomfortable, if I am uncomfortable I need to get over it.

There is a fine line between a scary situation where you feel threatened for a valid reason and you feel uncomfortable but need to simply get over it. I do not feel that we should be taught to shut up and not speak our feelings and opinions. We are allowed to have those feelings and opinions, we own them. Get over it!

Why am I nervous for my children?

I am raising my children in a semi old fashion way as far as thinking patterns go and speaking up for their own selves. I have and still am raising my children to think for their own self. I want my children to develop their own opinions and feelings based on who they are as individuals. Sure, they are children, but you know what?! They are also human beings that need to learn how to be well rounded, respectful, healthy opinionated adults while under my supervision so as to allow me to lead them properly.

I teach my children to speak up for how they feel, I also teach them that while they may feel one way about something that not everything they dislike is going to change. Allowing my children to have a voice, teaching them to speak up and feel for their own self really creates this self confident, independent personality that I feel is important to have in society as an adult. I watch so many adults struggle with these type of things; self confidence, independent thinking and the ability to speak up for their own self. I do not wish to raise children that lack those skills and in all honesty, I have three well spoken children who can eventually tell me what is on their mind.

Sure, sometimes they don’t speak it properly, I am famous for telling them to “please watch your tone and body language”, because that is all part of me teaching them how to express themselves properly. Many read body language before they hear what you are saying, so I am working on the whole package to ensure my children will be adults who speak up and do not ever allow themselves to be treated poorly. Ever.

The Future Looks Scary

I normally don’t catch the news, it’s odd that I happened to be able to watch it today, but every chance I do have to watch the news, I just get sad. I get upset. I get frustrated. We are not living in the same society I grew up in, and it’s not a better society than I grew up in either. I watch adults turn into sheep, we tend to complain and whine but don’t have the actions behind our complaints to make change. I watch as our society starts to turn into this socialist community almost; where our rights are being slowly stripped away and our ability to speak our opinions aloud are being washed away.

I wonder how my children will be viewed when they become adults. Will my children keep these skills I taught them for so many years? Will my children be suppressed to not be these independent, self confident people when they become adults? I sure as heck hope not. I can only hope that we see a positive direction soon, because I cannot handle watching rights being stripped away day after day while we, the current adults in society, allow that to happen.

We the people need to continue to raise our children to be independent thinkers, self confident people and we the people can only do that through being the proper parental example. Fight back. Speak up. Feel something and let that feeling guide you into making change happen!

 

Because That’s Family

My daughter is at that age where she is starting to want to do what she wants and not want to do what the family wants to do. Although it’s a quick moment she feels this way, it is a new chapter in our lives where my first born is getting older and having two little brothers can sometimes be more annoying than it used to be. Combine the two little brothers with one having autism and really not getting the emotional side of things, more often than not, it makes it even more difficult for this tween daughter of mine to have tolerance some days.

I get it. I have low tolerance some days. I get it. I don’t like to play Mario Kart with our autistic family member either. I get it. I don’t always want to do what any of the kids want to do.

But I do it.

Why?

Because that’s family!

I am a firm believer that, within reason, a family unit learns to do things that each of us may not want to do in that moment because another family member wants to. We keep a balance in allowing each child to have some choice in what to do during the day. Being home all summer with three kids can make for a juggling act and my children need to learn how to balance and tolerate each other.

Because that’s family!

I teach my children the life lessons I want instilled within them through my own actions, leading by example is best in all situations in life. Sure I don’t much like to play Mario Kart, I never really used to like Minecraft, and I certainly don’t enjoy being chopped playing Ninja’s, but I do it. All of it.

Because that’s family!

With my example and ways of communicating properly to children, we have learned to become quite the unit together. As my daughter stated the other day, “we have a very understanding, compassionate, loving and accepting family anyone can blossom when they live with us because we accept and love everyone”!

Because that’s family!

I See you Staring, and It’s Not Okay

Raising a special needs child who’s special needs are not visible can make parenting a challenge. Really that whole sentence is bull crap and the reason I say it is bull crap is because raising a special needs child is challenging regardless of the physical appearance, level of special needs or anything else you want to compare from one special needs child to any other child. Raising children is a challenge. Period. The end.

I am raising three very different children, sure you can pinpoint a similar trait between them all, if you are around them long enough, but overall, at first glance I bet you see that one child … my middle son who happens to be special needs. You do not notice my other two children who are mingling, smiling, laughing and having a grand ole time, you notice that one child of mine who is having a difficult time transitioning from the pool to the car or from the car to the park. You are seeing that child having a hard time and you look at me. You stare. As if I am the worlds worse parent, why? I honestly cannot answer that question. I do not know why you stare.

Clearly you have never had a bad day. Clearly you have never had a difficult time with something. Clearly you simply just do not have much compassion because staring or glaring or even whispering amongst yourselves is what makes you feel good. The thing about your whispers, stares and glares is that you are damn lucky it doesn’t affect my special needs child. My middle child has autism and his difficult times have no boundaries and no limits, meltdowns can be brought on by something minimal like a deviled egg sliding the wrong on his plate to the chair being tilted slightly, to the number of people around him. My middle child has autism and he doesn’t notice a thing that you do, for he doesn’t care. My middle child may be classified as special needs but I consider him lucky, lucky that he will not bare witness to the cruel ways people will look at him when he’s having a hard time. Lucky that, unlike you, he doesn’t give a damn about you, he only cares about himself and what’s going on in his world. You all that stare could take a lesson from my special needs child, because while he was born with some special needs; he is much more than that. My special needs child is the most honest, loyal and devoted child I have ever met.

In other ways, I feel that my son is not lucky. He will form so many close bonds with people who will be cruel and mean to him. My son will suffer some social awkwardness and yes, you will stare then too. You will stare at him as if he has done lost his mind, because after all, the only thing you see is a ‘normal’ young boy, who looks overall healthy, seems fine and has no physical disability or disinformation to his body that screams out ‘special needs’. I feel the pain he doesn’t feel. I have had to learn to be stronger as a parent, because of him. My son’s siblings have learned to be stronger because of him. My son’s siblings have learned to not stare at others differences, nor judge other people for their differences. Because of special needs child with autism, we have learned to have such a deeper level of compassion, patience and love that you, who are staring at my seven year old son … will ever have.

I say to you, those who stare at something that is appearing to be an unruly child, or a mother who doesn’t know how to parent her child, stop staring. Stop glaring. Stop whispering amongst yourselves. If you have a question about my parenting or my son, ask. I would much rather you ask, let me explain or you just stay the hell out of it. Go on with your marry way and not stare. My son wasn’t bothering you by his crying, was he? My son wasn’t bothering you when I had to restrain him as a means to whack him back down to planet Earth, was he? My son did nothing to you, right? Then stop. Have some compassion and maybe, just maybe, instead of staring at me .. lend a hand. Lend me a hug. Reach out to me.

More often than not, I am holding tears back, just below the surface and one wrong transition, one bad move, one every day situation for my autistic son can pretty much put me on the verge of a full meltdown of tears myself. Stop judging others. Stop thinking you are a better parent than me, because I am the last person who would ever say, think or feel that way about you. Ever.

While I hold back how I feel about your stares, I have learned to put that on the back burner, because in that moment all that matters is that I do what has been taught to me to do when my son is having that type of situation. I have been trained on how to handle my son and one of the biggest things that ensure I handle him properly, is to ensure I ignore your stares. I have to suck it up, to be honest, and not worry about that look I can feel you giving me, that burning sensation of your eyeballs glued onto my son and me. I have to ignore it. Meanwhile, I am breaking down inside. I am hurting. I am struggling, because being a parent to a child with special needs is a challenge. Raising kids is a challenge. We all need to have more compassion for others, parenthood is rough stuff people. Love more, judge less. It takes a village.

The end.

 

 

Growing Vegetables, Slightly Later in Season

We have been wanting to have our own garden forever, but we moved into this house a bit late in the season last year and with all that comes with moving, unpacking and settling in, a garden really was last on the totem pole of our to-do list. This year, Spring 2014, however, we knew a garden was a must. Sadly, we did start late in the season, so whether we get any crop or not is uncertain. This is how I started our garden with the little man, my youngest ….

Planting Veggies with Kids

First, I purchased the type of seed starter package that will decompose in the ground, this leads to less issues when transplanting your sprouts of veggies and fruits.

Planting a Garden with Kids

Second, we had to purchase all of the seed packets of veggies and fruits that we wanted to possibly include in our garden. We have pumpkin, watermelon, green beans, peas, and the list goes on. Tip I learned this first time around - start earlier in the season with planting and purchase seeds online, they are cheaper online than in local shops.

Planting Veggies with Kids IMAGE THREE

Third step is to start putting the soil into each compartment of your seed tray. The little one loved doing this with his little shovel. It was a messy job, but that’s why I had the planter on the ground of our dining room floor; easy to sweep up afterward.

Planting Veggies with Kids IMAGE FOUR

The most important step comes now; inserting the seeds into each compartment. Sadly, when you do this with a little one, you may end up with crowded veggies but hey that’s part of having fun in learning. You can always space them out when they sprout up. Little man had fun inserting seeds into each compartment, slightly under the soil.

Planting Veggies with Kids IMAGE FIVE

Last, but certainly not least, you must water with warm water all of the soil with seeds in them. Place this outside or covered in plastic to really get that greenhouse effect. Note: Do not place outside if using this decomposable container or if you are still at risk of a freeze outside.

 

Planting Veggies with Kids IMAGE SIX

Within time, you will start to see your veggies and fruits sprout up. It’s an exciting time watching these grow and it’s also a very fun learning experience for your kids.

 

 

 

{Wordless Wednesday} Let go and Laugh … Outtakes WITH LINKY #ww

Wordless Wednesday Love Outtakes



Our Very Own First Garden

Purchasing this home last year meant it was time to let my daughter’s dream come true, with her very own garden. We went out and bought the seeds, soil and containers to start the seeds in. Yet, we didn’t touch them because of situations that made me uncertain if we would be able to have a garden here this year, but since now all that is settled for now … the little man and I started to plant some seeds.

Planting a Garden With kids

I brought the soil inside and we planted some veggies and fruits. We have a wide range of options and while we did plant a bit late in season, we are hopeful that some of the plants will sprout up in time for us to enjoy them. So far we have Green Beans, Corn, Peas, and some other plants sprouting up.

photo 2(3)

 

photo 1(3)

Sadly I didn’t label the first top picture box of seeds, so I am uncertain what that big thing is that’s growing? That container has onions, carrots, corn and radishes in it, I do believe. The bottom one is all label so I know we have cucumbers, green beans and peas sprouting so far!

Do you do a garden with the kids? Share some tips for us beginners please :)

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