Late on Christmas evening last year, 2013, my boyfriend of about one year knelt down on his knee and asked me to do him the monumental favor of becoming his wife, and asked for me to spend the rest of my life by his side as his wife. We recently purchased a home in the beginning of July 2013, we blended his two children with my three, we have gone through a lot more than most who are just starting out go through. We have already experienced marriage, children and divorce. We have already experienced holding a job to financially support our families who later became what some call a “broken home”. With all the baggage we carried into our relationship it still amazes me to this day how we can lay down to bed and wake up the same way every single day … in love with each other. To that man, I write this open letter, because I’m feeling a little sappy today.
To the man who stole my heart,
I’m not an easy person to live with, and I know that. I have spent far more years being a single parent than being a parent with another adult in a household. I have spent far too many years not being able to place responsibilities on other people’s shoulders, because it was me who ultimately had to ensure my household was financially secure. I spent far too many years being this independent woman, that it damaged me in some ways. While I may sometimes call myself damaged, you know that I truly, deeply love myself and that the term damaged simply means that I am guarded in some areas of financial security and parenting ways and a wee bit stubborn by nature due to my past experiences.
With that being said, you have opened my eyes and my heart to a whole new world, a life in which I can let go of some things. A life in which I can place some of the responsibilities I have held onto for so long, into your hands. You have opened my eyes and my heart to what a real relationship is, as it pertains to raising children and becoming a blended family. I thank you for giving me your patience each and every waking day. I thank you for loving me as I am and not trying to change me into a person you think I need to be. I thank you for understanding why sometimes I resort back to that guarded, I-have-to-handle-this-in-order-for-it-to-get-done-right meantality and just going with it.
I thank you for knowing and trusting that when I am hormonal, it will pass. I thank you for understanding that I am still a work in progress each day, that I will never be perfect, but in loving you, I have opened my heart in ways I haven’t been able to in many years. I thank you for snuggling up to me each night when we crawl into bed and expecting nothing more than to curl up and fall asleep together. I thank you for being that shoulder I need when raising my kids gets a little too much for me. I thank you for helping me see some things in a different light.
I thank you for being my partner, stepping up when need be, cleaning my car off for me, doing the dishes without complaint if I had a long day and didn’t get them done. I thank you for spending the hours while I am getting my kids tucked in, folding laundry instead of taking that time to relax after your long day at work.
Quite simply; I thank you for loving me and allowing me to love you back. I thank you for being mature, a real man in my eyes. I thank you for asking me to be that one special woman who gets to wake up and go to bed with you every night for the rest of your life.
I love you, more and more each passing day.
The woman who will marry you in 2015